Tips for Moving with a Toddler

Updated on November 11, 2009
L.S. asks from Wausau, WI
9 answers

Hello moms,

We bought a new house and we will be moving in about 3 weeks. I was just wondering if you have any advice for how to make the transition easier for my 2 year old son and 9 month old daughter.

We've been going over to see the new house as often possible and we've also been playing in the yard. He seems to feel a little more comfortable when he's outside now, but he's still pretty scared in the house. He has a very timid nature.

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So What Happened?

Thank you all so much for your great tips! We haven't moved yet, but I've been incorporating as many of your ideas as possible into the pre-move prep. Now that we have closed on the house we can run around inside at will and he has really warmed up to it. He gets so excited showing new people his new room and his sister's room next to it. Thanks again for all of your ideas!

More Answers

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K.H.

answers from Des Moines on

Hi L.! We JUST went through this (literally last week) with our 2.5 year old. I think going over there a lot prior to moving in will help. The few things we did that seemed to help:

1) Let him help you unpack and put things where they belong (when he can - i.e. towels, bedding, etc)

2) We had her grandma take our daughter shopping (or to the park or whatever) while we got her room set up. That way when she came back her "old" room was magically all assembled just the way she would remember it and had all her treasures in it!

3) Designate a "play area" really early and put all his favorite toys there. He will feel like he has his own "area" in the home.

From there its just been reinforcement. She is fine during the day but at night, for the first few days, she would cry and want to go "back home". We just lovingly but consistently told her that this was our home now and that we live here. Its been just over a week and things are much improved.

As for the 9m/o I would say just try and keep her close to you as much as possible and again keep her room or area as familiar as possible as soon as possible.

Best of luck and I hope you LOVE your new home!

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S.G.

answers from Rapid City on

There is a dragon tales video where one of the dragons has to move into a different room. If you can find that it might help. Once he sees your furniture and his toys and such in the house it should help him feel more at home. Be prepared for his being a bit scared the first couple nights while adjusting to new shadows and different smells in a new room. He will soon be fine there and forget the old house completely.

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A.V.

answers from Minneapolis on

I myself have just moved into a new home with my 2 1/2 year old. We've moved in the past and she's never had an issue - this is a different story - I'm assuming due to her age. I think your going to the new home is a great idea! I've also heard to try and set their rooms up the same (if possible). I was making the mistake of taking her back to the old house (once we moved) to clean and get some things - that was just confusing her. So we stopped that pretty quick.

Good luck and I'm sure all will go well - it may just take a little time!

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J.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hi L.

I moved with a 3, 3 and 11 month old. I agree with the other responses that you are doing a great job. Keep it simple, sing, make a game of it. It will help you with your stress too!

Just one add on. Set up his room first as much as possible in the old way he had it. Familiarity is really something he will appreciate with all the changes.

Remember, the stuff in the boxes can stay in the boxes. Take time to play!

Smiles, J.

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C.M.

answers from Bismarck on

Hi L.

It sounds like you're really doing some great things by playing in the yard and going to see the new house. When we moved 2 years ago our then-3-year-old was worried that his stuff wouldn't come to the new house. So we did a lot of showing which boxes were his and planning what his room was going to look like. You might take a video through the house or just pictures of each room so that he gets used to what they all look like before you get there.

Good Luck!!

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J.B.

answers from San Francisco on

First, congratulations on the purchase of your new home!

The transition for toddlers/babies from one house to another is one worth taking into account before you find yourself surrounded by moving boxes, packing paper, chaos -- and a kiddo having a meltdown!

There's a fear some toddlers have that they, too, will be sealed up in a box along with their toys and books. As a veteran mover (my son's number of houses outnumbers his age. . . significantly!!) I found it helpful to sing a very silly song while I packed.
Something like, "Into the box goes Mama's dish, into the box goes Daddy's shirt, into the box goes Baby's spoon -- but does Baby go into the box? No, not EVER!"
After awhile he'd sing the "No, not EVER!" part with me.
I guess by then I'd convinced him he wasn't going in the box!!!

Sounds goofy, I know, but it worked.

Your little guy sounds like a love! And he's so lucky that you understand and honor his quiet spirit.
Worst case and most predictable scenario is that he'll become "Velcro Boy" and want to be carried or otherwise close to you and your husband. Maybe you two could trade off days of holding your son and daughter pre-move, day-of move, and post-move.

Singing silly songs that address fears, boo-boos, transitions etc. can be a great stress-reliever for you and your little guy. Doesn't matter if you're making them up on the fly; they serve the purpose of naming the issue, facing the issue, and then choosing not to let the issue become bigger than it has to be.

Best best best of luck to you.
Hang in there.
Buy some extra-strength hand cream because all the paper handling plays havoc with your cuticles and really dries out your hands.
:-)

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L.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

You are sooo not alone in moving with small kiddos! One thing we did was to make sure the kids' rooms got set up first thing on moving day. Then, they could see their beds were still their beds. I even made them early in the day, so they could be assured they'd have a place to sleep. We also let them see their stuff being packed, and had them help (the 2-year-old only packed one box!), so they could see it was "normal"...and then we found "their" box early and let them unpack it. The most special toys rode in the car, but the box of stuff contained some books, and the 2nd best toys.

Are you painting their rooms before you move? We painted my son's room and told him about the new colors -- chocolate milk and cream -- and told him we'd have a "sports" border for him. He was delighted to have something just for him. The "girl" room stayed the same, but we bought new sheets for her so she didn't feel left out....and made sure she went with me to choose. Princess sheets it was! :-)

My daughter is a little timid, too, so we made sure we had time for lots of hugs on moving day (easier said than done!) and made sure to keep talking about how fun the new house will be. Talked until we were blue in the face! Before moving day, we talked about what would happen that day. We told the kids what was happening DURING moving day, and kind of debriefed afterward. It seems to help that they knew what to expect.

Good luck...and don't forget to have lots of favorite foods ready on moving day!

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J.F.

answers from Minneapolis on

We just moved last month with our soon to be 2 year old. We set her room up the same with the furniture and are still working on decorating it. We also set up the playroom quickly.

She did ok with the move and isn't so timid....but the first couple of nights were hard on all of us. She woke up several times and wanted to be put in our bed. We did it a couple of times and then decided it wasn't something we wanted to continue. So, we rocked her and comforted her the first few nights and kept adding things that made the room more like her old one. That helped a lot!

Maybe move some of the decorations and furniture that isn't needed first so when the big moving day happens, you can add the needed things more easily.

Also, make sure you have favorite CD's or videos available. We didn't have cable for 2 weeks (long story!) and my daughter likes to watch Sprout in the morning as she wakes up. We had to go to Blockbuster to get a few videos.

Good luck! It's do-able! And remember, you can't preplan everything!

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E.B.

answers from Duluth on

Yes definitely set up his room completely before anything else when you move in. Also sometimes it helps to get him excited about a new place if he gets to help "decorate" it. Let him pick out a special new blanket, pillow, rug, picture etc. that he will get to decide where it goes in his new room. This will help him have a sense of control over the move. Same with letting him decide where things go in his new room. If he feels that he has some control over the move & situtation it should not be a scary for him.

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