To Speak or Not to Speak, That Is the Question...

My son did not speak until he was almost 4. At 3 years he went into the public school system in a program cslled PPCD. He was in a vocabulary rich environment and also received therapy 2X/week. All you have to do is go to the elementary school that he would be enrolled in and tell them you want him tested for speech delay. Once you make the request you the school has a certain amount of time to follow through. Good luck!

I can relate. I also have a two year old that's very hyper. She does go to daycare, although, and I believe that's been a great help for me and, most importantly, her development. She also doesn't let me read a book to her. In fact, she does exactly what your daughter does too. As far as her speech, well, she does express her self in words, but not in complete sentences. Still, I don't worry too much about that. The way I see it, she'll eventually be able to speak properly. I believe she's at a stage where the whole world is a playground. She's trying out new things, and figuring out how to "push mommy's buttons" so-to-speak. I believe you are doing the best thing you can for your daughter at this point. Be patient. At this age their attention span is very short and their filled with never ending energy. If you push too hard, the end result could be worse. Most importantly, you've gone to the professionals and they've ruled out any problems, so, all you can do is be patient. With kids this age its hard to pin point when they will accomplish cirtain skills or even speak properly. I think your daughter, and mine, will eventually reach the point where they'll sit still for a longer time and speak the way other kids their age do. It's just a matter of being patient. Well, good luck and keep us posted.
:)

Call Child Find at LISD, they will screen her, and if it is best for her, put her in a pre-k type enviroment at your nearest elementry school to see if that helps. They were VERY good to us, so I know that they will take very good care of your special little angel!

When my son turned three he could say mama and papa (pacifier), nothing else. I started him in PPCD half day, I think it's called something else now but it's the step above ECI coming to your house, it was a regular pre-school and the teacher just spent a little extra one on one time with my son helping him learn how to talk. When he was about 3 1/2 he suddenly started talking our ears off in WHOLE, complete sentences. The diagnostitian decided he had just skipped the whole "parrotting" stage and the one word stage. She thinks he knew the language all along and just chose not to talk until he was ready. He is almost 9 now and going into the 3rd grade making straight A's and still talking my head off so my advice is don't worry and enjoy the silence!

Hi! I am also a SAHM with one child. My son will be 2 in October. He was only saying about 5 words and we have enlisted help with EIC. He is now talking more. Here are a few tips they gave me and they seem to be helping. they are easy things that YOU can do that have really made a difference for us. I Think that with my son, I just wasn't really making him talk even when he knew the words.
* Give choices (do you want milk or juice?) and wait for an answer.
* Even when they attempt to say a word, praise them
*Name everything. (Point to everything around and say the name)
*Use simple signs (say the word and take your childs hands to help her do the signs)

Anyways these things helped us, and as I said they are little things you can do to help her at home.

I have three extremely energetic children one boy and two girls, ages 4.5, 3 and 22 months. They are all very intelligent. I have not yet met anyone with kids as energetic as mine, however I do not believe they have ADHD. I think they are just blessed with energy. My 22 month old has a small vocabulary and even though some doctors are concerned (others are not), I know that children learn and develop at different ages, so I am not worried. I think if your daughter is acting normal in every other way than she will probably start talking overnight when she is ready (that is what my 3 year old did). Try not to get too stressed over it. Just remember every child learns differently and at their own pace! Try to stay positive!

Ok hmmm thats a lot of information but two things I noticed right away is the concern of speak and possiable ADHD. Right now my son is 2 almost 3 years old. He has been working with Easter Seals the last year to work on speach. He still does not talk or mimick...he does use non-verbal ways of talking. He will start a PPCD program this coming school year when he turns 3. This is what I suggest reguarding speach....contact your local school district or elementry school to find out where a PPCD or speach delay program is in your area. They will do some tests to see where she is or enroll for 30 days. ( We did this for our eldest last year, he improved after two months. He went to school Monday through friday from 8 to 11am bus pick up, and also not required to be potty trained.)

Also about ADHD while it can not be completely diagnosed at a young age with out a history. ( some children have anxiety problems) I would suggest taking her to a Developmental Pedi' doctor....Ryan goes to Dr Harkins ( if you would like the number e-mail and there is also a Dr Fierro here in San Antonio) Ryan has much imporved much calmer,able to play or work actvities better that kind of thing.

...It is important to seek help right away, if you have strong concerns that way when kiddo starts school, the transition is much smoother.

