To Listen to the Lawyer or Not.

Why on earth would you blame an attorney for telling you to move? You are the one who chooses where you live. Your attorney probably told you his or her OPINION - that it would be OK and even ideal from a LEGAL perspective for you to move, given all the custody issues, etc. That doesn't mean he made you move. You chose that.

So to answer your question, you should listen to you. You should take the advice of people you trust, weigh out all the best options, and decide accordingly.

Don't blame others for choices you make.

If you don't trust your attorney, find a different one. And stop asking the attorney for life changing, geographical advice. He is there to be your lawyer, and he will advise you whether what YOU WANT TO DO is legal or a good idea from a legal perspective.

ETA: I think people, Jo included, are missing my point. Here is what I am saying: Say Susie wants to move, but she is in the middle of a custody battle. She goes her attorney and says " I want to move in with my mom 2 hours away because she has money, stability, can help us, etc" Attorney is going to tell you whether, from a LEGAL perspective, this is a good idea or not. He is not there to be your therapist or your best friend. He is there to tell you what is best for your case. People look too much to attorneys to help them make all life decisions when facing a court battle. Yes, you should ALWAYS run anything by your attorney before doing it to see HOW IF AT ALL it will affect your case, but don't rely on your attorney for your HAPPINESS after making that decision.

Best wishes.

D. I know this is hard it was horrible for me! At this point I am going to stop giving advice to you and only support because I am so outside looking in without all the details. I would stop listening to so many people and pray and listen for answers at this point. I would say follow your heart. I would like to say that you have to start to write things down for the judge, if your son said he did not want to go back write the day and time he said that down, if he is doing better in school obtain letters from his teachers ect...

I am sorry your are enduring this!

Print that email of you letting him know where you were.

You should do what is in the best interest of your son. If he is thriving where you are with your mom, then make that home and find a job and keep moving into your new future and don't look back.

Only you should know deep within yourself which way to turn and go and do and be. I'm a woman of faith so I pray and listen and wait for the Peace of God to determine if the decision I have made is one that will work for me and my family. My best advice for you would be to pursue God with everything you've got and the rest will definitely work itself out because He loves you.

You sound like you have put a lot of thought into how you want your life to be and how you would like your son to live. So I'd say to listen to yourself. You aren't looking for someone to wave a magic wand and make everything better so listen to yourself. Your lawyer doesn't have to live with the choices of his guidance. Do what you think is best for yourself and your child.

What to do depends solely on the WHOLE situation but it is never wise to just up and move two hours away unless/until the court tells you. If your attorney told you otherwise (without specific legal reasons that you haven't stated here), I think you should find a new attorney.

I am confused - you say you listened to your lawyer, moved in with your mom, and everyone is happier. But then you say the lawyer gave you bad advice?

Bottom line: What is healthiest for you and your child right now? And once you decide what that is, run it by your lawyer and see if it will affect your custody battle or if there will be any other legal ramifications.

And as sweet tooth said, find a different lawyer if you think this one is giving you bad advice.

First your son changed because you changed. You would not believe how kids react off our stress even when we think we are sheltering them from it.

You don't have a good lawyer but he is better than nothing.

You need to accept that the court will keep things normal for your son during the divorce which means keeping him in town with your husband. This is during the divorce mind you. If it is best for both you and your son to live in the town where you have support from your family then you should be working on making it permanent. Get a job, find a place to live, show you can support and nurture your son there. You can still get joint custody there if you show it is in your son's best interest. Right now it isn't. He needs stability and that means putting down roots, not living with and off your mom.

I have to disagree with sweettooth, it is your lawyers job to advise you on what the court does or does not like. I did everything my attorney told me but then I also asked specifically how will the court view this.