Time for the "Housewife"

www.flylady.net
I use her ideas it cuts down dramatically on the time spent cleaning, and keeps things running smooth...

S.,

Well, if you lived next door to me, you would send them to my house! I am finding that a couple of my neighbors send their kids to play at my house while they clean. I wish I would have thought of it first:)

Actually, there are times that not everything gets done. My kids were toddlers, they would play with blocks or legos while I would clean the kitchen. I would give then a tub of books that they could look for a bit. My preschoolers would color or play with play doh. For me it was easier to not always have them doing the same activity. It would give the kids a break from each other and the 4 yr old is not responsible for the younger ones. Your 4yr old can help you, it will not be perfect, but she will enjoy the time with you and you are also teaching her. My son loves to help me clean the window, he does the bottom, I do the top.

When I would weed, I would let them play in the back yard. But, in the front, I know I couldn't trust a two yr old not to run in to the street. So, I would not give them a ball or anything that I could not completely give my attention too.

I can say that when you are home all day, your house gets messier. It is an endless cycle, they make a mess to keep them busy while you clean a mess. Before long, your 4 yr old will be off to school and this special time you have will be gone. So, if the floor doesn't get mopped everyday, but you have time to read a few books and cuddle, it wonderful!

I have no idea, but if you do figure out out I would love to learn.. sometimes my husband seems to think that I sit on the couch and eat bon bons all day:) Which I don't... playing with a toddler is hard work. But I prefer to think that if my house is a little cluttered or a little messy that's better than my daughter not knowing who her mother is. I could clean all day and make her sit alone and play independently, but I would rather play with her.

Having "been there and done that" all I can say is relax and be willing to put your kids first. There were some years I spent too much time worrying about clean toilets, etc. No one cares and no one will remember. But they will remember how they felt when they were around you and the fun times together. Just ask my grown kids who are now parents which years were the best. Your preschoolers will be gone before you know it and you will be a grandma. It is called selective neglect -- just don't neglect the things that "really" matter. It's the hardest thing you will ever do but when you see your children become parents you will know you did the right thing. Raising responsible adults is your number one job right now. Now that my five are gone I have the time to paint, etc. and I miss the little handprints I used to wipe away. Good luck! Thanks for being a SAHM.

You just have to figure out a system for getting things done when your little one is around. Kids love to help and feel involved. Quite honestly, I don't have any time during the day to get things done, uninterrupted, now that my daughter doesn't nap. And usually by the time my kids are in bed I'm too tired to tackle any big projects and I just need some downtime. So I guess the answer is, you just plug along through the day and you try to get little things done in the small windows of time you can. This is one of the hardest things about motherhood, for sure. I swear, weeding one flower bed took me like three days this week because I had to split it up each day and do as much as I could while I had a small window. Kind of pathetic!

Well honestly, the house is dirty but the kids are happy.! I am not much help on this score, but I wanted to offer you support. I have a four year old who doesn't nap either and I can get work done when the girls are asleep because my 4 year old loves to play video games. It is horrible I know, but if the toilet needs cleaning he has to be entertained somehow! Find a task that your 4 yo can do by herself and will keep her entertained. My SIL has her 5yo daughter stay in her room reading, coloring or playing with her toys quietly for at least 1.5 hours a day. She doesn't nap, but knows to stay in her room (where she can't hurt herself or the house) until her mom comes to get her. you might try something like that.

You really just have to learn to multi task. What i do is pick up around the house all through out the week, and then on Saturdays i do all the big stuff like bathrooms, dusting, vac. ect. and i found that I just have to break it up all through out the day. In the morning i make breakfast for my daughter and let her watch her cartoons so i can get to work on the kitchen (mopping, dishes ect.) Then while she eats lunch i do something else like dust or vac. During nap time i might take a little break or if I feel up to it I will keep going. after nap my daughter is pretty happy to watch a little t.v again and have a snack. So then i vac. or do the bathrooms. I usually stop for a while after that and play with my daughter and have dinner with her and my husband and then after bed i finish what ever else needs to be done. But by then I'm usually done with the work or only have 1 or 2 things left to do. It makes for a busy day but that's my Saturday routine. And remember that it's ok to let your house get a little messy but if you just pick up things here and there through out the week then it really makes cleaning day not so bad.

