To Have or Not to Have a House

Hi! We are just renting a duplex in Plya Del rey and even tho it is small, we love it! We have 2 br and an office but we are TTC our 2nd baby so pretty soon it might be way too small. The thing is, is that it is so close to a great new park and the beach...we can wqalk to every day. We have a nice back yard and when something breaks, we just call the land lord to come and deal with it. Since our rent isnt as much as a mortgage, we can still spend money on stuff and go do fun things. We are kind of looking for a place to buy, but we aren't all that motivated to leave this situation. Sometimes I think that we should own our own home but then I think WHY??? Maybe when our kids get older and we need to be in a really good school district and have a nicer real home that they will remember growing up in...For now, though, the benefits of renting are just gtreater. I think you have to just weigh the pros and cons of buying vs renting for you. Good luck and let us know what happens!

Hi
I feel that to have a child in an apartment is totally fine. I know it feels cramped sometimes but if you can deal with less space for the sake of being on the the westside than it's worth it. My BIL and his family lives in corona and it's VERY far especially if communiting from BH. Having a house is great (we own one now and use to live in a condo) but it also comes with some minuses that people don't tell you. Everything cost money! When something breaks you have to fix it. You can't just call your landlord. There's a lot of maintenance and it's a money pit. Don't get me wrong. We love having a yard but it has it's pros and cons. I live in CC and I've been on the westside for quite awhile and when we were first looking we thought about the valley and that was even too far. Being closer to our friends and family was more important then having a big house. We have a 2nd baby now and the 2 boys will be sharing a room. Anyway my point is just you need to see what's most important to you. A big house or happiness with your friends and fam? Trust me, the commute wi wear on your husband and take a toll ok your relationship. I did it for a year commuting to irvine and it was hell! Sorry for the long response. Good luck! Feel free to email me back if you have more questions and need to talk about it!

Hi Brigett,

My advice to you is: Be content with what you have. Do not make your husband drive 2 HOURS BACK AND FORTHE TO HIS WORK. iT WILL damage your relaionship. He will be too tired to in the evening. Not having any energy left to spend time with his child. Also, I feel you aren't so unhappy where you are. It's just the space that is bothering you. You also can think about rearanging your apparment so that your child doesn't have to sleep in your bedroom/ You can put your child to bed when it's his bedtime in yourroom and once you and your husband go to sleep, then put him in a bed that you put in the study room of your husband or inthelivingroom. Also you can put the studyroom of your husband in a corner of the livingroom and then you have a room for the child avalable. When Daday need not to be disturbed you go for a walk to the park or you play with your child in his bedroom. That gives you queality time with your child and your husband can work on his desk in the livingroom. After a while the child will know that he has not to be wild in the livingroom while Dady or Mammy are busy on the computer . It's up to you to teach him respect for his mommy and daddy. Your problem can be solved like that.I will assure you that you will have a more close family like that than having a lot of space and no communication between each other.
I always lived in a very small place. My child s 20 years old now. I never could aford a big house.I do not regret to have to live in small places. When friends of my daughter come to visit. I mean friends who have a big house with all the luxuoury in it. They come here to my small , old place and say: oh, I like this place, when I ever go to move away from my oparents I want a p^lace like this it's so cousy, it feels so home here. So Brigett Think twice before you move your child is still young and you have a park next door. You have a good man comming home what more do youwant. You have all your happyness in that little space.

lET ME KNOW HOW YOU ARE DOING; i4M ALWAYS WILLING TO LISTEN!!!!!!!!!

____@____.com

HI, Bridget,

Boy, do I have an opinion on this subject! First of all you need to put your priorities in order. I have always thought and felt that being with the family, being able to have dinner together, actually cook dinner after a hard day of work and taking my kids to play dates, and baseball practice and soccer practice after school, and even making time to attend school functions was BY FAR more important than that second FULL bathroom or that fourth bedroom or that formal dinning room, etc., etc. THIS WILL ALL COME WITH TIME. You don't run before you walk. But this time with your young family is crucial and you will never get it back. And more than likely that FOURTH BEDROOM will come and that THIRD FULL BATHROOM will be there some time in the future. I have always worked full time and was blessed with a job, court reporter, that has afforded me the time and money to be able to work close to home. For the last 23 years I have NEVER driven the freeway to work and my kids have never, ever missed a practice or school activity because of the home and work location. Take is slow and try to enjoy the time now. Everything else will come. I grew up with five sisters and have never had a room to myself or even a bed for that matter. I loved being with my sisters in the same room, and there was even a time when all six of us shared one bathroom. It was hilarious when we would all be getting ready to go "out on the town" on Friday night to the high school football games or other events. There's something to be said, actually on both sides, for living in small quarters. You learn to GIVE and TAKE, share, become closer and friends and I've always thought...even if I were able to have my own room, I wouldn't do it. I would miss my sisters late night talks.

