To Contact or Not to Contact

I think it would be rude NOT to contact her, especially since you're now aware of this loss, don't you think?

Call her.

I think you should contact her.
Grieving is a depressing thing and you might just be the shot in the arm from the past that could make her feel better if in fact she is crippled from her daughters early passing. She may be doing fine for all you know, so dont let it stop you or be afraid to contact her.
She probably would enjoy a new person to talk to about her daughter as with time, many friends get tired of hearing the same old thing all the time and become distant.

please contact. it's weighing on your for a reason. you might be the very thing she needs right now.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Go for it. :)

Your post really touched me! Yes, definitely contact her, probably via email first. I can only guess she would love to hear from you - wouldn't you be pleased if she contacted you out of the blue? If she is not interested, nothing lost.

Let her know you ran into so-and-so and that's how you got her information (so she doesn't think you were on the search for her ... creepy...). That you would love to know how she is doing and provide some info about you - except not to go on and on about your beautiful, healthy children.

Who knows, maybe a new phase of this friendship can be forged. Good luck ;)

Please contact her. You never know if it would mean the world to her to hear from you. Don't wax on about your kids - do acknowledge that you have them, but mostly, tell her that you are thinking aobut her and that you heard the news about her daughter.

I hope that you both are able to reconnect!

Dawn

I had a falling out with one of my best friends from high school. 17 years later she found me on classmates and messaged me. I really had to think over whether or not I wanted to go there since she had said some pretty hurtful things to me. The more I thought about it the more I realized what a completely different person I have become since then. I imagined she must have changed quite a bit as well so I answered her. We cleared the air and we have texted and/or emailed just about every day since (we live on opposite coasts.) I am so grateful that she went through the trouble to contact me! Reach out to her! I really hope things turn out as well as they did with my friend and I.

I would definitely contact her. It would probably be fun just to go out for lunch and catch up with each other, if nothing else.

I got in contact with my best friend from high school after 20 years; we had lunch and corresponded for awhile but lost touch again. But I was ok with that because our lives had definitely gone down different paths. But at least I made the effort and know what became of her.

Good luck!!

I would absolutely contact her. Life is too short to miss out on something that could be a great friendship. And if it doesn't work out, it won't matter. But if you don't try, you'll never know. You can't have too many friends, right ;)

Why not contact her? What a terrible thing to have lost a child. You obviously cared about each other a lot, I am sure that she would love to hear from you.

I had a similar situation, my childhood best friend from birth to age 14- we grew apart at 14 and then my family relocated to Texas from Illinois. We didn't talk for years and then we found each other on facebook. We're not close like we used to be but it's nice to have her on my radar again. We reminisce about childhood memories and it's always a warm fuzzy feeling. No one in my life knows that part of me like she does, so it's good to have her on my friends list again.

I would shoot her an email or if you have facebook see if she's on facebook. Send your condolences about her daughter, I'm sure she will love to hear from you.

I don't believe in coincidence.

She has been on your mind, you ran into an old mutual friend, you have her contact info....what are you waiting for? :)

GL.

I'd say go for it - what's the worst that can happen? She might be thinking about you too! I had a close friend that I met at college but when I became engaged we started to drift apart which resulted in her being asked out of my wedding (long story) but I thought of her often through the years and wondered what she was up too. I figured she'd moved on with her life and would have no interest in reconnecting. About five years after my wedding I became pregnant with my first child and shortly after a mutual friend of ours ran into her and told her of my news. She looked me up and called me that weekend! We were not home at the time but she had left a message and I kid you not I cried when I heard her message - I had missed her so much! I called her back immediately and we talked for the longest time, met up for lunch the following weekend, and it's been seven years since we reconnected and we're the best of friends now =)

I would get in touch. She might very well love to rekindle your old friendship.

I would contact her, just keep in mind, she may not want to reconnect so be prepared if that happens, on the other hand she may be very happy to hear from you and it may seem like you never lost touch. You will never know if you don't try. GOOD LUCK!

It would probably mean the world to her to hear from you-make the effort-and all the best to you for your good intentions.

Contact her but don't have any expectations one way or the other. If you spark up a friendship, great. If not, then that's how it was meant to play out. Good luck.

I say yes you should contact her.

You only live the one life....

Write! It's never too late. The fact that your children are healthy doesn't mean you should bypass a mama who is still grieving (and she is - you don't really get over it; you learn how to go on).

"I was thinking about you, wondering where you were and how you were doing. A friend told me that you had a death in the family, and I'm so sorry. I haven't had that experience, and hope I don't, but it breaks my heart to think about a daughter of yours dying so young. Can we get back into touch with each other? I'd love to hear from you." Or something like that. Focus on her and not on yourself. If she wants to know how you're doing, she can ask.

Nothing wrong with reaching out to her. I would do it..Obviously knowing her daughter has passed you won't open with a message look at me I have three kids and you don't. I would email and tell her you've thought alot about her and would she be interested in reconnecting? I certainly would appreciate it if it were me.

I reconnected with a long lost friend too. She and mean hubby divorced and she hid from him for many years. I found her when I googled her name and her book came up.

I sent an email saying hi and how glad I was to have found her again. She was remarried and very happy.

We still have not seen each other in person but we have talked numerous times on the phone and have sent stuff back and forth for the kiddos.

It has been very refreshing to rekindle this friendship. If it doesn't feel right once you reconnect then just let it dwindle off again.

I would try to contact her. I had a similar situation happen. I only had my friends regular snail mail address though. I sent a letter and she never responded back. So be prepared for that kind of response too. I know her growing up years weren't all that fun and this friend and I had lost contact soon after middle school, but I would really have liked to catch up with her. It's hard to think that she just didn't care, but we all have our own lives to live.