i read parts of it, and i hated it. i read a part about teaching a child not to hit with a toy by hitting the child with a toy. yeah right. seriously? kids think that if you do it its ok to do. teach by example, not by a book or rule. teach by love and living not by techniques. teach by heart and instinct and sense not by commands.
they follow the good old "spare the rod" thing - but they dont realize that the rod was the stick the shepherds carried, and i doubt they beat on their sheep with that rod! however, if a wolf came along, you can bet they would beat at the wolf! we protect our children from the wrong choices (=wolf) and we guide them with the staff to the right way.
if you are a Christian person, think of Christ. never once did he raise His voice at someone in discipline, but in righteous anger (in the temple). he wasnt a tyrant when he overturned the tables, but heartsick that these people were treating His Father's house like a den of thieves. heartsick that the people who should have known better, didnt. he wasnt angry, he was disappointed. never did our Lord and Savior raise His voice in discipline and i cant ever imagine Him spanking or hitting anyone. if i do something wrong, He cries, He doesnt think its time for a spanking. bad things in my life do not "come from Him" the way people think. satan is always in our way, trying to lead us away from God, and make us think that somehow God IS punishing us. but God loves us, constantly aches for us to choose the right way that He leads us to, and is heartsick when we fall. through His unfailing love, He gives us forgiveness when we admit our wrongs, and He gives us more guidance and move love every day.
in my mind, with my children, i try to treat them the way Christ would treat me. the way He does treat me. forgiveness, guidance. we forget that children are children. their brains are not properly and completely developed. they do not always understand right from wrong in every situation. our job is to guide them, not scare them by anger or punishment, into the right way.
you do what is right in your heart. im not telling you im one that never spanks. sometimes i do, and it hurts me. im not sure if its wrong or not. but i know that i try so hard not to do that. its humiliating for my son, and its hurtful, and makes our relationship complicated because i love him so much and yet i hit him? what must he think you know? that love and hitting are the same? its complicated.
you do whats best for you and never put the advice of a book, doctor, friend, family member or anything else over the advice of your heart. if we listen to our instincts instead of books, God has already given us the way to guide our kids. its just harder to listen to.