I am 34 weeks. With my first, she was found to be small for gestational age and I had low amniotic fluids. Nevertheless she was born healthy despite a lot of worrying.
With this one, so far all tests and recent ultrasound shows he is developing fine, albeit a bit on the small side b/c I am short as well. My OB was not concerned and said all appears fine, last week. She also said my weight gain is fine.
Well, that's not enough for him! He thinks I'm not eating as much as I should and could be eating more, thinking I'm trying to watch my weight too much. I am, but it does not hinder me from eating!! When I am hungry, I EAT.
I'm not compromising myself either! I usually try to eat organic, eat 3 meals plus snacks, a lot of protein and water. A lot of fruits and veggies too.
I exercise 3X a week lightly as I just can't do much now. I am so careful to be the healthiest I can be, and of course I let myself indulge in my favorite (not so healthy) foods every so often. No alcohol or drugs either! And I take the prenatal vitamins and all.
But he still is worried and convinced I am not eating enough. I offered to show him a food diary but he declined. I tried to tell him my OB is not concerned, and he DOES come to most appointments. But he thinks I'm obsessed with weight gain and not eating enough protein and carbs.
I know he wants what's best for the child, but now it's just getting old! I'm sorry I sound like a petulant teen, but I could sure do without this pressure. I should be getting pampered and made to feel comfortable and stress free, but not like I'm a villian trying to injure our child.
My hubby was the same way. Nothing I did made a difference. I just ignored him. Eating in front of him helped him a bit. Just seeing that I was eating and maybe letting him buy me an icecream or two! Good luck.
Your husband heard the doctor say the buzz word "baby small for size" so in his mind, you need to eat more so the baby can have a normal weight. In the last trimester they do recommend eating enough protein and weight gaining foods for the sake of the baby, not necessarily A LOT..for instance yogurt, cheese, milk, chicken breast, avocados, etc, so if your husband see you just eating a salad, he might be getting paranoid over that. Just imagine how out of control he feels that he cannot do anything about (his child too) and it's totally up to you. So try to be understanding and educate him. Encourage him that you are doing fine, and baby will be fine. Of course you both have a history too of a small baby in the past, so that might have him worried as well.
I am a bit of a crankypants. When my husband would do that to me (we have 3 now), I would let it pass for a day. I worked outside the home. The next day, I would write down everything I ate and make a co-worker initial that she had seen me eat it. If I exercised (which was rare my second and third pregnancies), I had my co-worker or friend initial that she had seen me do it and also comment on how hard or easy I was working out. I would keep a log of how much sleep I got, when I took vitamins, etc. And I would present it to him every day until he got the hint.
The first time, he was a little taken aback but he read it eagerly. He did that for about a week. Then it got old for him. I kept it up until he asked me to not do it anymore. It calmed him, helped me work out my bitterness at him, and made it easier for him to trust me throughout the remainder of the pregnancy.
PS When my first was born on his due date, and I went in to the ER because it was after hours, they asked me why I was there. I didn't show all that much. With my second, at almost 8 months pregnant, I took an international flight and no one even commented that I should really be more careful. I wore a sweatshirt, and no one knew I was pregnant. With my third one, I measured small for her gestational age the whole way through. All three kids were completely fine. I just carried small. And their sizes were 7.14, 8.14, and 8.3.
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Why are you watching your weight? I have no problem with eating healthy and organic, but if you are hungry, you need to eat. If he is seeing you focus on your weight, I can see the concern. I think that you need to sit down with him and let him know the undue stress that he is causing you by focusing on your eating.
I would humor him totally. Many people forget how hard pregnancy can be on dads. They are completely helpless to do anything, right down to delivery. Men do NOT like helplessness. My husband was upset a lot with me about weighing myself during my pregnancies, even though I explained that I wasn't supposed to gain in the first few months, how much I was supposed to gain, etc. He never thought I was eating enough or eating enough protein. He sat in the hall crying when we had our first child. (We planned that--not the crying part. He is a completely devoted dad.)
However much you might want pampering, please just smile and try to eat something when he mentions his concerns. No amount of facts are going to make him feel better, and reminding you to take care of yourself and the baby (even though you already are) is his way of helping and supporting. I know it is irritating, but at least you only have a couple more months. Good luck and hopefully you both can relax a bit and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy.
If he doesn't already go with you to your appointments, make him. Then, makd sure he tells his concerns (not you, but him) to the doctor/midwife and let him hear the answer first hand.
Other than that. I think you should just count yourself lucky that you are almost done! lol I know how you feel. My husband isn't the one that is worried, but everyone else has an opinion. I am one of the lucky few women that literally do NOT gain a lot of weight during pregnancy, no matter what I do. 1st was a whopping 3 lbs, 2nd was 8lbs and 3rd was 11lbs. I am 37 weeks now with my 4th and have gained 5lbs. All babies healthy (3rd one was actually weighed over 9lbs). However, people get wind of my not gaining weight and they have all kinds of things to say. I have learned to just grin and bear it and remind them that all my babies have been healthy and my midwife is not concerned.
I haven't read too many responses, but I would tell him he's doing more harm than what you are eating but stressing you out. Remind him how "stress" harms you son, since he's went to your doctor's appointment he knows your ob isn't worried about your weight gain or lack of it. Tell him to STOP right now, by stressing you out you are stressing out the baby and blood isn't flowing good and there can be more harm done. TO keep you HAPPY!
Congrat on your son!
