This Boy Is Going to Be the Death of Me, Lol!

My husband and I were vehemently opposed to CIO. We thought it was cruel and that any parents who did it were selfish and more concerned about themselves, not the baby. Babies cry to communicate, right?

Then we had our second child... HORRIBLE sleeper! It was EXACTLY what you have described with your son! But being stubborn know-it-alls, my husband and I continued to believe that CIO was not right for our family.

That was until he was a year old. Enough already.

We "Ferberized" him. It was a week of hell. But we did it and it was hard on EVERYONE. We all hated each other. Our daughter was miserable, my husband and I were snippy with each other, but then one night, something really amazing happened: He went to sleep. And all was right with the world!

Bite the bullet. Take a week and prep everyone. Set ground rules so that you and your husband are on the same page and be consistent! Your little guy will be fine, it's just gonna be a bumpy ride! Go for it and good luck!

PS- Check your local library for the book. It's an easy read.

I think it's possible but it will take longer and be more dramatic. I am a supporter of Ferberizing, so I'd say if you feel comfortable with it, go for it, but it will be tough. You have to commit to it and not go back and forth or "rescue" him when he's crying. I am also a believer in sleep for everyone ;) so I think you can do it. It would probably take a week or so?? It sounds like maybe he's ready for more structure too if he's doing unpleasant behaviors with you still in the room. You'd be surprised what the 2.5 y/o will sleep through! LOL! My daughter slept through a lot of fuss in the middle of the night and before my son was born was a very light sleeper! Hang in there! It's hard but you can do it!

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If you're ok with him sleeping with you, it really is ok. Don't talk yourself out of it just because you're concerned that it's not what you're "supposed" to do. Both our boys co-slept until 18 months (when we put them in a big boy bed), and the younger one still visits us at night once or twice a week. They really do grow out of it.

If you want him out, that's one thing. But don't feel like you have to.

Would you consider letting him sleep with his older sister? I know some people probably wouldn't agree with that, so feel free to ignore my suggestion. :-) My kids co-slept with me until they were two; my daughter transitioned to her own bed and then her own room when she was 2.5 and mostly did fine. When it was my son's turn to sleep in his own bed, he transitioned a lot more easily because he slept with his sister the first few months. He had his own bed (they shared a room), and I always tucked them in separately, but then in the morning I'd see that he was in her bed. Then I started encouraging him to sleep in his own bed and eventually he did. So that could be something you try (if your daughter is up for it, of course :-). Whatever you decide to do, good luck!

Does he nap in his crib? Does you have a night light in your room? Do you have a bedtime routine? I don't know any of your history, but I do remember my daughter going through a phase around 14-18 months of not wanting to be alone to go to sleep. Creating a consistent routine saved our lives! And we didn't start until around 14 months. She has a snack, brushes her teeth, reads 3 stories with us, and then we sing songs. Her most favorite thing is the Twilight Ladybug- it projects stars on the ceiling and turns off after 45 minutes. (There is a Turtle version, too.) If you can get him into a routine of falling asleep in his crib, then it will be easier to help him learn how to go back to sleep in his crib when he wakes up in the middle of the night.

I am not a fan of CIO. I've never been able to let either of my children CIO, and honestly, I am a big believer in meeting your children's NEEDS. If my babies are really, truly crying, they need something. If I let them cry until they stop, I've taught them to give up because no one will come. Take that for what its worth- I know a lot of people don't agree, but that's my own personal belief.

One of my favorite books is Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. I liked the recommendations for helping your child learn to go to sleep on their own because it seems respectful.

Most importantly, you have to give him the time to learn a new routine. It isn't going to happen overnight, but if you are consistent, it will happen. You just have to decide which method you want to try and then stick with it.

If you don't want him sleeping with you, you have to be firm. It's OK to let him too.

Whatever you do, he needs to eat much more during the day. Once his body registers that he's fuller, he will sleep through the night. He's plenty old enough. Once you know he's been super stuffed all day for 3 consecutive days (it takes a few days for his body to register new increase in calories and feel satisfied), let him cry, and don't give in.