God Bless
Also if you need any numbers or just wanna chat
feel free ____@____.com

All kids develop at different stages. ADHD cannot be diagnosed until at least 5 years old. We all worry if our kids are going to be behind the others if we fail in some way in their childhood years. I wouldn't worry about it. Keep doing what she likes, even if she says no, just talk about the page you're onsefcqa

Hi Nora, just wanted to let you know I have a daughter who's 5 and your experience shounds similar to ours.... you might want to ask either the ECI therapists or have her evaluated by an independent SLP, for verbal apraxia if they haven't already mentioned it (it's a motor planning disorder). The best way to descibe it is that it's like dyslexia but for speech. My daughter is very intelligent, independent and has no problem with her receptive speech... it's her expressive speech that's the issue... she knows what words she wants to say, but she really has to concentrate on putting them all together. And of course they get frustrated at times and lash out a bit in different ways. I'd recommend that you take a look at the book "The Late Talker". It gives great online resources and discusses some of the differences between just talking later (like Einstein did which I've heard from people since day one!), and if there might be another issue that can be addressed. Please don't let this scare you.... it's just one thing to consider, and if it is something like apraxia, the sooner they treat her correctly, the sooner she'll talk in that sweet little voice to you and all her friends! Take care! M. L.

From a teacher stand point, you may be dealing with something called 'dysnomia'. Then again, you may have a little Einstein on your hands - he didn't talk till he was 3.

My children (both boys) were lagging in vocabulary - my 4 year old didn't start using what I consider real sentences until about 2 months before his 4th birthday. Three months after he started, he won't stop talking - about the moon and it's phases, the difference in insects and spiders, what makes a car go, different kinds of trucks - the boy is insatiable. My 19 month old is not as far behind by the charts - he's 13 months solid talking, but he has a preschooler's vocabulary in sign.

I recommend that the two of you get some basic sign language going - it lets her communicate in words with you (thereby setting up a formal language structure, instead of pointing or pulling) without having to think of the word. If dysnomia is an issue at all, the sign language will help her brain form pathways another way. Once she signs, you can work on talking while signing, then eliminating the signing.

Another thing you can use is file folder games - I love them so much more than flashcards, for everything. Google the term if you haven't heard of them - you would want games that deal with associated words, colors, matching - see if you can get her to say (or sign) the word for what she's looking for.

If you have worries about your child than your more than likely right. There are lots of other programs out there that can help. There is the region 16 witch should be in your area too and they have testing for older children and have headstart programs. There is the school district that is suppost to help, they have a no child left behind. You could alo look into parents as teacher programs, and even contact ECI and have them connect you with more services in your area.

I am a Speech-Language Pathologist. We all have specialized training and many years of education to back up our professional recommendations. I suggest that you take your daughter back to the therapist that offered you services and get her therapy and suggestions for carry-over activities.

After the age of 3 the local school district is responsible for offering services. However, they have specific guidelines as there are many children in the schools who need/get services. SO, it's possible that she qualified for therapy with the original speech therapist and she many not qualify for school therapy services.

My 17 month old daughter has a vocabulary of over 75 words and uses 15 signs to get her needs met.

Sorry if this seems harsh but, I do 3 speech evaluations a week and do therapy for 20 children and I only work 3 days a week. The earlier you get services, the better your daughter's chances are for closer to age appropriate speech and language skills. Labels are necessary to receive proper services. That's just the way the world works.

Have you consulted a Neurologist?

Good Luck!

J.

Nora,

Although I did not have this problem with my 3 year old son,I can tell you that her not wanting you to read to her is normal. As you know at this age especially they want to do everything themselves. The best part about yalls storytime together is that she wants to take control and point out whats in the pictures. Use those opportunities to build her vocabulary, let her tell you what she sees and don't correct her when she mis names something just echo her with the correct word. It sounds like you are doing what you can just keep encouraging her to use her words. If she says, "milk" when she wants milk, get her to say "milk please" and build up to more milk please and so on. I am an Early Childhood/Child Development graduate and educator and I see this alot. Just read, read, read and talk to her about everything yall are doing while you are doing it, shopping, cooking, bathing, etc. She will catch up. Start to worry if this is still going on around 4. By this time if people outside of the family or school setting are unable to understand what she is saying then there is cause for concern. Good Luck and God Bless!

