Thumb Sucking Please Advise

Updated on October 10, 2019
A.B. asks from Anchorage, AK
10 answers

My 9 yo boy is still sucking his thumb in the evening before sleep. He has done it since he was 4 months old. I have been through a nasty divorce and I am sure it was also hard for my son. How can I make him stop? Any suggestion ? Thank you!

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S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

if he's been doing it his whole life, it's probably not connected to the divorce. if it's worse, or he's exhibiting other anxiety behaviors, i'd focus on helping him cope with the anxiety, not on breaking 'bad' habits.

because unless his teeth are shifting, what's the harm? he's not doing it in school or in public. it's just a sleep thing.

you could try painting on the nasty-tasting stuff, i guess.

but i think you should be glad he knows how to soothe himself to sleep and leave him alone.

khairete
S.

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N.K.

answers from Miami on

My sister had this issue well into her teens. Apparently, it was some sort of self-soothing habit to comfort herself during tough times, kind of like a nervous habit of biting your nails. Instead of ignoring it or putting nail polish etc., why not figure out what is the root cause of the problem, address it, and fix it? Family counseling or individual therapy for him might be beneficial.

4 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Our son was a thumb sucker until he was about 6 years old.
I've heard of a few that keep it up till around 7 yrs.
It's hard because it's not like you can take their thumbs away.

Seeing as you've had some stress family wise perhaps your son has just regressed for a short while to his comfort routine - and if that's the case I wouldn't worry about it too much.
Reassure him that the divorce was not his fault - kids always think they caused it - and you are there for him.
We had a bedtime reading routine that we kept up for years even past the time our son could read on his own.
Eventually we just read our own books next to each other at bedtime - it's just relaxing and comforting for everyone.

I would not try to stop the thumb sucking directly.
I'd leave it alone, just comfort him and try to get as much stability into his life as possible.
Eventually he'll give it up on his own.

4 moms found this helpful

D.B.

answers from Boston on

If he's always done this since 4 months of age, I think it's just his habit and his way of calming down. Mine did the same thing - never liked a pacifier, always liked his thumb. He only did it at night from kindergarten on and I think it is just normal self-soothing. Mine had one thumb in, and the other hand was wrapped around the corner of a blanket. I'm not sure it has anything to do with the messy divorce, so I'm not sure you should put that much emphasis on it. I don't see how you can stop it, and I don't know what you should. Mine gave it up, he's 30, he's secure and a productive adult. I'd try to relax about it - sounds like you have plenty of other things going on. I'm sure your boy is fine.

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M.G.

answers from Portland on

We had a sleepover this past weekend, and the number of baby blankets, etc. that came out surprised me (tween age).

I think it's more common for kids to need to self soothe than most people recognize, and maybe even more so these days.

I remember a relative of mine using that paint on nail polish stuff. I think (?) it worked. Not sure. Years ago now.

I think of how many self soothing things us adults have (tea, etc.) and so long as he does it at night and not in public, and has options to talk about anything bothering him, and given other options to reduce stress (if that's what is causing it) .. I wouldn't fret too much. Kids pick up on that and sometimes it backfires. You also don't want him to feel ashamed.

My relative is an adult and definitely gave it up at some point.

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B.A.

answers from Minneapolis on

Don’t worry so much about “making” him stop. I would tell him not to suck his thumb in public, but if he’s in bed and finds it a comfort to get to sleep, just let him be. Focus your attention on making him feel loved and valuable. You can start teaching him breathing and other relaxing techniques. What he needs is to feel secure and learn other methods of calming himself. Insight Timer is a free app that has some great kids meditations.

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H.M.

answers from Memphis on

I was having the same problem with my child. My child doctor told me to try some mavala stop its like nail polish but it worked for my daughter.

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R.M.

answers from Albany on

I think I would just let him be. At first my daughter would make a bit of a fuss over our 1 year old sucking her thumb. Then she had the idea of letting her suck her thumb but in bed only. She has accepted that very well. So, if your son sucks his thumb only in bed, that is a step in the right direction. Apparently to break a habit, it has to be replaced by another. So if he is watching TV, let's say, and he feels the urge to suck his thumb, could he play with a fiddle toy or sip some water? Keeping him physically active every day is also a good way to work off tension and make him better able to relax.

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

What I noticed with my son was that it was just an automatic reflex for his thumb to pop into his mouth when he got very sleepy and started to doze off, so as silly as it might sound I had him put socks on his hands when he went to sleep, after a few nights the reflex passed.

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R.P.

answers from Tampa on

I have a brother in law that was very concerned about our 4 year old sucking her thumb.. he is a Dds. So I strongly suggest putting that nail polish on.. we did it for our daughter and it made a huge difference. ( needs to be done daily) it’s sold on amazon for under $10 or so. But (I will add that my daughter had not dealt with the stress of you child.) I am very surprised his dr or Dds did not insist on you breaking the habit much earlier.

He might be a sensitive child and took it hard and now sucking went from just a habit and help fall asleep to a stress and comfort. If you think he needs someone to talk to ask his pediatrician to recommend a specialist for children.

If it’s just a habit to help fall asleep..he is old enough to stop and just needs help in breaking the habit. Nail polish or finger guard ( Amazon about $15). It is really bad for the teeth and health of mouth and might even change speech and jaw.

Transfer his habit to a toy he can hug or toys he can cuddle with ( sell a lot on tv or local pharmacy) but break it soon and be consistent ( if nail polish). Lots of luck.

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