Time to Take Binky Away?

Updated on September 28, 2010
J.M. asks from Harrisburg, PA
14 answers

my son is going to be 2 on october 20th and has a binky. i only allow himto have itin hiscrib or play pen. i amwondering if i should take it away yet. my daughter was 3 wheni tookhers she was even more attached than my son though. drs and dentist say b4 age 3. by leaving him have it am i just prolonging the agony?

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L.M.

answers from Dover on

Yes, you are prolonging the inevitable. My son was almost completely weaned from the pacifier around 14 month (extremely attached but as long as I took it before he woke in the morning he only needed it at bedtime from about 12 months). My daughter didn't use hers as much and completely weaned herself around 8 months.

I would suggest letting him have it at bedtime if he asks for it or seems to miss it but otherwise keep it out of site. Then as soon as possible, don't give it at all. Some people have used the "time to give them to the new baby" if they know someone having a baby soon or "have to send them to Santa for the new baby".

My son's two step sisters were hard to wean because the younger one had one and the older one who they were weaning kept stealing the baby sisters (sometimes right out of her month).

Nothing wrong with a pacifier for a baby but the sooner you can take it after they are approaching 1yr, the better.

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K.B.

answers from Harrisburg on

Take it away. Should have been taken away a long time ago. I've not heard dentists saying it's ok to have up to age 3. A pacifier is for babies to soothe themselves. By age 2, and well before, there are other means to soothe themselves. Pacifiers are only a habit and not a necessity. Change the habit to cuddling a bear or something.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

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L.T.

answers from Dallas on

My daughter had hers at bedtime only until she was lanmost3. I told her it was time to throw it away and it went fine.

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K.F.

answers from New York on

The longer he is with it. The more attached he will be and the greater the pain. End it now, I know it's hard but it must be done. Buy him some new lovey to take it's place.

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R.K.

answers from Boston on

I actually think they should be taken away before they turn 1. I would say if he is only using it to sleep then its okay I wouldn't take my son's puppy away from at this age bc its his security item. However if you are allowing it while he is awake that is different and it needs to go. Just the other day we were at the doctors and there was a roughly 4 yr old there walking around with a binky and talking when she did take it out her speech sounded just as horrible. I think sucking on a binky all day hinders speech but again if its just at night/nap time I think its okay. My oldest never sucked a thumb or binky and he will need braces and on of his cousins had one until she was 3 and her teeth are beautiful so I don't buy into if your child sucks a binky they will have crooked teeth.

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J.K.

answers from Philadelphia on

We had our daughter give hers up when she turned 2. Like you - we only allowed them in her crib. When she was getting close to 2 I started talking up that she was going to get a BIG girl bed (toddler bed) so she was totally excited. When she turned 2, we put the bed in her room but also left the crib just in case. And we told her no binkies in the big girl bed. We left the crib in her room for awhile. Some naps or bedtimes she'd ask for her binkies and we'd tell her she could have them in her crib if she wanted. She never once agreed to it. Though when she was awake - we would let her go in her room for a "drag" on her binkies. But then one day we asked if she was ready to give her binkies to another baby (something else we'd been talking up) She agreed, gathered them up with Daddy and put them in the mailbox for the mailman to take the next day (we took them out after she went to bed) She asked for one a few times here and there and we'd remind her that another baby had them now - and she was fine with it.
Sorry to be so longwinded - my point was try taking them away during another exciting transition and it just may be an easy thing to do:) Good luck!!

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A.F.

answers from Columbus on

Time to take it away. It's called a pacifier b/c that's what it's intended to do when babies are newborn, pacify their urge to suck.

I think some parents are more attached to it than the kids are. My nephew's start to fuss b/c something is wrong and my sister just pops a binky in their mouth and doesn't deal with what they need. But that's another story :)

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N.H.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I remember my parents hiding mine from me and I would always find it. No kidding! I even remember I climbed up on the back of an overstuffed armchair and found it hidden in a vase on top of a high shelf. How old could I have been to remember that -- three? Truthfully, I think it was one of the only comforts I had. I was a rude interruption on my mother's career path, raised by nannys, not nursed or held very much. My mother even said later that she "never should have had children". I resolved my issues in years of therapy...
I think your son is still little. Sucking is one of those basic needs that is a building block for an emotionally healthy development. I did not make it a struggle with my own children and they did not obsess about it.
Good luck,
N

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D.B.

answers from Philadelphia on

I think by waiting it is not only making it harder on your son but on you. There is a window of opportunity between about 9 months and round 18-24 months where you can take it away and just say no more binkie. I think we took my son's away when he was around one and he barely noticed it was gone. He was still nursing so perhaps that distracted him but he would also have just a fun time with his toys. We lucked out with our daughters, because I tried to give them binkies a few days after birth and they would spit them out so fast you thought they were going for distance. I also think once they get past age two, each child becomes more aware of things going on so it is easier for them to become attached and try to hold onto it longer.

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K.B.

answers from Columbus on

I took my daughters binky away about three weeks after she turned two, and we've been without it for about three weeks. She has a new cousin coming and we were going to the baby shower so we took the binkys with us as a present for the new baby.

It's been okay. The first night it was difficult for her to fall asleep, but she never cried, just whined a bit. After that it was fine. I wish I would have done it sooner, I think it would have been a bit easier :)

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

"by leaving him have it am i just prolonging the agony?" Yes. End it now. I took my son's before he even had the chance to get attached (probably the only thing I've done "by the book"!
I was so old when I gave mine up, I knew the garbage man's name!

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S.S.

answers from Goldsboro on

I never intended for my son to have a pacie at all, but thanks to the nursery nurses, he got one. It really screwed up breastfeeding too. He didn't room in with me because I had a very difficult c-section and I didn't even get out of bed for 2 days.

That being said, my plan was to only allow him to have his pacie at bedtime and during naps after he turned one. But I was able to wean him from the bottle SOOO easy, I felt like I could wait a few months and it would be a simple process.
I try to keep it out of his mouth as much as possible (he's 19 months), but just last week, he started asking for it.
He also figured out where I "hide" them on his dresser and somehow managed to pull the dresser scarf down enough that they fell on the floor and he got one.
Then last night I witnessed him climb on top of my kitchen table to get the one that was on there.
My plan is to have a "pacie party" when he turns 2. We're going to let the pacie fairy take all his pacies away.
I'm a little hopeful he'll give it up on his own. According to my mom, I did. She saw me toss it in the garbage can one day and I never asked for it again.

R.C.

answers from York on

I think as long as you are strict with the rule of only at nap/bed time you are fine. My son just turned 2 and he has only ever been allowed his at nap and bed time. I do think it will be tough to take it away eventually but I don't think it is a big deal yet.

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