My son is 2.5 years old. Recently, he pooped in the bathtub, and now he is scared to take a bath. Frankly I could have & should have reacted differently when it happened. I pulled him out of the tub and sat him right on the potty which I think scared him (he is not potty trained and is not used to sitting on the potty yet – he would stand to pee in the potty but I never wanted to sit on it yet) . Then I hollered for my husband to come help me clean it up. My husband brought me windex and a roll of paper towels (which I found to be less than helpful) so I hollered a little at my husband too. I am not talking about major yelling or screaming or anything like that; just a quick “darn it, that is not helpful, bring me the tub cleaner!” directed at my husband. Well, I am sure I have traumatized my son now with this. I wish I could change the way I reacted, but I can’t, so I am wondering if anyone has any good advice on helping to fix this going forward. For the first week or so he was just terrified of taking a bath at all and would cry and cry if I put him in the tub. And while he was in the tub, he would put his hands on his bottom as though he was trying to stop himself from pooping. He has never had a problem or a history of doing this before, this is the first poop in the tub incident since he was a baby. I finally came up with the idea of a swimmy diaper. He is totally fine with taking a bath with a swimmy diaper on, but as soon as I take it off he cries and wants out of the tub. We have been using the swimmys for 3 weeks now and I don't know what do to. Should I just let him use the swim diapers as long as he wants too? I am wondering now if I am feeding into this and making it worse because I am so worried about it. He has good verbal skills and I have talked to him repeatedly about this and told him that it is OK to poop and it is OK if he poops in the tub and that mommy and daddy are not upset, and that we won’t be upset if he poops in the tub again. Has anyone had a similar experience, and if so, what did you do? I would appreciate any advice, but I don’t really need to be berated and judged about this though, so if you don’t have anything helpful to add, feel free to not comment on this. I promise I already feel bad enough.
Thank you all so much for your advice and kind words. I am pleased to announce that I think this phase is offically over! The very day that I posted this, we headed up for bath time as usual and on the way we happened to find a Thomas the train bath toy that had been MIA for a while. We took it with us and instead of going into his room first, we went straight to the bathroom. He was so absorbed with his "new" toy I just casually got him undressed and in the tub and he did not even realize the whole time that he did not have a swimmy on! I think the key was the distraction and that I did not ask him about wanting a swimmy - I think that after a while because he had such a strong reaction I was coddling this and asking him if he needed one still and that encouraged him to hang onto his fear. We are now swimmy free for several days!!
We had this problem with my daughter at 2. What I think helped out was tablets that change the water different colors. She loves it and now can't wait to take a bath to change the water different colors. The package has Elmo on the front and it's about $5 a can, but can last upto 100 baths.
Don't feel bad!! These things happen. I like the suggestions of trying the color tabs (my kids love them) or taking him in the shower with you. I also think it's fine for him to wear swim diaper - you can reach in and wash/rinse him in a diaper. I'd try not to make a big deal out of it because it really (truly) is not a big deal. Good luck, and please don't beat yourself up anymore!
We all have our less than optimal moments in life. I've had a couple with my son that I wish I could take back... but mothers are human too! First thing I do is apologize. Clearly you have talked to him. Have you asked why he is so afraid? Also, I would just let the swim diaper thing go for awhile if it makes him happy (you can let them dry and reuse them if the expense is getting you - they are pricey!). I do like the idea(s) of making his bath more fun w/bath markers, etc. It's a phase and will soon pass even though it never feels like it in the moment. Don't beat yourself up Momma!
It happens, it's disgusting, and we react. He will get over it. I like the idea of finding something that makes bath time more fun for him, a special toy, the color tablets. If the swim diapers are making it easier to get him into the bathtub, then let him use them. Does he put them on himself? If so, let him be responsible for that, don't make a big deal of it. I probably wouldn't talk about the incident anymore, let it go and see what happens. He may surprise you and just decide he doesn't need the swim diaper one night.
I don't think I have any advice. Just want to encourage you not to beat yourself up over your reaction. We all have those crazy times as parents that we react to a situation and then wish we could suck the words right back into our mouths or replay the situation and act differently. Being a mom is very stressful and we're not perfect! Your son's gonna be just fine! :)
My kids have done the same and I also reacted by whipping them out immediately and then draining and cleaning the tub, I don't think you scarred him for life, lol! My kids were not afraid to go back in after that, but they were afraid when they were little and what helped then was that I would take a bath with them and they sat between my legs. More an issue of the size of the tub versus the accustomed babytub. But perhaps he would like that? My kids also used the color tablets in the water or shaving foam to "paint" on the tub wall with a brush. I don't think his privates will get very clean wearing a swimmy in the tub but perhaps once he takes it off you can use a watering can or hand shower to spray him clean? Not sure if I could do it, but perhaps just put him in the tub crying and let him experience that nothing bad happens? You could shower with him or let him shower and stopper the tub so that if fills up a little and let him play in that for a while? You could also tell him that I once put my very constipated daughter in a very warm tub IN ORDER for her to have a bowel movement, since she had not pooped in a long time. It worked! We all do what we must to get through the day. There is a joke that goes something like "have you ever met a functional family? How were they?" Good luck with your little guy.
This has happened to every kid. It could be that he needed to go and the warm water helped things along. You could try giving him showers for a while.
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