Three Year Old Suddenly Waking in Middle of Night Crying

You could try a little kid sleeping bag? Or even a large pillow case if she's small enough. Might be fun to take her to the store and pick out a fun sleeping bag though.

She might not remember having any nightmares but this is a prime age for starting to have them.
At 3 their imaginations really take off and this doesn't stop just because they are sleeping.
They can sleep walk, have night terrors, suddenly worry about monsters in their closet or under their bed.
A lot of the time they just wake and feel a need to be near an adult.
I really think this is a leftover from our caveman days - unattended young in the wild is prey and toddlers that are near adults tended to survive.
Often a child will settle down if they can sleep near you so maybe you can put a sleeping bag next to your bed and if she wakes up in the night then she can come sleep next to your bed.
Our son would wake up and just need me and it was exhausting for everyone.
We'd take him back to his own bed an it took forever to settle him down.
Eventually he got smart and figured if he woke us up he'd have to go back to his bed - so he just tucked himself in at the foot of our bed without waking anyone up.
We'd wake up and he'd be sleeping and hanging onto my foot but we all got a lot more sleep when he started to do this.
They do outgrow it eventually but it can take awhile.

Some of mine at that age did this. I think it is common (?) to wake in the night at that age.

I lay out a comforter on the ground in our bedroom and said they were allowed to come in and crash on that, not allowed to wake us.

It was a short phase. It wan't so comfortable to entice them (their beds were more cozy), and yet it was a safe retreat because they were waking with night terrors (they didn't know this - all they knew was they were waking all of a sudden and not knowing why, and being alarmed).

I blocked off the top of our stairs with a baby/safety gate, and we put up night lights to mark the way to our bedroom. We slept, they settled down, and we didn't make a fuss.

The phases lasted a very short while. I kept that comforter folded in our room for that duration (aged about 3-4 years) and they knew they could come in. It seemed to do the trick. They outgrew it.

** I should add, mine were not quite coherent when this went on. So I don't know if it's the same thing. Yours saying tuck my feet in and waking repeatedly (3-4 times a night) may not be the same thing. Maybe try socks on her feet (those cozy socks they have out now), making sure she hasn't kicked off blankets (you don't say what the deal is with the tucking in - is she untucked?), or turning heat up if she's cold. It's been cold here where we are (January). She might be just be waking from being chilly.

I'm not sure what's waking her. It could be a nightmare that she doesn't remember. Nothing you can do about that.

What she does about it is another problem. I agree you can't enable this long term - especially because you're pregnant but not only that. I'd give her a specific spot on your floor where she can curl up but only if she doesn't wake you or keep talking. One of my stepdaughters had a fold-out foam chair for kids who needed to nap but wouldn't go to bed after a certain age. They had "quiet time" in their chair and usually dropped off. It's sort of like a convertible couch but easy for a kid to unfold - it has a back and 2 arms, but the cushion unfolds so it looks like a chaise lounge. She kept an afghan on it and they'd snuggle in. That might be a starter for you, although she may want to sleep their every night and that's a no-go. So maybe just a small camp pillow and a comforter on the floor would work.

You could consider a kid-sized sleeping bag which would keep her totally tucked in. But I'm not sure if that's really what her problem is. When the baby comes, she's probably going to get out of sorts, so maybe this is a good time to invest in a 2nd set of comfort measures and to develop some new habits.

Whatever you do, I would use the same words every night, and few of them. "Time for sleep. Love you." Not much more. Both you and her father should say exactly the same things, not ask anymore if she's okay (since she is and is able to say if she isn't, and make it clear that you are there for comfort but not for conversation. If it gets boring, maybe she'll settle down.

Good luck! You need your rest! So does she.

hard to say what's causing it. 3 year olds are wild. could be cold feet, could be anxiety about the impending baby, could be nightmares, could be nothing explicable.

i think i'd take her out and have her pick some wonderful snuggly socks to sleep in, Big Sister Socks. make it an occasion.

i think a middle ground between giving her lots of attention and totally ignoring her is the way to go. tell her before she goes to bed that if she wakes up she can come in and sleep in a nest on your floor (make one) but she may not wake you up.

if she wakes you up she just gets escorted back to bed in silence.

may take some repetition, unfortunately.

good luck!

khairete
S.

Kids do that. Seriously. It's very normal. I get that you are concerned that if you come to her in the middle of the night that she will expect you to do it every time, but you have to understand that she is calling you in the middle of the night because she needs reassurance from you. If you consistently respond to her, she will begin to believe that you are nearby if she needs you and she won't feel the need to see you and feel your touch just to know that you are there for her.

Everyone wakes in the middle of the night, but most of us just roll over or pull the covers back over us and go back to sleep.

We little ones wake in the middle of the night, sometimes they do the same - wiggle around a bit, get comfortable again and go back to sleep. But most go through phases where it's harder. Since she's 3, my guess would be that her imagination is growing and she is more aware of things. She probably probably had a bad dream and doesn't realize why she's waking. Still, the negative feelings - sad, scared, lonely - can linger.

What she needs from you is reassurance. She probably just needs a quick hug or a kiss, some type of touch that tells her that everything is ok and Mommy is right there.

I understand that you are tired and pregnant and worn out, but you are still her mom - 24/7. She doesn't stop needing you just because it's nighttime. So you have to figure out a way to deal with this. Maybe this is something your husband can take on (since he's not pregnant). Or maybe you make a bed for her on your floor so that she can come into your room if she needs to.

You have to remember that from her perspective, she called for you and called for you and called for you and you didn't answer. Of course she was furious with you! Would you have ignored her for 10 minutes during the day? I know it's hard to wake in the middle of the night to tend to her needs, but how did you expect her to feel?

You have to know that by not responding to her, you are actually making this worse because she doens't know if you are going to be there for her if she needs you.

Take her to the pediatrician and have her checked for otitis media (ear infection). Often presents itself with shouts and crying out in the night.

At first I though you might be dealing with night terrors but she seems too aware for it to be that. I think you've been given the right advice by these other moms. Good luck. This will pass.

I understand completely. I did the pallet on the floor in my bedroom but when they came in and flopped around it woke me up and I rarely go back to sleep if someone wakes me up. I also know if my sleep rhythm gets out of whack, it usually requires an aleve pm for 2-3 nights to get my sleep cycle straightened out.

So I have some thoughts. If her feet are getting cold in the night how about footed pj’s? My kids were in those in the winter until age 5-6. Also wondering if one of those weighted blankets might be helpful. Do you run a fan or any “white noise”? Possibly doing an additional sheet width wise across her legs? I know “wrapping” a baby before sleep helps them sleep better/longer I don’t know if tucking a secondary sheet width wise might give her the same benefit.

I know you’re exhausted. Neither of my kids were great sleepers. I hope you’re able to find something that works well for you both.

It is probably happening because she knows you are pregnant. She can’t figure out another way to cope with it.

Have you talked to your ped about the best way to handle it? That might help you.

What I would do (and did do) is go in once and say “Go to sleep” and walk out. Nothing more. When my son came in my room, I told him to go back to bed. Sometimes he would lay in the floor in his room. That was okay - eventually they will sleep where it is most comfortable - the bed. (Just not in mine!) This didn’t last long. He finally slept through the night again.