Time to Get Her Back to Her Own Bed

Your plan sounds solid. I would NOT put a TV in there, though. Too stimulating! I don't think TV is going to help her go to sleep at all. And if it does, then you're stuck with that problem. How about an alarm clock radio? You could just tune in a radio station at very low volume for background noise. We turn a fan on in the hallway outside our kids' rooms every night on High for background noise.
I think that as parents we tend to project too much onto our kids. She might be nervous and has obviously gone through a lot lately, but she is also capable, I'm sure, of learning to sleep on her own. Don't be too quick to assume that it will be a huge problem. Stick with your plan. We've found with our 4.5 year old (who also likes to have us in his room until he falls asleep) that if we just say "I have to go to the bathroom... I'll be back in 5 minutes... close your eyes... I'll be back to check on you..." that 9 out of 10 times he'll fall asleep on his own without us having to go back in at all. That 10th time he'll come out of his room over and over and we'll just keep walking him back to bed and doing the same thing... but that's usually when he's not overly tired.
I'm a true believer that when trying to estabilsh any new bedtime routine, make sure your child is good and tired! Might be a good time for lots of outdoor activities, a very short nap (or no nap at all) and a slightly later bedtime temporarily until the new routine is working well.
It will happen and she'll be fine : ) Good luck ; )

I totally agree with Carolyn - no tv and consistancy will win the war. We have always had a problem getting our now 4 yr old down to sleep by himself and I had to lay down the law, (instead of lay down w/him) a couple weeks b/f he was 4. We told him that 4 yr old are too big for their parents to sleep with them and his bed isn't big enough for us. We stop letting him sleep with us when he got his big boy bed at age 3 except only on occassions- sick, way to early wake-ups, But b/f that he would climb out of his crib and into our bed every night. That's why it was hard for him to adjust to sleeping alone. It took a few weeks, and even months of no success b/c- he is very strong willed and we went through charts, super nanny tech-, sitting outside his door reading a book (ignoring him) but putting him back to bed 15 times w/o saying a word. I came up with an idea of a sleeping fairy she will give him three tries and will give him upto 3 pieces of candy placed in a little bucket if he stays in bed, everytime he gets out of bed one piece in taking away. It has been working of the most part, he usually only gets out 2 times and goes to bed by himself. Lately because we stop the whole nap thing he hasn't been having any prpblems going down and gets 3 candies. That has made out lives so much better, because with a nap he wasn't going down until almost 11 pm everynight so, 8:30-9pm is paridise. Good Luck.

Instead of a TV, Maybe some music of her very own in a CD player (with a remote). And a new stuffed animal that she picks out. Maybe even go to Build a bear (sort of expensive but might be worth it). She can be the mommy and sleep with her new animal? Good Luck

Your plan sounds great. I am totally against the TV thing (seems to be your first instict too ) How about buying her a small kids CD player and some quiet kids music CDs. She will feel like such a big girl to be able to listen to music as she goes to sleep in her own bed. I do this with my daughter when she has a bad dream or trouble settleing down. I go back in about an hour and slip off the head phones once she is asleep (or before I go to bed) works like a charm. For her, it would be an incentive to stay in her own "big girl" bed. I am sure your plan will work!

Your approach sounds good. If it does not work, you might consider having her see a child therapist to help her move through her fears and the trauma of her medical experiences. I know a therapist who uses EMDR very effectively with children. It speeds up the trauma recovery by desensitizing and reprocessing the way she thinks and feels about going to bed alone or about the surgery. I can answer more about it if you like. ____@____.com.

My son, also 4 years old, had an obsession with hogging the tv's in the house. Can I just say that I'm not a fan of Wiggles? I digress.

I acquired a tv and DVD/VCR for him. I set it up in his room and told him this is for in the morning and at bedtime only, and he was done hogging my tv (Momma's gotta watch The Daily Show at 6pm!). To my pleasant surprise, it worked. It cut down on his viewing time, and made tv something special.

He only gets to watch pre-selected DVD's and VHS's and isn't connected to cable. I also try to remember to turn it off before he falls asleep so he won't get used to falling asleep with it.

I think overall it has been a good thing. Designated tv viewing times are established, and he sees his room as his retreat which I love. I think it's healthy for children to come to regard their space as "theirs". He has taken to putting up his favorite posters and setting up the room the way he likes it. It's really been a positive experience for both of us.

Hope that helps!

We've been dealing with this with our almost 4 yo for the past year. He would not stay in his room. Then we finally got him to go to sleep without any problem and stay in there all night, for a few months. Then out of no where, he is back to being afraid of his room. I thought of the tv thing but i dont even think it will work for him. Last night he yelled from 8 til 12 that he wanted to go in our bed. I was so upset with him because we have a 18 month old sleeping in the room next to his. I dont know what to do. Im so tired from fighting with him every night for the past week. My husband even kept him up late a few nights to wear him out, it didnt work. So, im sorry i cant help, but we did have him in his room alone for several months. No sitting in there or outside of his room. And we did it by slowly stopping all the coaching at bed time. I dont know what went wrong!!! Good luck to you.