Thinking About weaning...Advice Requested

Updated on December 15, 2010
K.M. asks from Carol Stream, IL
7 answers

Hello, mommas.

I just want to say in advance how much I appreciate your advice. I love being able to come here to just get a variety of mommy wisdom.

My sweet daughter just turned a year old. She was exclusively breastfed until 10 months. At that time she was still nursing three times a day, but also got one bottle of formula. Her current schedule is this:

6:30-nurse
8-breakfast
12-bottle (formula)
12:30-lunch
3:30-nurse
5-dinner
6:30-sometimes nurse/Bedtime

I'm not really sure what I want to do as far as breastfeeding and weaning her go. My husband assumed that I would be ready to stop right away after her birthday, and I guess I thought I would too. But now I'm not so sure. There is part of me that would be really relieved to have my girls back, but at the same time I would miss our special time together. Another thought that has been going through my mind is that my little girl is awfully petite - the pediatrician is not worried, but part of me thinks that perhaps my milk has been tapering off and that she might thrive more if she switched to milk. I know, I know - breast is best - but her weight is a concern for me, so I just thought I'd share. (She is 15th percentile for height and weight. She weighs 18.5 pounds.) I would just like to hear some advice on your experiences and recommendations. Right now we are planning on switching the midday bottle to whole milk, I am just not sure what to do about the other feedings.

Also - sometimes she wants to nurse right before bedtime and sometimes not at all. Should I just cut that feeding out and offer her water...? Oh - and my husband and I are divided on this - how do you feel about sending the baby to bed with a bottle?

Thanks!
K.

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F.W.

answers from Cumberland on

My daughter was the least interested in her midmorning and mid afternoon feedings so I switched to a sippy of whole milk for those feedings one at a time. I started at about a year. She reacted well and didn't miss the nursings, plus I was busy during the day as a daycare provider. I dropped the morning feed next and the bedtime feeding last. The whole process took 4.5 months and it was really easy for both of us. Especially with the last two feedings she was more attached to I went at her pace and at one point she seemed ready to shun the last feeding of the day and then just as quickly wanted it voraciously . I just went at her pace and I truly enjoyed the weaning process more than the few months preceding it where I was paranoid about not having enough milk because my daughter was so antsy and ambivalent about nursing. My point is follow your heart and just relax once you've made your decision. Weaning doesn't have to be completely mother or child led exclusively. It was a partnership to begin with, right?

1 mom found this helpful

P.M.

answers from Tampa on

I applaud you for not just stopping due to the 1 year birthday! Nursing your child as long as they wish to is a great boon for the parents as well as the child. Like you said - you have a special time with her - usually 3 times a day - and that will mean a lot to both of you to keep.

From 1-2 years, the toddler will go back and forth between wanting to nurse and forgetting about it - that does not mean they are ready to stop!! There is so much they are learning to do socially, physically, mentally and verbally that they get very easily distracted. They do realize that Mommy and her milk are still there when they need it tho.

Yes, cut out the formula ASAP and replace with whole milk (hopefully antibiotic and growth hormone free!)... but don't worry about her weight. My daughter has ALWAYS been petite weight wise and is very healthy. More and more babies, toddlers and children are being diagnosed with obesity and obesity related diabetes - be happy you have a child with a good metabolism and self control mechanism. Most breastfed babies do you know!

DO not offer water instead of nursing... just offer your breast and if she says no, do not take it personally - don't forget distractibility starts around 8 months and stops around 2-2.5 years old. Don't send babies to bed with a bottle, the bottle will allow whatever is in there to continue dripping even when child isn't suckling. That stuff will sit in the mouth and cause cavities!

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J.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

I never felt ready to wean my babies right at 1 year, but a few months past, it seemed more "right' to me. My first was 14/15 months (I was 5 months pregnant though) and my second was 17 months (I was a couple months pregnant) and my third was right around 16/17 months as well.

My second baby was also (and still is at 4) in the 10-15% for height and weight. Thats just who he is. He eats about 1/2 of what his 2 year old sister eats, and his pediatrician says that he's growing on a good growth curve and not to worry. At age 1, he wasn't a big milk drinker or a big eater so I wanted to keep nursing him as long as I could - I figured he was getting good nutrients that way. He wasn't over 20 lbs until his 15 month appointment, so we kept him backwards in the carseat until then.

My third was the hardest to wean, probably because I wasn't pregnant and my milk was still in and tasted normal ;)

Babies do not automatically become old enough to wean on their birthdays. You know your baby, and your body as well. They still have the urge to suck (you still see lots of babies at a year with pacifiers too) and it doesn't just disappear when they have a birthday.

