Okay I have been with my daughters dad for 3.5 years and i love him but I cant seem to stop thinking about my first love. Like i think there is still something there on my end atleast and i just cant seem to shake it. I was wondering if anyone had any idea on how to shake it. Like i did tell him how i felt and everything but that did not seem to help.
Elean. I love my dAUGHTER more than words can expres and I would NEVER do something that would harm her at all or make her unhappy.
you put on your big girl panties, stop the conversations with him, love and appreciate the man your with. stop playing with fire, no good will come of that. the grass isn't always greener on the other side, and if it is, it's cuz it's full of sh--!!! good luck!!!
I was one given really great advice. A good friend reminded me, that while the grass is always greener on the other side, it's only because it's astro turf.
It's really normal to look back and see only the good and compare that to any problems or shortcomings in your current relationship, but relationships take work, and if we walk away every time it gets tough because something from the past has taken hold, then you will always be walking away.
You told WHO how you feel?
Your husband or your "first" love?
Honesty is great, but I hope you didn't tell your husband and I'm wondering why you would tell the other guy after being married for almost 4 years.
Feelings are true and valid, but have you considered that you might be unduly idealizing things? Perhaps you are remembering things as being a little more great than they actually were?
Sure....life was different then. No child, no husband.
Would you really trade what you have NOW to go backwards?
Honey, let's face it. After 4 years of living with your "first love" and seeing him for all his imperfections on a daily basis and doing his laundry and smelling his morning breath, he probably wouldn't be looking all that great right about now either.
Very, VERY few of us go on to build families and lives with the very first person we fell in love with. It's okay to say to yourself, "I will always feel love for that person. What a wonderful part of my life. Like so many other things, I wouldn't be the person I am today if I hadn't experienced any of that. I can be thankful that it's part of what brought me to where I am now in my life and that I've moved so far beyond it."
Please don't let memories of an unfettered past romance hinder you from seeing the beauty of the investment you have in your family now.
Don't do anything you might regret.
Just my opinion and best wishes.
You told your current boyfriend how you feel? Because that wouldnt be good! lol. Just remember, you broke up for a reason, and it was probably not meant to be!
It takes time and a true investment in your current relationship. If you and your partner are loving toward each other and put each other first, then it is easy to let all those memories of boyfriends past go. But it does take time and also the clear intent that you are investing your whole heart into your current relationship. That's just how it has been for me.
It may be something that's always in the back of your mind, but you have to remember why your no longer in that relationship. If you were meant to be you'd still be together. Think about the reasons why your still with your current man, why do you love him. Concentrate on the love you feel now and remember the negative things on why your not with your old love. If you have a good thing going appreciate what you have. good luck!
I think everyone will be connected (in mind) to their first love/date forever... that is not something that you just shake! LOVE is a choice and you need to LOVE your daughters daddy... make it work! It might be up to you not him :) You can do it!!! There is a reason you are NOT with your first love anymore.
My suggestion to you to "shake this" is to get a journal and write about it. Write your feelings about him, everything that you would ever want to tell him. Get it all out on paper. Then write a goodbye letter to him--everything you need to say. (it sounds like you need closure to me in order to move on with your b/f) and then go somewhere special, by yourself and burn it. Its a very effective way of dealing with loss,grief, and unfinished business. Do it and move on. Good luck!
M
imagine what this would do to your children. I don;t understand mothers these days. My children's needs come first. They are young and cannot take of themselves. I never had time to think about anyone else when my kids were younger. If you really want to look for the right answer open up your Bible and read what God's word says about it.
