Three Year Old Not Sleeping

Have you considered co-sleeping? It might allow both of you to get some much needed rest.

It really sounds like he's feeling insecure about things in his life. He has this need every time he wakes to feel you near him. As frustrating as that can be (and it can be unbelievably frustrating), he still needs you right now.

If you were to allow him to sleep with you, you might find that he wakes less frequently, that he goes right back to sleep much more easily and that, while it can sometimes be annoying to have a little one in your bed, you'll find you really do get more sleep.

If you choose to co-sleep, you will be teaching him in a very real way that you are there for him, always. That will translate into a boy who knows you are there for him, even in a different room. That more secure boy, will sleep better in his own bed.

He needs you right now. If you can find a way to meet his needs now, he will become less needy very soon.

Good luck!

I will probably get some flack for this but...if I was only getting 2 hours of sleep, single mom w/ two little ones, I would just bring him in bed w/ me. There is NOTHING wrong with having your sweeties with you in bed. He must be having a problem with SOMETHING that he can't express. Believe me...he will get over it in time, but for now maybe he just needs to be WITH someone. If you are adverse to having him in your bed, how about putting him in with his sibling? They probably go to bed at the same time...tuck them in together My kids were pretty close in age too. When the youngest was about 18 months, I put them all in one double bed...three across. They slept like kittens. Sounds like you all need some sleep. I know it's "out there" to never bring your kids in bed with you...whoever made up THAT never had this issue! So, Mama...just love on your little guy, comfort him in the night...don't be stuck on what "they" say is the best thing to do which usually leads to alot of crying, little sleep and a little one who could be just plain frightened in the night. Keep us posted!

Sounds like it's time for a sleep study.

There may not be any kind of illness or infection going on, but that doesn't mean there isn't something more serious going on.

My 9yo just had one recently (breathing issues) and talking with the staff around age 3-4 is when MOST kids finally get brought in after 1-3 years of terrible sleep because their parents are losing it. Come to find, there's usually an easy "fix"... but it takes the 50 wire "robot suit" to track what's happening to figure out exactly WHAT is up.

Since this is so exhausting for you, and I assume your son is close to you...
How is your Ex, his Dad... handling this, when your son is at his house???
Does your son, do this at his house too?
I am just curious.
I assume, he does it there, too?
Or not?

Is your 3 year old verbal?
Does he say anything is 'wrong'?

Maybe just let him sleep in your room. Have a spot on the floor, for him.

Does he nap?
Can he?

I'm so sorry this is going on, for you and your sons. I'm a single parent as well, raised my older two on my own and now my little guy who is almost 31 months, and it's hard sometimes.

You say "I have read more books that I can count and done a million and one "expert" advice on how to get him to sleep and nothing." But I have to ask, how long were you consistent with any of the methods? I ask not because I'm chastising you, I'm not, but because, particularly at this point, no method is going to work immediately, say in one night. It will likely take weeks or months before he is going to sleep easily and sleep all night every night. Whatever method you choose you have to commit to sticking to it until it works.

Also, since his doctor has checked him out and he is fine, what did the doctor recommend to get him to sleep on his own through the night? If he or she can offer no advice they should be able to refer you to a behavioral/sleep specialist for your son.

It basically sounds as if your son never learned to self-soothe himself to sleep or back to sleep as an infant, so you have to begin at the beginning. You need to understand what you may be doing that is causing this to continue to happen, and change some things around. If he can only sleep when you are holding him, he'll have to unlearn that and to eventually go to sleep in his own. He'll also need to learn that when you come to check on him when he wakes up in the middle of the night that once he's calmed down he needs to put himself to sleep and not run after you. You also need to realize that he more than likely isn't going to like any of it at first, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't do it, you're doing it for him, yourself and his brother.

You may have read this book already but in case you haven't, it offers a no-cry sleep solution for toddlers and preschoolers, not babies:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0071444912/elizabe...
One idea from the author: "You can invite the "morning fairy" into your house - she is the tooth fairy's sister. She leaves small prizes outside the hall of young children who sleep in their beds all night and don't wake Mommy."

Here's some articles to give you ideas:
http://www.babycenter.com/0_6-major-sleep-mistakes-parent...
http://www.babycenter.com/0_does-your-toddler-have-a-slee...
http://www.babycenter.com/0_bedtime-battles_12321.bc
http://www.babysleepsite.com/toddlers/limit-setting-toddler/

One last thought, think about getting him a Cloud B Nightlight that projects constellations on his ceiling. You can turn it on when you put him down to bed, it stays on for 45 minutes, and if he wakes up in the middle of the night once he's calmed down you can turn it on again as you leave his room. There's different styles to choose from:
http://www.amazon.com/Cloud-Twilight-Constellation-Night-...

I hope you can get this under control and get some sleep, God bless.

Maybe it's a vitamin or mineral deficiency? I've started taking calcium/magnesium before bedtime just to get a more restful sleep. Calcium helps. It's like the proverbial glass of warm milk to help you sleep. But during sleep it works to strengthen the bones.

I'd look into finding a calcium/magnesium supplement geared for his age. When it starts kicking in get one for yourself too. And grab a daytime nap now and then.