My 4 year old daughter was invited to a birthday party this coming Sunday. Thing is...do I really want to go?? Why I ask...because the child that invited her is my ex's neice. I've been with my husband for 5 years next month...I was on/off w/ my ex for 5 1/2 years,his family never really liked me...especially his sister (mother of the b-day child). I know alot of time has passed and all that...but do I really want to go though with this?? I did ask the mom if he would be there and she said she was going to invite him...of course..its her brother.He lives in a different town now,which is why I asked. Im just trying to keep in mind the girls...who are oddly "best friends".
By the way.....after reading some of the advice given...my daughter and the b-day child are in no way related.Sorry If I mis typed out all the details and also my daughter and the b-day girl also dont go to the same preschool....they met on the bus.
If she is your daughter's "best friend" then I think you need to put your feelings aside and go.
Well, if the mother of the birthday child never really liked you, it must be really important to her daughter that yours come to her daughter's party. She must recognize, as do you, the girls are best friends despite the relations of the adults in their lives. Yes, go! I can understand not really wanting to, but this is one of those times you be the bigger person for the sake of two children.
"Thing is...do I really want to go??"
You weren't invited.
Your daughter was invited.
Does she want to go? If so, suck it up and go.
If the girls are best friends then you have to take her. Just keep in mind that you are teaching your daughter how to properly deal with a difficult situation.
Have fun!
The party is about the b-day girl and her guests...meaning your daughter. It's not about you, so put on a happy face and go.
Your daughter's buddy is celebrating a birthday and wants her there. If the ex is there, say "Hi, how are you?"..."I'm great too. Nice seeing you" and move on to someone else to chat with! No need to have an extended conversation or rehash. If his family is there- do the same.
I'm just not seeing what you are "going through with" here.
I know how hard that situation can be but what you should ask yourself is, does your daughter want to go? Would she be really sad if she couldn't? Can you take her and be ok with leaving her there for the party and you just go do something else? I'm sorry this situation is hard, I hope you figure it out. :)
Are you saying this is your daughters best friend? If you are, then at least SHE has to go. I assume she wants to.
Is this your daughter with your present husband? If yes, can he take her?
Seems to me like Birthday girl is your daughter's best friend and cousin which is sweet and important. If you trust the family, drop your daughter off and pick her up in two hours. If you don't trust the family or want to supervise your daughter go with her to this party. This party isn't about you or your emotions or hard feelings or trauma or drama around how they did or didn't treat you. This is a party for the birthday girl so try to celebrate the fact that your daughter's cousin is alive and well.
Another option you didn't mention is letting your current husband take you daughter to this party or a friend of yours.
You do have options but I just believe it would be in your daughter's best interest for her to go no matter what emotions you will need to resolve inside yourself.
Your daughter shouldn't miss out on having a relationship with her cousin just because you have relationship issues with her father. Take the high road, let her go and keep the bond with her extended family. You will be a better person for it.
Is there a reason that he can't take for for the party?
I would go. You've obviously moved on, so even if he shows up he can see that.
Either I'm not clear, or another poster is not clear... Is the birthday girl in any way related to your daughter? I am thinking that the situation is just that she and your daughter are friends at preschool or something... ?
If they are best friends at school, then why wouldn't you take her? You are just the parent of another child at the party.
I think, from what little you've said, that somehow you allowed your daughter to become friends with the niece of your ex. Whether or not you realized in advance that that is who the little girl was... i.e., they inadvertantly, unbeknownst to you, ended up at the same preschool in the same class. But since you have allowed the relationship between the girls to grow, it hardly seems fair to not allow her to attend the girl's birthday party.
If you don't take her to the party, then you really need to reconsider what you are doing or not doing regarding allowing the girls' friendship to continue.
I was all no until I read that the girls are besties...yah I think maybe you should go. Unless it is contentious between you and the ex that is. If you are civil with eachother then do it for your daughters sake.
But I do wonder how the girls are buds if you and her mom don't like eachother? ARe they in school together maybe?
I think that under the circumstance....I think that the mom just wants to pump you for information and get the scoop on your new life. Leave it be.