Oh, and as for the work part... yes, when I first began working, I rented a house for SEVERAL years, that was two bedrooms and quite small, with hardly any ameneties, i.e. dishwasher. But I had time with my children, and never complained that I was too tired or I got home too late to be able to do anything. I heard my friends always saying that they had to travel an hour to get home IN TRAFFIC and was totally exhausted just from the commute to really put any energy in doing family things. Yes, they had the more beautiful house, but I felt I had the happier and more balanced family life. So, remember. As our parents slowly worked to where they are now, we in this generation sometimes forget that it's really important to walk and then run.

Why not try south? Redondo Beach is not as expensive as Manhattan and Hermosa. Torrance is also affordable, with some great areas (South Torrance, Hollywood Riviera)

I am surprised you are looking our in Corona when prices have really come down in the beach cities.On the other note, get a house foryourself, not for your child. Your child will be fine as long as you are fine. If living in an apartment makes you unhappy and affects your mood, then change your situation!

Lots of Love,
Linda

Hi B.,

First off, Corona to BH is a horrendous, awful commute. I was born in LA, but spent my teen years growing up next door to Corona. Back then it was nice, not much traffic. These days it's ridiculous. Seriously. The I-15 fwy is about as bad as the 101 - a parking lot, almost any time of the day. The 91 fwy is gawd-awful, I won't go near it. His commute will easily be 2 hours each way and that will make him one tired, cranky papa (believe me, my Dad was commuting to Azusa from there and he was NOT a joy to be around most of the time!).

Also, the vibe in the Inland Empire is MUCH different than LA. Don't get me wrong, I loved spending my tweener & teen years on horse back riding the trails there. But that particular area has gotten so over crowded. The fwy system and streets were not designed for that many people. Heck, they've built huge housing tracks where there used to be dairy farms only 10 years ago! Plus the cost of houses out there is not any cheaper than the SFV or the south bay. Plus it's that much farther from the beach! :-)

My husband and I lived in a one bedroom apartment for years until I got pregnant. Then we rented a house in Burbank and eventually bought a house out here late last year. For us it was time to leave apartment living in Hollywood. That wasn't were we wanted to raise our child. It worked out for us and we're very happy we made the move. Yes, I do miss my friends "over the hill," but they really aren't that far away and I've made new mom friends where I'm living now.

I wish you luck on your decision. And do keep in mind how much stress a long commute will be on your husband. It really took a toll on my parents marriage - just FYI. You should find a place you are both happy with; be it an apartment or house.

C.

Hi B.

I definately sympathize with your situation. At some point your little one will definately need his own space and you, your's. It's really hard when finances are tight and I've had that problem myself. Then I found a wonderful company that is helping me create the extra money I need. Have you considered starting your own business from home and being able to save towards a house that you like and is in a convenient area for your husband?

It's really not that unrealistic and is possible. If you want, send me a message and I would be happy to discuss this with you further and show you that being able to afford a house really can become a reality for you. :)

have u looked over in the pasadena area? i own a 3.5 bedroom house 2 baths..i love having a yard..and all the space..garage..basement..i have a craftsman..u can find better deals if you go inland a bit.. try Montecito Heights perhaps? or Eagle Rock? i grew up in a house had my own room...i'm thankful for that..my son has his own room and a playroom. Though there is some comfort in having your son right near u b/c i get worried even though i have the monitor on..him being in another room ..you know?

Hi there neighbor,
your little one is too little to REALLY appreciate his own space, I'm sure he would much rather be with mommy and daddy. I live in Windsor Hills (near the Fox Hills Mall) and commute to BH for work I cannot imagine your husband driving 2 hours to work. Be content with your cozy space for now, remember convenience to a place of employment is much more important than a back yard :) Homes are just too expensive around here....

We were in the same situation last year. We lived in Santa Monica for 11 years in an apartment but wanted a house and couldn't afford the westside. In August last year we bought a 3 bedroom house in the Lake Balboa (West Van Nuys) area. It's great having the space and 2 yards, no noise from the neighbors, plenty of parking etc. The only drawbacks are the summer heat 3 months of the year, and it's only about 13 miles to Santa Monica (where I work) but heavy traffic most days. HOWEVER, we are glad we made the move and love our house. It's a lovely area, Lake Balboa park is huge, loads of families, BBQs, playground etc. Prices are great now, if you can afford it now is the time to look.
Good luck.

B.,
we left our home (200sqf) in the SFV to live in in an apartment in NYC on 3 different occasions when our Daughter was 1, 2 and 3 years old and it was terrible, she couldn't be a kid and run and jump around for fear of the neighbors downstairs. I was always shusshing her when she cried or had a bad day. Every year I couldn't wait to get back to my home where my kid could be a kid, play in her own room and play in the backyard with her sandbox, sidewalk chalk, tricycle, etc. I was also very unhappy being a small apartment. We moved there 3 times for several months because my husband had work there. Being a parent means sacrifice, maybe Corona is not the place for you, but there are other areas in LA where there is affordable housing. Your Son needs his own room now, maybe your husband can put his office in your bedroom so that your Son can have his own room. THis is the time to start teaching your Son responsibility for his own items and cleaning his room.

