N.,
It's a big decision to make to stay home or keep working. I also had a great job with the postal service and had to make the decision whether to work or stay at home two years ago. I had a had a 5 month old baby girl, a just turned 3 year old, a 6 year old and a 7 year old at the time that my husband and I were juggling shifts around to care for them even using babysitters. We decided that it was beneficial for me to stay at home and care for the kids. I was overly stressed at my job. I felt a sense of relief at first when I quit. I was ready to be done with the stresses of work and finding childcare and juggling shifts with my husband. But to be honest, I began to feel out of whack for the first 6-8 months. I did not prepare myself for the change in lifestyle that I had chosen. I became unorganized because with the kids home everyday all day, the house was not as clean and organized as before when all we did was basically sleep in the house. I lost a few friends over the decision to stay at home because I was told it was not fair to them that I quit to stay at home and they could not. And the friends that I did keep, were so busy working that it was hard to keep in contact with them. Also with me staying at home full time, the husband decided that if he was working overtime at work then he stopped helping out at home with the house work and with the kids. So it began feeling like I was a single mom all over again with no life and with an extra kid, my husband. I started to get very depressed at times and that first year throughout the winter, everyone in my family was not able to get a flu shot due to shortages and we were all sick alot that winter. So I have to say that my experience at first was NOT what I had expected or hoped for. And even thought it was nice to save all that money for not paying a babysitter, sometimes it felt easier just to have someone else put up with all of the hassles with the kids and then you get to pick them up at night and enjoy them. With staying home it is 24 hours a day and 7 days a week.
HOWEVER, once I got a hold on with my situation, I began to schedule my days better. A friend told me that if you get behind, just place ONE HOUR in each day to REALLY work and get something done that needs to be done and soon all will be caught up. That is what I have done! And it works! I also started to put myself in the category of needing to be taken care of. I would do everything else for my kids and my husband and always leave myself out. And now, I do something for myself in each day and take time out of each week to do something for myself away from the husband and the kids. And when he is not available to watch the kids, I get a babysitter. My dad is usually there to help me out for those times. I usually go shopping for a couple hours or meet with friends for margaritas or ice cream or even just to sit and chat over ice water. Because remember, staying at home to be a homemom is a 24/7 job. It never ends. You cannot just leave your work at work and go home and vegetate. There is always something to be done at home and somewhere to go....especially as your kids get older and into school activities. On the upside of all of this, I ABSOLUTELY LOVE BEING HOME WITH MY KIDS!!!!!! It was the first time with my last kid that I was able to be a homemom. I had worked with all other three. And I loved being able to see my kids grow and do new things. My kids are closer to me now and I LOVE it! I get to read with them, play games, and just watch them be them everyday. It's a terrific feeling to be needed and much more rewarding than any job I have had in my life! Now, I get to go to school for their literacy groups, school parties, and have free time during the mornings when my preschooler is in school to play on the computer and do the work that I never seem to be able to do when the younger kids are around. I do miss the interaction with adults on a daily basis - even when all you did was say hello to people. But I've made some friends circles and keep in touch with those people. They are just as busy with their lives as well so it's understood that if we don't get together for a few weeks, it's ok! On a last note, the decision to stay at home and quit my high paying job was one of the very best decisions I have made in my life outside of having all of my children! It's up to you, look into your heart and see what you desire. Just remember that staying at home takes committment and desire and it's some days not all it's cracked up to be, but in the long run a great successful life changing decision. Good luck! ~T.