Time Out - Louisville,KY

My daughter is 2 also (she'll be three at the end of May) and I had some trouble with time out. I used to talk to her while I was putting her in time out or while she was sitting on her time out rug. After seeing super nanny and talking to my psychology prof (she has a PhD and spent a couple of years specializing in children) I realized that I was just doing the time out wrong. She goes straight into time out after her warning and all that. Then she sits there for 2 minutes and it doesn't matter how hard she cries or yells I do not pay attention to her until her time out is over. Then we talk, hugs & kisses, and I love yous and it works now. I had to do a day of carrying her back into her time out spot repeatedly but it's well worth it in the end!

Stop talking and act. Let him know once that his behavior is unacceptabe then follow with a punsihment the next time he tests you. At the same time give him rewards for good behavior. We used chocolate milk with my eldest. Sticky stars woked for my daughters.

Appropiate time out is one minute for every year of age. 1 year-1 minute, 2 years- 2 minutes. You might also have to take things away instead of or in addition to time outs. The key to discipline working is consistency. If you are not consistent then it will never work. Not all kinds learn from the time outs. Some kids learn more from having the whatever taken away, etc... If he is throwing a toy, take it away and put it up until he can play with it nicely. The time will vary, sometimes just a few minutes and sometimes a few days or longer.

He has to know you mean business. If he knows that if he keeps getting out of time out that you will give up it will never work. If you have watched super nanny you know it can take while for them to get that you mean it. Not fun as a parent but so worth it once they get it. I wish you luck sticking to your guns and letting him know you are serious when you tell him you want him to do or not do something.

There is a wonderful book called 123 Magic they also have a version for Christian Parents by Thomas Phalen. I have just started reading it and trying it on my independent 2 yr old and it really works.

Around 18 months, my son was the same way. I think some things are so confusing, timeouts being one. Kids are on timeout for EVERYTHING! I broke it down and my son, now almost 3, is a great listener.

We gave the warning with option. Would you like to get out of the dog food bowl or would you like a 1 minute timeout for NOT LISTENING?

If he didn't choose well, we would say, You are on timeout for NOT LISTENING to mommy/daddy. (We timeouted him everywhere, no specific spot because we wanted him to behave everywhere. He knows if he acts up he could be sitting on the grocery floor for a timeout. Besides, who wants to drop what they are doing because their child is throwing a fit?)

We would take the timeout with him and at the end would say, you have to listen to mommy/daddy. Say I'm sorry for not listening.

Yes, you do this all the time for a few weeks, but it pays off. Eventually it clicks, but the first week bites because all you do is sit in timeout with your kid. Patience is key.

Now my son has learned that he has to listen and the punishment is for NOT LISTENING, not, hitting, biting, fighting, throwing, yelling, running, or whatever is used. Now we can say would you like to stop jumping on the couch or would you like a 2 minute timeout and he almost always chooses correctly. Its a nice way of molding and enforcing good choices and good behavior without all the stress. If he does make it into a timeout he always is apologetic at the end and tells me he will listen better.

We give our 2 year old timeouts in a chair for two minutes. After her timeout we ask her if she knows what she did wrong, then we discuss, and we end with a hug.

If she doesn't stay in the chair we give her one warning and then she goes to her crib. For a child that age you have to have a confining space like a crib or playpen to make this work. After a few minutes of screaming in the crib she was usually read to do her time. We only had to put her in her crib a couple of times before she started always responding to the warning. Now she almost always responds to a warning about getting a timeout.

Do him a favor and get him in preschool or playgroup a couple times a week.

I always love checking out this site for some ideas http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/half_full/ it is about raising happy, well-balanced kids. you can browse the topics or search. Lots of great topics including how punishment and rewards don't actually make your child behave the way you'd like long term. Maybe for the moment they will fear you enough to do it, but it doesn't really stick. Anyway, I've found it quite helpful for new ideas. Good luck.

I highly highly highly recommend the book Making the Terrible Twos Terrific, by John Rosemond. You can find it cheap on amazon. Nothing you have tried has worked, so you have to find something different. I'll tell you what worked for me for my now four-year old. The last couple of times he was awful in public (he actually broke the hand off a halloween skeleton/butler thing at Sam's Club), I took him home and put him in his room for the rest of the day. I have the doorknob turned around so I can lock it and he can't come running out constantly (that's my only issue with what the supernanny does - I will not punish myself by restraining him when a door can do it just fine for me). I did, of course, let him out for dinner and to use the bathroom. Well, it got the point across and now he is well behaved in public. If he starts wanting to touch everything in the store or run off, I remind him about going to his room for the day, and he knows that will happen - because it will. Threats/warnings/etc. don't work. You have to "make him an offer he can't refuse" as John Rosemond and the Godfather would say. Take away whatever is most dear and precious to him when he doesn't do as instructed(for my son, that would be bouncing around the house instead of being confined in his bedroom). Good luck, and read the book. His other books are excellent as well (such as his Six Point Plan for Raising Happy Healthy Children).

he is not really old enough to stay still but it is a good time to start and introduce him. You will need to get on his level and look him in the eye when you speak and tell him what to do. You will also need to follow through so he takes you seriously. If he does not listen, take away his next fun thing. ie tv, movie, etc

My husband & I took part in a parenting class and the most helpful concept that we came away with is "there's no such thing as a strong-willed child, only a weak-willed parent." Our daughter has tested us many times (and still does) but we remind ourselves that we are the parents, she is the child. We are the bigger person, the adult, the "boss." It's important that if we warn her not to do something once, and she does it again, to follow up her action with her punishment. Otherwise, she'll never learn that we mean what we say when we tell her not to do something, and she'll quickly learn that she can get away with things. If you use the naughty corner or naughty chair, if/when he gets up, sit him back down w/out talking to him. Like we've seen on the Supernanny before, this may take many, many, many times of sitting him back down before he knows you mean business but stick to it and be strong.

we use our kitchen bar stool our 2 year old cant get down works great!

I"m a little late on reading this so you've probably gotten all of the answers that you need. But here goes anyway. The trick to time out (for us) is that they stay still for no longer than 2 minutes. They just don't have the attention span for any longer and they will just lose it again and you've got a whole family meltdown at that point. Before they get up you have to do eye contact and in as little words as possible make sure they know why they were there. Don't threaten and not do it. Do the time out the first time every time. He knows what he should'nt be doing so it's not going to be a surprise. No loud voices as this just scares or intimidates him. You have to be ultra consistent! They will get less however it will feel like you are constantly putting your child in time out. Eye contact is the key to their listening. Our little boy will go out of his way to avoid the eyes when he is doing something wrong...lol. We just get down on his level stand him still and say look at me. He eventually does and that is the end of that power struggle. I've been told time and time again that the 2's and the 3's are just a continuous learning period for both you and your child. It can be so frustrating but just know that with age the child will get his behavior under control provided he has been held accountable and with love and patience...I laugh as I say that since it seems patience is a very elusive thing sometimes. But you know what I mean. Good luck with your little one!