I am struggling with what I am feeling and would like some feedback. I had to change careers and have been happily working for the company I am currently in for the past 1.5 years. I am however a single mother of a wonderful 3 yr old and myself going on 45 yrs of age. I have had a lot to contend with in the last three years; a surprise baby, find new employment, sell a home, move, court/custody issues and so on and so .....oh and sleep deprivation :) So all that being said, I went on my scheduled vacation last summer from work and my replacement (coverage) was a young 20ish girl. I have nothing against her and think she is sweet. This January I wanted to take some more initiative with my boss and told hiim I could make up a graph/chart with all of our stats. His response was ok...wow me. Well February came and we got very busy and I told him that I would like to get on that project and he said well I need it in a few days so I will have to get some one else on it. So today I noticed that he has gotten the replacement from last summer up in his office making the graph discussed previously. I also know that she has just received a new position so I am wondering how she would have the time to do this. I feel threatened and phased out. Or am I being much too sensitive? I do get the feeliing that he is not particularly satisfied with me but have no particulars as to why as my work is good.
I can understand how you feel. I would talk with your boss. Tell him what your goals are at work and that you felt you could have done the project. Tell him you would like to discuss your future at work and set a time. You need to be direct and know what you want and ask him to help you get there. Focus on your career goals, not the "replacement". Let that come up if it does. Good luck.
You say you talked to him about doing this project in January, but you didn’t and brought it back up in February. You’re saying you have been really busy. Could it be that he feels this project would take away from the pertinent work you are doing for him right now? Maybe it’s not that he doesn’t feel you’re competent to do it but feels that it is not as important for you to do as his other work?
If you’re thinking this cannot be the case then you can just go in and ask him. “I offered to do the charts but I am aware that you delegated it to “Sally. Do you have a concern with me performing this task?” or however you want to word it. Just make sure not to focus on this girl and sound insecure. Go in with confidence.
Hopefully he will be honest and you 2 can clear the air.
Let us know what happens!
You're not being too sensitive-everyone wants to feel like they are needed and valuable-and have something to contribute. The 20 something just has more time, is less encumbered, and that's ok-see how things move forward and just keep focusing on your little child-you are doing a Herculean job and your mothering will pay off better than any employer ever could! Chin up!
Completely agree with DM.
He said it, he wants to be wowed by your work and for one, and this is coming from my manager self, when an employee inititates any sort of project that impresses a manager like myself and when its executed thats the whipped cream, but when its presented before you need/expect it thats the cherry! you did only the initiating and didnt follow through on something YOU asked to do...get me here? Dont feel 'phased out' but you better step up your game. If you say your going to do something, do it. and thats with anything in life.
Hi J.
I also agree with D.M and just to add to make sure you stay completely professional and do not get emotional in your conversation with him.
Also keep working to your high standard to make sure there is no room for him to have any issues with you.
Also stay polite and professional with this girl.
Wishing you the best of luck
B.
Here's the deal...you suggested something you wanted to take on, your boss said yeah for you, go do it and you didn't do it. So...he got someone else to do it. I totally get the having to leave on time thing, take kids to dr appt during work...I do it all myself. But, if I have work I need to finish, I do it at night at home once the kids are in bed. Being a working mom sucks, but you either have to not care about the advancement and focus on just getting a paycheck or (IMHO) your kids the short end of the stick. For me, it's about doing the work I need to do and getting out the door on time to get home to what is really important to me. Maybe try to find value and worth there instead...kisses and hugs from your kids are so much more rewarding than additional projects at work...again, IMHO.
Good luck.
-M
DM's answer is very good. Talk to your boss. Be direct, be professional, focus on your career goals. The only thing I have to add is watch your back. Keep a friendly professional relationship but do not share any information with the young lady. I don't mean work information that must be shared, I mean don't get close to her, don't give her anything she can use against you. Sometimes when our instincts have us feeling threatened, there's a good reason for it, because instincts are there to protect us. Good luck with everything, it sounds like you've had enough difficulties so I hope everything at work comes out okay.
Well, I really don't mean to scare you, but I knew my job was over when my boss starting going on "my" customer visits and not telling me anything. I knew in my gut that I was going to get laid off - usually my gut is right...if yours is you may be in trouble. If you open up the lines of communication and ask it may make you feel better and at the very least find out what you need to do to impress him and keep your job. Ask for a performance review! He needs to find value in you - so put that thinking cap on and come up with a new project and just do it! Surprise him and show him that you are still awesome!
Good luck to you!