I agree with the fact that your four year old should be entertaining herself for the most part, and I work around the smaller ones. Clean the bathroom while the little ones are in the tub, just sweep before you put them in and use the water they splash out to mop up the floor, while the littlest is napping set your DD down with some books or dolls whatever it is that she likes to do and get the hard stuff done. But most important is to understand that there are just days where not everything you need to do is going to get done.

My four year old gave up naps so long ago! And then he gave up his "quiet time" too. But he still starts dragging at about 2pm, when my 2 year old takes his nap. I know lots of moms wouldn't agree with this, but he just wants to watch a movie for a while. When the movie's over, he hops right up, all energized again, and goes out to play.
And in the meantime, I can do whatever I need to do! I hear you on the painting. That's an impossible job to do with kids around! I usually get to relax a little myself, though. I've stopped seeing my job as to entertain my kids, and my 4 year old is really big on "helping" so he helps me with laundry, etc. and watches me clean the bathroom, etc. I think it's good for him to see how to do all that stuff.

I am a stay at home mom too, and I have just learned to multi task. My kids are about the same ages as yours. My daughter is 4 and my boy is two. So I do the dirty jobs and extra chores while they are entertained. They are old enough that they do not have to be entertained by mom the entire day, it is good for them to have some self stimulated play. So while they play books together, or color, I clean the bathroom. Or while they are eating breakfast I do the dishes. Or I just have them help. While I vacuum they get their vacuums out. While I weed, they ride their bikes in the yard. It really is okay if you are not spending every minute with them. It doesn't mean stick them in front of the TV for two hours while your scrub your house. It just means do little things here and there while they are entertained for a few minutes. Also your 4 year old is getting old enough to start helping you with little chores that will make her feel important. She can pull weeds, pick up toys, clean with a bottle of water on the wall while you clean at the same time.

Ok so the dirty stuff like mopping the kitchen washing the walls...... I have to say that if you want it to get done you need to be creative. The other day I got some water in a bucket with a little dish soap and tied dish towels onto my neighbors 4 year olds feet and let them sud-skate and then got clean towels and dried the floor. This week we are getting bath washcloth puppets and doing to same thing to the walls. Laundry is easy how often does your husband watch sports? Well tell him that you will let him do that with no interruptions if he will fold the laundry. Deal with him in a way that works for both of you. Mostly it is all easier said than done. You do your best and if everything isn't perfect it is ok. Find out what things drive you the most crazy and focus on them. Other than that you wait till they start school and get it all done while they are at school and enjoy the moments you have. They grow up too quick and you never get this time back. Good Luck. Be easy on yourself.

Have things for her to do; crafts, start helping her learn the alphabet, numbers. etc. spend time w/ her for 20 mins. or so at a time. When she has time with you, she will, theoretically have her bucket filled and be able to play by herself. Playdates save me. When my 4 yr. old girl has a friend over, they play for hours together with occasional breaks for snacks, etc. I check on them often, but they do very well together. I also have a mandatory quiet time when everyone goes into their room whether they are sleeping or not. Let your daughter know she needs to be in her room for 30 mins. or however long you decide, and can't come out until you go get her. Give her suggestions of what to occupy her time with. I usually read a story or 2 before I kiss my girl and go into my own room. This is usually during our baby's nap. I homeschool 2 older siblings as well and at 1:30 I need a break! Everyone goes into rooms for quiet time. This saves me and helps me get through the rest of the day. I also have my kids all help with the chores. Our house is far from spotless. I've had to learn to let some things go, but when I can't stand it any longer, we all chip in and help. I try to have them help me with the big jobs, and I use the "Speed Cleaning" method. We all have aprons and the tools we need and we get to work. I've trained them how to deep clean a room. The older kids clean their own bathrooms and help me w/ the kitchen, etc. We even have a day for the garage and car.
Hope that helps.