Re space, do whatever feels right to you. Re Corona, why there? There are tons of houses in the San Fernando valley that might work, and will make you feel more like you're in a place you're familiar with. Your husband could cut over Beverly Glen and be in BH. Check out West Van Nuys, there are some really cool 40's ranch houses that are reasonably priced. Good luck.

Ugh...why Corona? LOL! Why not try the Valley...that would be a really easy commute to BH. Or the South Bay. I grew up in Harbor City....right between Torrance and Lomita. Even houses in Hollywood or Eagle Rock or Highland Park are coming down in price.

We live in a two bedroom apt with our 16 month old, with no plans of moving anytime soon. We co-sleep with him, so it's not a problem at all. The only thing I really long for is a yard for him. But we frequent the parks around here. I agree with the quote you posted. It's mainly an American thing that people think a baby needs it's own room and that a family needs so much space. The more space you have, the more junk you collect!

hi b.,
mmm... hard one :-) just moved from quaint 3 bedroom home in long beach to 600sq flat in seoul, korea. we love it! but i hope to return to our yellow house sometimes... important factors to consider in making that move:
-social life (who do you hang with?)
-commondities (what do you like to do?)
-YOU (vs. hubby, no offense but you exist as well)
-other areas (long beach is wonderful and more affordable that los angeles even if its reputation is not great)
good luck and have fun :-)
a.

you should look for a home in long beach. we lived in santa monica and looked all around for a home but it was too expensive. we also tried venice, the marina, playa, westchester but finally found an affordable home in a nice neighborhood in long beach. Corona - 4 hours in traffic Yuck! you'd be suprised by the amount of parks in the LBC. Spend some time around Los Alamitos bay, belmont shore, seal beach and downtown. we are so glad we moved here. check it online at www.showmehome.com good luck.

have you looked in Westchester? There are great affordable houses over by Howard Hughes or just off La Tijera. It doesn't sound like corona is a good option if you don't want to leave the westside and your husband isn't thrilled about the commute...I don't blame him.

Hi B.-
My husband and I are in a similar boat. When our son turned 6 mos, we turned our office into the baby's room, and the office went out in the dining room, which isn't the best space but will have to do. I am feeling the itch to have a yard, I love to garden and need the outside space to keep me sane. Plus, the parks near our fourplex are small and have bums roaming around. My husband works in Culver City but we have begun the house search up near Pasedena/Mount Washington area, where I have a few friends, and the homes are more affordable. The thought of DH commuting breaks my heart, but he is sick of the cramped space and city living, too.
The thing that is motivating us is the housing market. This will be our first home, and we really want to get in on the low market.
My girlfriend lives down the street from me with her husband, 5 year old girl and 9 mos boy all sharing the same one bedroom apartment. They are a loving and close family. I don't have any judgement about living in close quarters with your children, though I'm sure that givin the opportunity, most families would welcome a little more space. After all, we are not talking about going for a 5 bedroom monstrosity on 5 acres (though that would be concidered normal in, say, Montana) we just need a little more breathing room, and our husbands deserve a supportive work space where they can thrive.
The commuting is going to be tough. Corona seems so far away, is there any way you can stay a bit closer to the City. Is a cheaper house worth the missed time with you husband? We will both need to weigh these questions.
We just went to talk to a Morgage guy last week, a friend of a friend,a surprisingly sweet older man with lovely wife (we met in his home). His advice to us was to make sure to have enough space to grow into. "You know," he said looking directly at me,"a room of your own." He's right, I think. It's time for us to make a move and grow into a bigger life.
Bless your mess,
J.

Hi B.,

I think apartment living is just fine for kids, but I also understand the urge for more space, yard, etc. I would just suggest thinking about the quality of life you have in your current location too. Do you have good friends there? are there other children your son plays with regularly? are there activities specific to that community that you would really, really miss?

When I was pregnant we decided to renovate a house we own in Pasadena and move from the place we were renting in West LA. We love the house, hiking in the mountains here, we're finally gardening again, etc. BUT... my two closest friends had babies around the same time I did and they live very close to our old place. And I have really missed having them closer by for more frequent visits to talk mom stuff, let the kids play, etc.

In the end, it was the right move for us and the pros of the house outweighed the cons of being further from friends. Pasadena is different than the Marina, but it is a great community (as is Eagle Rock) and close to hiking, gardens, good activities for kids. And housing is much less expensive. Might be worth checking out.

Best of luck with your decision,
K.