Ok girls, I need some help. I have to very beautiful little girls a 3.5 and a 1 year old. My husband had said he was alright with just having the two girls, but it is football season and he loves football. Last Sunday he woke up saying he was thinking about sharing his love of football with his little boy that he does not have. Having a third baby, is something that I do want. But my two previous deliveries have been complicated with lots of bleeding, low blood pressure and a trip to the OR. The first delivery was a little less that a liter of blood loss and baby being OK, the second was 2 liters requiring a blood transfusion and baby being in danger. It was pretty scary. I am not sure that my want of a third child out weighs my fear of a third traumatic delivery. Should I cut my losses and think about adoption or just stick with my two girls and consider myself lucky or get pregnant again? Has anybody had this problem?
I love football and my dad has no complaints...if you can afford it financially and mentally then go for it; but don't assume that he can't share his interests with the children you already have.
If you're only thinking of a 3rd because you. Want a boy, then don't do it - you may have a girl & its nor fair to her to feel unwanted
Hi,
I just thought I would drop my opinion into the bucket - for what it's worth. I urge you to consider adoption. What better way to make a real difference in this world! I have two children through adoption (Kazakhstan and Ethiopia), one biological, and another biological on the way in about 6 weeks. We chose to adopt before having bio kids, not because we had infertility issues (clearly we don't!), but simply because we felt that there were so many children out there who needed loving homes. I wouldn't change it for the world. Both adoptions were amazing experiences that I will never forget. Also, with adoption, you can chose to adopt a boy, so you are certain that your third child will indeed be the buddy your husband is looking for. :-) PLease let me know if I can give you any advice in this arena.
i say don't do it, it's not worth you getting sick with two kids at home, and who's to say you would even have a boy? so far it looks like u have two girls and the chances of having a boy are slim, since it seems your husband is a girl giver. look at the reality of the situation if it's hard, and i know u love your husband and want to give him a son, but there are no guarantees what so ever that that's what you'll have, so i say adopt, even if it's not a baby, i think couples who adopt older kids are just as happy with them as they are with newborns, and with less mess lol
o say you woudl not have a 3rd daughter since it is how your husbands genes are working. But Why can't he encourage his love of football with a girl? there are women sports casters..my sister is football crazy and has her season tickets w/o any men around. You both need to realize that you are doing the girls a dishonor to seperate them as girls do this and boys do this..it is 2009..and if you went thru all of it and had anothe rgirl would you be disappointed? that would be sad. Get them hair clips with the team on them and run with it!
What does your doctor say? Can you have a scheduled c-section to prevent any of this? Otherwise - to be blunt - your children will not be better off without a mother. Do NOT put yourself in danger - or a baby in danger. Your already born children need you! If youre open to adoption, I say go for it!
Hi S.,
There's already too many people in the world. How about giving a home to a little boy (Or a big boy - see the movie The Blind Side http://www.fandango.com/theblindside_124539/movieoverview...) who already needs a loving family?
You might never become pregnant with a boy. The son you do bear might not like football. In some states there are get-togethers where children who need families and adults hoping to adopt meet and see if they have similar interests. That is obviously for older children. I think it's a wonderful idea. Adults and children can learn if they have the same interests and therefore will have something to bond together on.
Sounds too like it might be safer for you not to get pregnant.
Good luck,
: ) Maureen
Honey, talk with your doctor and discuss the risks. It does little good for us to "guess" at what may or may not happen , yes?
I had seven children and bled like a stuck pig. First one I had to go to ICU for couple days. They said I had a lazy uterus, would not contract properly.
Last two were bit dangerous, last one worst. I had preeclampsia and toxemia with last two and the head of nursing was with me almost the entire night. If I stood up to use bathroom I bled like a faucet had been turned on. But , here I am and so are all seven of my children.
We wanted the eighth child very much, I asked doc and his reply was.."Oh, I think we could bring you through one more" Scared me so we stopped with number seven.
With todays technology I would think they could handle about everything and anything that would happen.
The decision to try is ultimately up to you and husband..and...what if you had another darling girl? How would you feel then? One of my daughters ( I had two ) was crazy about sports. Several of my sons could care less.
Talk with hubby and doc and make a well informed choice about this third child.
Best wishes and God bless
Grandmother Lowell
There is no guarantee that the baby will be a boy. Have you dicussed how you both would feel if it were another girl? A couple of things came to mind in reading your entire first post. I am a firm believer in our fears can become our realities if we ponder on them. You are a critical care nurse. Perhaps you were aware prior to birthing your children that hemmoraging is possible because someone told you or you have seen it youself. If that is the case you could see a hypnotherapist to erase any fears. No matter how that fear came about it is something you should eliminate so it does not become your reality again. Perhaps it was caused by a overly managed 2nd stage. Violent pushing can cause more bleeding and is not necessary. Perhaps you could labor down meaning not do any pushing and let the uterus do all the work until you can not control the urge to bear down then gently breath down or nudge the baby gently down. The suggestion of a c-section if you are prone to bleeding should be eliminated there is more blood as I am sure you know because it is major surgery and poses more risks to you and the baby. Best of luck and I wish you a happy birthing day when the day comes.
I would discuss it with your doctor and go from there. I am pregnant with my 4th (Ahhhhhh!!), my last I had complications as well. At 5 months I was diagnosed with a Pulmonary Embolism, so having another baby was a big decision for us. We definitely discussed it with our doctor first.
I know what you mean about wanting a certain sex. We would love a little girl. But know that we could have another boy. We would be just as happy and love it just the same.
Good luck with whatever your decision is! ((Hugs to you))
Girls like football too!
