To Have... or Not to Have? That Is the Question

Totally up to you and what you can handle...Personally did it three times! While the sleepless nights happen...they are short lived in the grand scheme of things...I love my babies! Ultimately you will decide what's best for you.

I never felt the deisre for a second - for me, it was one and done.

We have our one little munchkin, and we both knew she was all we needed to complete our family.
For us in many ways one child was the perfect fit.

Do what is best for you and your family.

Having a sibling does not guarantee they'll grow up to like one another... my husband has 7 and they rarely, if ever, talk.

If it's about the hugs and kisses, borrow a friend's baby for a couple of hours. :-)

I am an only child and I cannot imagine life any other way! That said, my daughter was going to be an only child as well... that is until, well, the Christmas party... so now we're going to be blessed with a little boy.

Whatever you decide, it'll be your life experience--enjoy it!! Neither one is better than the other.

This is such a personal question and there is no right answer! I just wanted to let you know I struggled with the same thoughts. When our son was 5 we had his little sister and wow, I'm so glad I did it. What a wonderful addition to our family! :) But if we had not had her we would still be happy - of course we would not know what we were missing! At first I did have a lot of guilt that I could not just do whatever my son wanted whenever he wanted. But over time this went away. It's a joy to watch siblings play together and make each other laugh. It's wonderful to be able to put all your time and resources into one child but if you have a 2nd you will make it work. It's tiring to go through the sleepless nights again but this time around I don't really stress about it like I did before. I know it's all so temporary I guess. Whatever you choose will be the right decision.

One and done. While I would not change a thing, I never had a desire for a child but DH truly did. We agreed to try for a year (I was 39 at the time) and bingo - 2 weeks later - preggers. DS is 5-1/2 and he has never asked for a sibling. I think I would feel horribly guilty about all the attention he would sacrifice if we had another. I also think about our impact on the planet and believe one is a more responsible number.

I didn't read your prior responses but I doubt I'm repeating. I'm an only child and hate it. I only have a cousin who is 10 years younger than me, my second cousin is 27 years younger than me. They both live in CA, I'm in AZ. I see them about twice per year. The only immediate family I have is my mom, hubby and my 2 kids. My kids will never have cousins. I don't have nieces/nephews, etc. I wanted to have 4-6 kids myself but married the first time at age 30, kids at 32 and 35 and financially and physically couldn't have any more. I do have a wonderful step daughter now, but she is spec needs and will never marry. My daughter insists she is never marrying and having kids which only leaves my little son who gives me hope as he says he's going to have 10 kids!!! All this being said, I have regrets of not having more and am even considering possibly adopting older kids in a few years. And finally, once my mom is gone, I won't have any family left except my 2 kids. Very sad. And I'm not sure my 2 kids will even know their cousins as they all live in CA. Although they see them on occasion, not sure how they will be when they get older. I also have to mention that a coworker had her brother killed in a car accident so now at age 40, she is an "only" child. this happened over 20 years ago and its still difficult for her and her parents as well. So those are just some thoughts from someone who is an only child and hates it...when you get older especially...

I knew I wanted more than one kid but I knew there was no way I could handle them close together! Me first was 2 months shy of 3 years old when my second was born. He was old enough to be less time consuming. My third my boys were 8 & 5 when she was born. I don't think it would have been good if they were any closer.
I am glad I have more than 1. There were times when it really was tempting to only have the one when he was little. He's always been my handful! But when he got a little older it suddenly felt right. I got pregnant pretty fast after we decided it was time.
All of a sudden you'll know it is time if having more than one is in your future :)

I always wanted another child so my baby girl wouldn't be an only child. I finally did when she was 14.
All my memories growing up are of my brothers. When I think back to family vacations, holidays, and what not, I think about all the stuff I got into with my brothers. I'm sure my parents were there too! But they dont show up much when I look back at my life. Its always my brothers. And now, they are grown and married to women that are my absolute best friends. And they gave me adorable nieces and nephews. My mom is gone now, but I still have my brothers, so, I'm not alone. What if she just had one child, well, I woudn't be here. Niether would my kids. I say go for it. If you wait until you can afford it, you'll never have another.

When I was younger I had two sets of two - My daughter and step daughter were the same age (2) when we married - then down the line we had 2 together - a boy and a girl. It was fun - the older 2 had seperate friend and together friends and they were good friends so there was always someone for them to play with. The younger 2 worshipped each other until they were in their early teens and then it was pure hell - we couldn't leave them alone together. But now they are back to worshipping each other again (they are in their early 20's now).
Fast forward to today - we have our grandboy full time since infancy and it was really fun to just have one. As he got older it seemed like I should adopt another one just for him to have a friend to play with besides me. But now that he is old enough to go outside and play with all the neighbor hood boys I am glad that I didn't. He is my running buddy..!!
All that being said - both are great - only's and two's!!!

I have two kids but they are 10.5 yrs apart. I could never had handled two little ones close in age! If you have the sanity and can afford it go for it mama!

I felt the same as you do before I had my 2nd. Honestly even after I got pregnant, I loathed the idea of having to survive another infancy. But- when you're thinking about going through something, it's a lot harder to imagine surviving it than it is to actually survive it. That's how life goes. Today, I simply can not imagine my life without my smallest angel. I'm so glad I have two- they keep each other busy, they always have a friend to talk to. They are BFFs. My oldest told me that sisters are friends that God gives you. :)
Now, I'm struggling with the idea of having a 3rd. I always wanted to have a 3rd before I turned 30, but I'm 28 now and not loving the idea, for all the reasons you listed above!
Good luck!

I don't know where I would be today without my brother and sister. One is my best friend, the other my soul mate!
I wanted my sd to have siblings and for my oldest son to have a sibling that was close in age and in the same home. My boys are 4 years apart and love each other very much. My oldest teaches his brother all sorts of stuff and my the little one idolizes his big brother.

Hello from a mom with one son. Long story short; we went through invitro to have our child. It was a long two year process with an ectopic preg., insemination and my last straw...invitro. We were blessed with a healthy, handsome son. We tried to have another one, but I couldn't bring myself to go through all of what we went through...again. If it would have been possible we'd have another one. With that said, I'm thankful. I often wondered what it would be like with two. When I see a mom with two or more, I smile to myself and say how she's so lucky. But, you know what?
I'm lucky, too. As our son has grown before our eyes,.We comtemplated adopting and never acted upon it. We've talked our son and asked, would you like a brother or a sister? He always says, "I'm fine, mom". Then, we watch him watch others play and often wonder ...is he fine? We receive compliments on him all the time. I guess he is fine. However, we'll teach him the importance of family (cousins) and friends.
You didn't say how old your child is, I'd consider that as a reason? Do you work fulltime? How does your husband feel about having one or two? Don't think of the cost, the sleepless nights, the sicknesses and the tantrums, we'd all never have them. Think of giving your child a sibling and how they'll grow up together and you add to your family. Your child can help you entertain him/her. I guess if I could have...I would have.
And if you stick to your one, it'll be fine. It's all what we make of it.
Good luck and best wishes in your decision.

Carrie T summed it up perfectly - we had the EXACT situation (lol too funny) and I have no regrets. Something about seeing the two of them together just makes it all good.