S., single mother of an amazing 3 1/2 year old son!

i just wanted to say that i had the same problem with with my son at that age. he is now 8 years old. i put him in daycare because i had to work and had no other choice at the time. it was on of those at home types, with a variety of age groups from newborn to 7 years old. but within a couple of weeks he began to speak with more words and the more he spoke the clearer they got. i am not saying that is what you need to put her in but sometimes it just takes interaction with other children instead of adults to help them along. they just feel more comfortable conversing first with them someone closer to their age than with us. it has nothing to do with us. but in time she will be more comfortable to freely just talk. right now she is still exploring. so just be patient and give her some time. she will just fine.

i am a sahm of three: 8yr son, 7 yr daughter, and 4 1/2 year daughter, husband is on the road 11 months of the year.

Every child develops at their own pace. You can't rush them. My suggestion is to just enjoy her. As far as the speech therapist, most of them don't get paid if they aren't working. If you don't feel then need then don't take her. I would suggest that you take what interests her and go with that. It wasn't until recently (3 years) that my son found an interest in books and now we read constantly. And I think it's great that those other moms have such wonderful children. Your child is wonderful too. You can take her for long nature walks and will enjoy the day she's an Olympian. It's ok for a girl to be more athletic and still be a wonderful girl. Focus on what she is interested in and she will learn more. You will probably have more fun too!

Please remember that we don't need to compare our children to other children. Life has way to many stresses for that. Find a group of children that your child (and you) are comfortable with. You'll be surprised at how your child will grow. Maybe some day to be an artist, athlete, musician or president. Each child is different and has too many gifts to give us as long as we encourage them according to who they are and we delight in that fact.

And yes, I've experienced the exact same thing you have and when I let go of other "mom's and my parents" expectations then my son and I started having fun! and he started learning more.

my experience is going to be a little different from yours... but i'll tell you about it anyways. my son is now 10 yrs old. when he was 2 yrs old he had maybe 5-10 words in his vocabulary. the doctors said "don't worry, he'll talk when he's ready." he was a very lovable, quiet child. he wasn't overly energetic for a boy... he wouldn't sit and watch tv (which was fine with me), he wouldn't sit still for books to be read to him, he just wanted to play with his brother and preferred to be outside. at 2 1/2 yrs old i contacted a place in waco called Klara's children's center. they sent out a speech pathologist and someone to do a hearing screening. he passed the hearing screening so the speech pathologist started teaching him sign language so he could communicate. the only thing is klara's only deals with kids under 3 yrs old. so when he turned 3 we put him in head start. then we moved to waco and he went to pre-k. by 4 he had maybe 50-75 words in his vocabulary. he was getting better but no one could tell me why he couldn't/wouldn't talk. then we noticed he had REALLY bad breath. we were brushing his teeth 3 times a day and having him rinse with mouth wash. i took him to his pediatrician and she told me i just wasn't brushing his teeth right and to have him use mouthwash too... i told her i already was. this went on for a couple of months. finally the school called and complained. his breath had made a kid physically sick! i told the school nurse to call his dr because she was still telling me the same thing. later that day i had a referal to an ears, nose, and throat specialist. i took him in and the dr said he needed his adnoids removed. so we did it and after the procedure my son could HEAR!!!! he had passed i don't know how many hearing tests but apparently he was stone deaf in one ear. when they removed his adnoids it released the pressure on his eardrum and it was amazing. you could tell the difference within a week!!! he has had speech classes every year at school since he was 2 and he can now speak perfectly fine. i asked the ent dr what happened and he said my son should have had tubes put in his ears at 18mos. it was an oversite by his dr at that time.
since then, my son has also been diagnosed with add... he is not hyperactive... he just can't concentrate. it is nothing for us to be up till 10pm doing his homework (having started as soon as he gets home from school). we lived in waco and i refuse to put him on medication and he just seemed to be getting lost at school. the teachers couldn't pay the amount of attention to him he needed (because of the amount of kids in the classes) so we moved to a small town. now there are only 6 kids in his class and he doesn't have as many problems. he gets the personal one on one attention he needs. and he is making good grades and making friends for the first time too.

My oldest daughter is 2 1/2 and she is exactly the same way. I always felt like it was because I also do not "narrate" the things I do through the day, although once I realized that I have been trying really hard to change it. For myself, I believe that it is just her personality. She talks when she wants and, since she also has a HUGE independent streak, she will not talk when she doesn't want. When she does talk it is in two maybe three word sentences. She also takes me by the hand and shows me what she wants. At that point I make sure I narrate what I'm doing and what she wants and leave it at that. I figure with repetition she will get it. If you have talked to the pediatrician about it and everything checks out, don't worry. She will talk when she is ready. She will not be 10 and still not talking.