Three Boys in the Mall

they didn't scream and fight because you spoil them or let them run amok. they did it because of their age and temperament. we all have bad days, even kids. sometimes my 4 yr old (the one who has always thrown the biggest fits) will have a horrible day of crying and yelling over everything that doesn't go his way and hit his brother at every chance. sometimes it's because he's tired or hungry. sometimes it's just been too long since he got to wrestle dad or climb something or run. sometimes it's because of something that happened the day before that he's still working through the emotions of. sometimes i never find out what it is and i end the day crying because of everyone losing their temper. and then the next day is better. don't blame yourself for this. and don't let your husband blame you for it either. if it was all your doing, you would have been able to stop it as well. it sounds to me like you were trying to solve the problem, not ignore it, so you were doing the right things. it's hard for kids to shop for someone else and not get something for themselves, but it is part of life and a lesson in selflessness that everyone needs to learn. next time, you could try one parent taking the one boy shopping while the other two are home or shopping in a different store or different section of the store. you can meet back up later to get eachothers' opinions before making a purchase. remember to check your watches often to see if their crankiness could be from hunger, sleepiness, etc. sometimes we lose track of time while shopping. bring some of the kids' own money so they can choose something to buy for themselves. i would not make their purchase dependent on their good behavior, just let them know they have 25 cents (or whatever) to buy what they want when they get to the store. you guide them in their purchase, but they still get a choice. for instance, we don't let our kids have big gum balls, but we point out to them the machines of candies we think are appropriate for their age. good luck! next time they may behave completely different.

I suggest taking the boys shopping individually. I know it's more time and work, but each boy gets you all to himself for a couple hours and he's less likely to look at all the stuff the other boys are getting and get jealous. If the child has a tantrum during your personal shopping experience with you, tell him that you're all done and take him home.

I am a mom with the same age kids, boy 5, girl 3, and baby almost 1. I think it's just an age thing and it will get better. Plus it's summertime and they're bored. I think motivation and new activities or creative projects might be the thing that will get you through! Sometimes thinking of a positive approach while taking a little more energy at first, can be more effective than the threats and discipline. When all that fails, I just pray.

As a time-taught Grandma here is what I would do: Leave 2 of the kids home with their Dad. Take one(start with the oldest) to the mall. Give hime the guidelines of good behavior while still in the car. That way, the other kids won't distract him and he will know what is expected. While shopping, continue to teach him how to behave and how to shop. Perhaps reward him with an ice cream cone or something when you are done.
Assure the other kids that they will each have a turn. You will be able to handle one on one and you can give the child your undivided attention. Kudos to you for caring and tryng to teach your children how to behave in a store. I see too many Moms who let their kids run rampant.