He's too old to be "scared" and need reassurance ferber style (it may work, it will just take way longer with his strong will than cold turkey will since he'll know that you keep coming in and engaging with him if he cries long enough-and you already know he'll go for the gusto and pass out if he has to). He's manipulating you at this age. He will sooth himself if he has to, or he will train you to sleep with him.

You DO have the power-I know it's hard! If you can't deal with letting him CIO, don't even try it. Just let him sleep with you. If you cave due to his crying, he learns that's how to operate you. Honestly none of my kids cried for long because they were stuffed and never got used to being helped to sleep. But you can break the habit. It will not take longer than a week if you stand firm. It will probably take only 3 nights if you don't cave. Don't forget to stuff him full of food (healthy, no sugar) all day for 3 days first.

Let him sleep on the floor in your room, on a mattress.

I would not put him in with his sister. Then she will not get sleep.
If that were me, with a sibling like that, I would NOT like sleeping with him.

Does your son have a Lovey or Loveys to sleep with?

Is he having "Night Terrors?" you can look it up online.

Once he falls asleep, do not pick him up and carry him to the crib. That is waking him. Interrupting his REM sleep.

Your son sounds perfectly normal to me. It depends on if you're comfortable with using the family bed, which is what you've been doing. If you're thinking you will need to make him stop, it might help to know he'll just outgrow it and want a space of his own. We used the family bed in our household. Everyone was happier, well rested, and able to stay awake the next day. You could always keep a bed for him in his sister's room, to help him understand someday you'll sleep in here at night. Maybe take naps there during the day etc. S.

Well, since he is older it will be harder to break the "habit" but it can be done if you are consistant and firm. From Day 1 with all three of my kids I have put them down in their own space to sleep. I NEVER shared a bed with my kids. And none of them share a room either, then they would NEVER sleep!! LOL. But I know for some people with smaller homes, that isn't possible. My third son has a room in the basement (but that is one of the reasons we are going to move to a bigger house). I use a baby monitor so I can hear him at night.
Now I will say that sometimes they would wake up at night and cry. I would let them for a few mintues and then go in to check on them. They especially need extra comfort if they are sick of course. :)
What really helps is having stuff in the crib with them. Stuffed animals and such. Also the crib toys that play music is a really big help!! They play music for a few minutes and then shut off. I highly recommend them because they worked for all of my kids. I have the Ocean Wonders Aquarium. I know you have an "older" baby but they still like it.
I hope that helps a little bit and good luck!!

Just a thought here... Our 9, 6, and 3 yr old share a room... We always keep the babys in a cradle in our room so they are closer to us until about 6 months old... (All our kids were sleep thru the night early kids) So when our youngest was born (10 months old) we expected to have her in the room with us for 6 months then transfer her to the other bed room with her siblings if she was also a sleep thru the nighter.
She was the first one that was waking several times thru the night to nurse. So she would get pulled into our bed to nurse then transfered back to her cradle (which would usually wake her up, so I started just letting her sleep in our bed.)
About a month ago when she was really TOO big for her cradle hubby said that we should try to just put her in with the kids. I knew she was a light sleeper and was hesitant to put her in there with snorey, chatty, and groaner... BUT we tried it and she actually sleeps better then when she's in our room! When she does cry the kids usually sleep right thru it...
I would pick a weekend and just try it.... It may work out better than your dreading! Put him in his crib with the light out and see what happens... Maybe try putting him to bed and letting the 3 yr old stay up and watch a movie with you so that if he does fuss for a bit she's not bothered by it.Yes, he'll probibly fuss a bit but listen to the cry... You can tell when its just a whiney i'm bored and fighting sleep cry and when its a i'm not calming myself down no matter what cry. No, I don't do the whole waiting hours for them to cry it out... But if they are just fussin i'll let them fuss a bit before I go in.
Good luck!