Sooo... I have become a SAHM about 8 months ago. I have a 7 year old that is in a 12 month school and a 3 (almost 4 year old). My little one and I are home together while hubby is at work and older one is at school. Hubby at this point is gone 7 days a week and of course the older child is home on weekends and when he is 'off track' for school. This week I am babysitting a friends little boy that is 2, and my older son has been home for 3 weeks from school. So my question... my 3 year old seems to turn into an alien when other people are around. He is a PURE JOY when it is just him and I. When my son gets home... complete chaos. I know some of it may in part be simply sibling rivalry, however, 90% of the time they are at each others throat. Normal? With the 2 year old here this week, my younger one is going insane 'sharing' me... and of course any toy the little boy touches, my son freaks out! I figure he needs more time with other children, but.... with that not exactly being at my fingertips as a choice.. what do I do? I need to figure out how to get him to understand that I need to be 'shared'...! Oh yeah, and when Dad is home... the moment he starts to speak to me, my little guy of course has the most important thing EVER to share with me... "Mommy look.. i have a hole in my sock" type of thing..Feeling a bit torn in a hundred different directions here! What to do... what to do??
This sounds pretty normal to me. My boys are angels when they're separated from each other, but the moment they're back together, all hell breaks loose! I think it's just three year old boys. Don't worry too much, and try to maintain a consistent and firm (but not unkind) style of discipline. He'll grow out of it by the time he's 35.
Maybe you could try a class of some kind where you can work towards dropping him of for an hour or so. It may help to find a playgroup or other activity where he can play with other kids. Near us the library has free programs and YMCA had moderately priced ones. I put my son in preschool 3 mornings a week at 3. If the weather is good just playing at the park or playground he can learn some social skills (give him a little space to play with the other kids and work things out before you rush in to help).
My kids are 3 years apart (2 and 5 now). My son wasn't so clingy with me but my 2 year old daughter is. My husband said she freaked out when I went to the store for an hour without her (but not every time). In our family we try and mix it up a bit so my husband will do bedtime or something with my daughter and I'll take time with my son. That may be hard if your husband is working crazy hours. You could ask you son to put away his favorite special toys before another child visits.
Hello Mama,
It sounds to me as if your little guy doesn't know how to act around others. I'm not sure if he is in a preschool program or not, but kids do much more than just play for a couple hours.
The preschool age range is a time to learn how to behave in social situations. A preschooler will watch other kids and interact, making friends. Preschoolers are very social and peer dependant, because it's a natural part of their development.
I would suggest enrolling him in a preschool program, (if he isn't already). If he is in preschool, ask the teacher how his social development has progressed and see if there are any issues that need addressing. Alsp, set-up more play dates to increase socialization at home. Go to the park more so he learns how to interact with new children too.
I bet you'll see a huge difference once he learns some social cues. A well socialized preschooler will be less likely to be a "follower" in grade school.
Good Luck
R.
It could be sibling rivalry and fighting for attention for mommy. It could also be that the kids are having trouble with the major change in the routine. Some kids don't cope as well with changes, especially if there isn't a transition period and a new established schedule and routine to take the place of the old one. If you don't have an hour-by-hour schedule that you can print out on a daily block calendar and put on the wall or fridge for the kids to see and check off, you might want to consider it.
