It took my husband and I 5 years of trying before eventually having to do IVF to have our daughter who is now 2 1/2 years old. We had to try IVF again to have our next children. This time twins who are 6 1/2 months. My husband is happy with 3 children and I feel really blessed to have 3 wonderful, healthy kids. We have to decide whether not to save the remaining embryos or to donate them to science. I am on the fence and can't decide wheter we should try to have more kids or just be happy with what we have. Financially more kids would definately put a strain on an already tight budget. I was hoping to get advice on how to feel content with what we have.
Hi,
I think 3 is a good number, I sometimes I think maybe one more but, now that my girls are teenagers, financially it's much more expensive then when they were little. Clothes, School Dances, Sports, Yearbooks are now $100.00...just a little thought....I know just one more would be a strain....either decision its yours and children are blessing!
M.
You need to ask your self why you want more children to really answer this question. For some, they feel sad when their children start to grow up, they are loosing their baby. They are always going to feel this way when their children are no longer babies no matter how many babies they have. For yourself, I would imagine that having so much difficulty and having to go to such lengths to get pregnant would cause pregnancy to be a huge focal point in your life. It’s taken center stage of your emotions for quite a while now. It’s a hard thing to go through, but such a wonderful accomplishment when you get pregnant. You may have to grieve the loss of that difficult process and it may be hard for you to let all that go. If all that were not apart of your life would you want more than 3 children? Have you always wanted a large family? Do your husband and your other children want to face the hardships involved with this? These are complex questions. I wish you the best.
You don't say how old you are. Not that it really matters but if you are in your 20's, I say hold off on donating them.
Your twins are young. My second child is 3.5 years old and my husband and I have gone back and forth since he was about 9mos old on whether or not we were going to try for a 3rd. So basically, what I am saying is how you guys feel right now, may not be how you feel months or years down the road. Yes, you are lucky and blessed to have 3 healthy babies but that doesn't mean you can't have more. If one of you were sure that you didn't want anymore, than I'd probably go with that, but since you are both going back and forth, why not wait 6mos or so and re-visit the topic?
Saying all of that, if I were in your shoes.. I would concentrate on what you have - the twins will be crawling soon if not already, then walking, then running! Imagine being prego during all that! Wears me out just thinking about it! LOL!! I know it's been done, but it can't be easy!
Best wishes whatever you decide!
M.
We went through this when deciding whether or not to go for #3. You have to realize that once you decide not to have any more there will ALWAYS be sort of a "mourning period" in which you have to say good-bye to the idea of no more babies. This will happen after 1,2, or 5 children. It is because you are forever putting that possibility to rest and I think that no matter what the situation you will be a little bit sad. That being said, if you can truely imagine your family with another little one and feel like something is "missing" then by all means, try for another. I am sure you will figure out the money situation should that be the case. One more thing to add, since I just saw your "about me" - you need to realize that once your daughter (and your twins) get into school, sports etc it is a whole different ball game. My 4 yr old son (my oldest) started preschool 3 weeks after I gave birth to our third baby and getting a child to and from school on time adds a whole other element to the equation. People told me this when I was debating our third but I blew it off. It really does make life much more difficult though, esp since you have to get everyone dressed and ready and plan around the baby's feeding schedule, just for a five minute trip. On days when I have kept him home with a cold or whatever I feel like the day is so much easier - even though I still have the normal "chores" around the house I feel like I've been lounging around all day not doing anything. I know that this will get easier as the baby gets older but it will still be a good two years until hopping in the car and going somewhere is as easy as it used to be. Maybe hurry up and try now so that you have a year or so with your baby before your daughter starts school -lol :) So, I probably have not been that much help... just make sure you consider time even more than you consider money when making your decision. Good luck to you!!