You know your baby, what do you think? It seems you are not ready to wean yet. Give it some time, babies change fast as you know. You'll know when you are both ready.

Also - it's not recommended to send babies to bed with a bottle, it's bad for their teeth.

J.

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K.A.

answers from Dallas on

FIRST NEVER SEND YOUR BABY TO BED WITH A BOTTLE....nothing good will come out of it. But it increases ear infectons and alot of other nasty things, second keep your baby on the breast and follow her lead. Third have you tried giving her a cup and dropping the bottle. He teeth can get really messed up staying on a bottle after a yr. ALSO I stopped feeding because i needed a break and that was one thing I could easily cut and Dont give it up until your Mommy heart is ready, so you wont ever have second thoughts and what ifs...Good Luck...

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J.T.

answers from New York on

No bed with bottle.. why start a bad habit! But yes if she is willing to take water instead of night time nursing - go for it.

And I planned on stopping at 1, then it was 18 months and finally I stopped at just before 2. You will know when you are ready to stop, the actual age is irrelevant, we just all seem to function better with deadlines.... Also, my daughter was petite as well (25th percentile), and size was no issue. As longer as you daughter keeps growing she should be fine, but if you are really worried talk to her pediatrician.

We did whole milk at one year, but skipped the bottle part and used a sippy cup and had pretty much the same schedule as you.

BTW - I made up for the missing the time together nursing by having her cuddle on my lap while I read to her. Now at almost 3 we cuddle up on the sofa and read every day and that is our special time together (never mind that I do spend the whole day with her :) ).

Good luck!

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

The thing is, weaning is either:

1) Mom led, and stopped via whatever method/reason.
2) it is child led... and the Mom then HEEDS to the child's cues... so for example: if the child themselves, are weaning, you need to recognize that, too.
3) The child then self-weans. Which is what I did with both my kids. My daughter self-weaned at about 2.5 years old and my son at about 1 year old.
My Husband by the way, was PROUD that I allowed our kids to self-wean and that I breastfed them until they did. He even 'bragged' about it to his friends.

IF they nurse before bed or naps... to ME, that is NOT a big deal. MANY kids either nurse, have a bottle, or have a cup of milk before bed. I know even some ADULTS, that like to drink milk before bed.... because it helps them to sleep and it is relaxing. Milk actually has nutrients in it, that helps, one to sleep.
Or yes, just give her a sippy cup of water, that she can have AND keep next to her in bed. Because water... is not harmful to the teeth. I did that with both my kids. They self-served themselves water, during the night, if they wanted, Thereby, I did not have to get up and they did not wake up either... just to get out of bed to go to the sink.

IF you put your baby to bed, with a bottle... you need to have your child rinse/swish their mouth with water... or wipe down their teeth. Yes, it can or may, contribute to decay. BUT, I have also heard, that breastmilk does NOT NOT NOT cause decay. It is a myth. The decision on it, seems split.

Me, I always nursed my kids, before bed. It was our routine. My daughter never used a bottle at all. ONLY my boobs. My son however, did use a bottle. But he also, because I taught him, KNEW how to 'rinse' his mouth, with water after, and he'd swish with water.... after drinking milk.

WHOLE milk, from 1-2 years old, is important, because, "milk fats" are an Essential "nutrient" for brain-growth, and for their growth. Kids, need that and for proper development.

all the best,
Susan

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D.W.

answers from Gainesville on

Absolutely *do not* put baby to bed with a bottle-ear infections, bottle decay for those precious little teeth and then you'd have to break a bottle habit that she doesn't have now!

Nothing wrong with nursing before bed. I did with my second and we gradually phased it out during weaning when she was around 20 months old. You can offer her snuggles and a sippy cup with some warm milk in it before she lays down for sleep. That was how we started the transition.

You don't have to wean the minute they turn one. I nursed mine till they were 16 and 20 months respectively. There are certainly benefits to going beyond the year mark. And I just never felt comfortable starting whole milk the day my little ones turned 1.

Please know that her size is fine. A lot of breastfed babies tend to be leaner and that is not a bad thing. Looks like her appetite and nursing behaviors are more than appropriate for her age.

Don't switch the mid-day bottle to whole milk. Switch mid-day to a sippy cup with whole milk. You need to ditch the bottle now before you get into the very strong willed toddler attachment to the bottle. I have a friend that exclusively bottle feeds and she has all of her babies off the bottle and on to sippy cups by 9 months. No bottle fights in her house.

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