Time for Kids, Husband, Job, Home and Me - How?

Hi J., I feel like a total dope now, because I only have a two year old and I feel the same way;) I did what another person mentioned...each night I have one thing that gets done. When you try to focus on everything, it does get overwhelming, but when you decide Wed. night is vacuuming night, you know that it's going to get accomplished because it's one small task. I also signed up for a pilates class at the local dance studio. It's only 45 min., but I look forward to that time all week. It's a big physical and mental boost. Hang in there! There are lots of us out there to support you:)

Get a housekeeper or a cleaning lady. Worked wonders for us, especially since we have an autistic child at home. It is one less thing we have to deal with. I still have her even though I stay home now. This enables me to enjoy my children and really focus on helping our special needs child.

Good luck,
S.

A few suggestions that have worked with life with my 3 (each 19 months behind the next- now 4 1/2, 3, 16mos).

1) Cook double the amount and freeze the second meal.
2) Get a slow cooker (crockpot) and a good slow cooker recipe book.
3) When company comes, only clean the toilets, sinks, and empty the trashcans.
4) One night, after the boys are asleep, take a big trash bag and collect all the toys they don't really love or haven't touched and duplicate toys. Stick them in your trunk and drop the off at a donation center the next weekend. It makes it so much easier to "straighten up" with less things sitting around.

Good luck. It sounds like you have your hands full right now!
E.

Hi J.. I'm a work at home mom to two 5 and 2. My 5 year old was born with chronic kidney failure and with all the hospitalizations and doctors appointments I couldn't keep a job. I started selling Pampered Chef solely for the out factor. I needed a break and I a night out so to speak. IT has been the biggest blessing in my life besides my children. I work as much or as little as I want. I earn a nice pay check plus I am given the opportunity to earn my products. I keep no inventory and Pampered Chef generously rewards hosts for having shows at no expense to me. I love this company and wouldn't have my sanity without it. It aslo gives me the opportunity to stay hoem with my precious little ones. IF you'd like more information or just someone to talk to, email me at ____@____.com. S.

Hi J., Good luck to you. I will start off by saying.. time passes and the kids get older and it does get easier. Here is the key-- family!! I hope you have some because if they are not involved... You'll be like me; on antidepressants and diagnosed with ptsd (post traumatic stress disorder).. Now, my kids are 11,9 and 8 (and later, a daughter who will be 3) but it was hell back then and to top it all off... my third was diagnosed with autism... He is fine now because I worked like a endentured servant to find him help and did it all myself, well, me and God. Husband worked more hours than he should have and family was all around but no one helped.. and my mistake was, I should have asked them to help. But I didn't want to be a pain- they were my kids so I dealt... but I paid a price-- I mean I'm sane!! but still recovering from those years.. So get your mom to volunteer maybe every other friday night to come stay with the kids so you and your hubby can go get some sanity time alone.. even a drive alone with eachother will do!.. and if your mom or sister or best friend would just come over on Saturdays for a few hours.. that would give you a chance to relax and get a shower and do some things you want to get to but can't with three babies around. The kids will be in the Living room with auntie and they'll have someone else to run to besides you-- it will be a great thing for you and a big stress reliever!! God bless you-- I'd love to know if you're getting your tubes tied now-- :)

Alexis

Hi, mother of 5, grandmother of 2 here. Though 3 of my kids are grown, I still have an 9 and 10 year old at home as well as my daughter and my granddaughter whom I babysit. I did at one time work and take care of a household, and for me the best thing was to "choose your battles"..meaning there are some things that you need to let go for a minute. Laundry needs to be done, cooking needs to be done, if once or twice a week you can either eat out or just make a simple meal like franks and beans or something equally as simple do that. Don't expect to be able to get all the dusting, sweeping, mopping, vacuuming etc. done everyday of every week. As for you kids, try and change how you spend time with them like at bedtime, bathtime, with each child will give a some quality time, thats when you can talk to him ask him about his day etc, do that with each.. if they have separate rooms, try and read a story or get your husband to read to them so you can take a moment; also try and have a schedule..for me it helped that my kids knew that at 8 pm was bedtime and that gave me a couple of hours to myself, not time to clean up or pick up, just time to sit and breath. That is one thing I had to learn was that in the evening when I put the kids to bed was to instead of finding something to do in the house was to stop...sit down...and give myself some time to regroup.

I hope these suggestions help. Good Luck.

It is a struggle and you need to realize that it is going to be impossible for the next few years to have a totally clean house. No such thing, not with 3 boys!!!
I have twin boys(15 yrs old). Life is much easier now and I have that time to myself as they are old enough to watch themselves.
My advice is that you will have to "make plans" with your husband for together time because a sitter will probably be required. As for your own time, maybe you and your husband could come to some kind of agreement where he keeps the boys a night or 2 so you can get out of the house and do something you enjoy, then your husband can also get his alone time and you can stay home and care for them while he is out doing something he enjoys.
It is a difficult and trying time when the kids are young and require so much time and attention. It will get better with time.
Hope this helps.
M.

J.,
My name is K.. My husband and I have 3 boys 12, 10 and 4.
I run a small business out of my home in hampton. I can tell you unless you and your husband make some rules it will be chaotic and crazy. Find time for date night and enjoy a hot dinner with no kids once a week. Teach the kids clean up time and get them to start helping with small things, they will love it and want to help more.

Learn to let somethings go. So maybe your house will be a little dirtier tan you would like, or your kids eat a frozen pizza too often. So what, they will survive! Also try some date nights at home after the kids go to bed! I know this is easier said then done, but when I do this I enjoy my kids and husband more!

With 3 kids under school age you must be paying a ton in childcare. Would it work for you to consider either mom or dad taking a few years off and being a stay at home parent? Many people with your situation actually find it is about the same financially to have a parent stay home who can take care of the preschool children, make home cooked meals, not have to own 2 cars, not need 2 "work wardrobes", etc.

The best advice I can give is to get orginized. Write a daily, realistic schedule. You don't have to stick to it to the letter, but get down on paper what needs to be done every day, how much time each thing will take, and find out if there are enough hours in the day. I have a different schedule for when my husband works, or is off, one for Saturdays, and one for Sundays. Also, (and this may or may not work for you,) instead of trying to pick a day to clean the house, I do one chore every day. Laundry on Monday, clean the kitchen on Tuesday, vaccuum on Wednesday, ect... leaving my weekends chore free. I used to feel like I was taking on too much, but once I saw it on paper, it seemed manageable. And I don't stick to it perfectly. I just use it as a guide. Also, they make a "mom's life" calander. With places for keeping activities, appointments, and every thing else. You can get it at wal-mart or most book stores. Good luck.

Hi J.,
The first thing I can offer is take a deep breath! You have to do what is best for you. Everyone is different with their tolerance levels. I have 2 boys 14 1/2 moths apart and my daughter came along 5 years later (all planned). I have not worked a full time job since we have had children. Someone did mention to evaluate your finances and see if you could make ends meet realistically on one income. A dear friend of mine struggled with leaving her second child in daycare & she was able to leave her teaching job - which she loved - to stay at home and take care of her 2 kids. Anyway, your life has definately changed and will never be the same. I just try to keep my head above water. Occasionally I have someone come help me clean the house. Mostly I focus on high traffic areas first & the rest will come when I can get to it. Remember, your children will never be babies again. The house can be cleaned tomorrow. I hope this helps. I wish you all the best! :) A.

Let me know what you find out... I'm in the same situation.
C. 30 yo widowed and recently engaged mother of 3 girls, 4, 6, 8