Throwing Food, Eating at the Table... 20 Months

I actually answered this question about a year ago. Here's what I said then and still agree with now:

I definitely know how frustrating throwing food can be, but hang in there. My son went through the tip the plate, throw the food, toss the cup phase as well. It was not fun. Every time he would drop something or go to drop something I would react. Either by saying, "Put your hand down." or "Don't throw that food."...you get the picture. It never worked. So, I turned to my mom for help. She simply said, "Stop reacting." Toddlers love a good reaction from mom and dad. It gives them a little power and also becomes somewhat of a game. My mom told me that the second we saw that he was going to throw food we should immediately take his plate and cup away and say, "We don't throw our food. Food is for eating." I then was to wait a couple of minutes and then place a piece of food in front of him and offer him a sip from his cup and explain that until he could sit at the table like a big boy he would not be getting his plate and cup back. We tried it. He dropped his food. We did not react at all. We did not bend down to pick up the food on the floor. We simply took his plate and cup, let him deal with that for a minute and then gave him a piece of food. Yes, meal times were longer because of this one piece of food at a time strategy, but after doing this for about a week we are now the proud parents of a non-food thrower. Well, 98% of the time at least. :) Good luck and remember don't pick up that food right away.

Totally normal and developmentally appropriate.Just don't give him more than one or two pieces of food at a time. Problem solved. For some kids that age, it's too stimulating for them to have a whole bunch of food in front of them, they REALLY CAN'T help themselves from playing with it and throwing it, that behavior is part of their development. No one should expect that kind of self control from a child under 2 or 3yo. Have your husband get a book on child development, his expectations are outta whack.

Hi J.
I agree it is frustrating to have a toddler, but they are toddlers and they don't have enough vocabulary to voice all the things they are feeling. It is a phase and trust not just me but others you have seen who say they will grow out of it. In the mean time, please do not stop him from eating because of it. Please do try to feed him. 2 yo's in spite of what seems to be popular opinion can still be fed and will eat more food, less messily when fed.
As far as when you are out for dinner, feed him ahead of time. Don't try to feed him a real meal at a restaurant, there is too much to look at. Bring snacks he will enjoy. Expect to cut up something he sees & wants. Make sure the seat is AOK for his age.
Enjoy and tip the waitress extra for the mess. She has to be there anyway, and she will appreciate the extra tip and want to see you come back. That was the advice of the MD when our twins were 2 and it worked fantastic. It acknowledges that you know your children made a bigger mess than most people. Since I didn't have to buy them meals because I fed them ahead and she gave them crackers or whatever I gave her their meal money. When we came the next time, that waitress never missed a beat, and neither did we miss her tip. They got older and learned to behave with instruction and wisdom.
God bless you and give that wonderful son lots of love and instruction, and when he does what you have instructed Praise him.

Yep, totally normal.
To echo the others, stop reacting. He's playing, and he's little. He will not "know better", that's something that you have to teach him right now.

Give him a piece or two and let him eat. When he starts to throw, take the plate away. Put it back to try to get him to eat more...rinse and repeat. At 20mos, I still fed my son a lot myself to actually get food into him. I "helped" him with a fork or spoon. I'd load it up and give it to him to put in his mouth. If he threw it, I'd take it away and do it myself.

As for eating out, I can't say I have a solution, other than going to places that are very kid friendly. DH and I rarely eat out with our kids for this reason.

My 17 month old does this! We take the food away and get her down from her seat. She cries, then comes back and we put her in again. It seems to work for the most part but sometimes she does it again. I think it is very typical behavior...unfortunately!!

Hi there. Just one suggestion. When u go out to eat maybe bring something easy and not messy for him to eat. My daughter has food allergies and we bring her chix nugg and some type of veggie like baked sweet potato pieces. Maybe some fruit snacks or teddy grahams and just give a little at a time until he eats what he has.

My lo doesnt really throw food or utensils much but when she gets bored starts smearing stuff everywhere. I am trying to move her to a booster so i can use the highchair for my 7 month old but hate thinking about the mess to clean up! Hope he gets better with mealtime soon.

Although my son never did this I'll just tell you what worked for me. First of all when you go through these bad times it seem like they'll never learn. Keep in mind they're smarter than you think. Always explain things to him and tell him his consequences and most important, follow through. Perhaps he sees how upset he makes you and his dad and he wants it over and over again. Tell him it's time to eat and we need to be nice to our food. We don't throw, spit and smash our food. Show him, say see eat like this and show him how. And when he does something good, tell him, too. Don't just point out the wrong, but praise the good. Maybe buy him his own little dinnerware set, my son loved it. You could purchase at Target and Walmart. Also, I always gave my son a napkin. He is 10 and till this day if he doesn't have one he'll ask for it. When he was 3 and in preschool and I walked in to pick him up. The lunch lady came up to me and said, "Oh my gosh, is this your son?" I was afraind to say, yes thinking he did something wrong. She told me at lunch that day they served spaghetti. Well you know how messy that is, right? She went on, your son raised his hand and said, "May I please have another napkin?" She said should couldn't believe that a 3 year old would do that. Needless to say, I was very proud of him. Be patient, work with him and home so when you do go out it'll work. Your
husband needs to be on board with you. Give it a little time, it'll happen. Also, look into Seasame Street or something of that nature for videos about eating. I'm sure they have them. Also, some simple little books. Good Luck!