Things You Wish You Knew Before You Potty Trained

FWIW. From what I've seen the parents that push early (and 17 mo's is WAAAAY early) are the ones that talk about 'accidents' and in appropriate pooping, etc. The ones that take a very relaxed route and let the child decide when they are ready -and you can do it without bribes of candy, stickers, toys, etc)- are the ones that say their kid learned overnight and never to almost never had an accident.

I stayed very low key, and both kids 'learned over night' and didn't have any accidents or troubles going poop. GL!

The best time to potty train is in warm weather. When they can wear little sundresses and good ol' washable crocs! =0) No long pants, and socks, and shoes to worry about washing and teaching them to pull down, etc. Summer is definitely the best time b/c the clothes are so much easier to deal with for them. =0)

I found a magical book when it was time to potty train my second child. I wished I had had it for the first as well. It's called Toilet Training in Less Than a Day. If you follow it exactly, it works. My son was 27 months when we did it, and it worked. We did a refresher course for an hour or two a month or so later because he wasn't quite 100%, and that sealed the deal. You can find the book on amazon. It's written by researchers, so kind of reads like a manual, and you can skip the first three chapters. I'm sure it would have worked a lot sooner on my son had I found it before then. I had been trying to potty train him since before he was two, but didn't really know how.

Follow their lead. Do NOT try to potty train before they're ready. When they turn 2 people will start asking "are you potty training yet?" and things like that. Just let them do it at their own pace. My daughter was 2.5 before she was potty trained. When she turned two I tried to pt her. It was a NIGHTMARE. She just wasn't ready. So, I would occasionally ask her if she needed to use the potty. One day she said "yes" and we never looked back! Of course, she's had a few accidents and #2 took about 4 months longer to get then #1, but we finally got there. Good luck :D

I think it's never too early to start. In fact, after going through this with my son, I said I would NEVER wait til after age 2 with the next one. The 2's can be a year of butting heads and adding in potty training can just make it the battle of the wills. Your child at that point doesn't care to please you because they are more into gaining independence from you and exerting their own will. Potty training requires a lot of cooperation between you and the child. I think between 12 and 24 months is the best time to start because they are still in that wanting to please you stage. And don't let people tell you they can't do it developmentally at that age. With my first son I listened to all the lists of "when" to potty train - most of them say they aren't ready until they can handle getting their clothes on and off by themselves - rediculous! They develop the ability to control their pee and poop way before they have the fine motor skills to do buttons and zippers. Don't fall for that. My other advice is to NOT let the child lead - you take charge of teaching them. This isn't to say you push them too hard or make it an awful experience. But it's our job to teach and lead them through it. Our country potty trains our kids later than any other in the world! You can google alternative potty training methods and find out how in other countries they are done potty training by age 2 (and sometimes earlier.)
I think you are doing the right thing by taking them with you and talking about it. That's the first step. Also talk about when you see them pooping, tell them what they are doing and talk about it when you change their diaper. Praise them and act excited. This will help them develop the recognition for what is happening in their bodies. My daugher is 18 mths old and she is now telling me before she goes pee and poop. She knows what is happening and will run to the potty now. There's no doubt that even this young they can develop the ability to control it. Another reason not to wait is that the longer you put it off, the more ingrained it becomes in their minds to do it in the diaper. As their brains develop even more understanding of the world around them, the diaper becomes the normal and comfortable place to go. So start now. I would also get a little potty chair - or the kind that fit on the big toilet (decide how you want to do it) and introduce them to it and let them sit on it. Make it fun - but you take the lead in teaching them.
I wanted to add something that may help - you should buy the Baby Whisperer book by Tracy Hogg. She has a great chapter on potty training. Even if you don't agree with her on how early to start, she gives details for what to do with each age group - step by step instuctions basically - it is very helpful! One of the stats in her book that blew me away was that in the 1950's, 90% of U.S. kids were potty trained by 18 mths!! Now days, that stat is only 25% and 2% are still untrained at age 4!! hmm.. to me that says something. I'm also incredibly shocked by the amount of people that think we should let the child lead this process. We don't give a child a fork and plate and expect them to learn table manners on their own. We don't hand a toddler their clothes and let them figure out how to put them on - no, we teach and lead them! Potty training is just another milestone we need to train our children in. Anyway, get her book - it's so encouraging and gives you the step by step of what to do! :) Another thing to keep in mind - when people say early potty training made things worse or lead to phychologocal problems in the child - it's most likely because they were doing it wrong. (I know this from having worked with parents in childcare settings for years.) People try it out half way or get angry with the child all the time, and then instead of realizing their own mistake, they blame the process or the age. Done right and with committment, early training not only works, but works faster and is easier.

I typically don't comment on potty training posts because there is no one answer to this question. One parent was able to "train" her child at 14 months and another "trained" her child at age 4. I think it has to do with the parent's actual philosophy about gaining new skills. For instance, when your child was going from a sippy cup to a cup with no top, how was that handled in your home? Potty training your child will be exactly like that.

The biggest lesson I learned in the potty training stage is that the minute I got excited for myself about my child's success, I failed. We started at 14 months putting him on the toilet and he had a great run of it for awhile. But he wasn't "trained" just because he was becoming cognitively aware of his body and the toilet. Shortly after his 2nd birthday, we decided that we wouldn't talk about it anymore. I would let him put on underwear when he used the toilet. I stopped this around 30 months because he was getting them wet all the time. When he would ask for them, I would say that he can wear underwear when he puts his pee and poop in the toilet all the time. He picked a day at 32 months old to say "no more diapers" and he's been dry ever since... during the day and overnight.

Pull-ups are a waste of money. If they have to use them, your child isn't ready to get out of diapers. Make the transition from diapers to underwear a clear jump. The child will know s/he is successful when the underwear is dry. Until then, your child should be in diapers. Plain and simple. And there's no shame in this.

the biggest thing is to wait until they are ready. the earlier you start, the longer and more drawn out it will be.

My younger one started using the potty at 16 months (because big sis had just potty trained).... and she would pee in the potty, but then run around naked an pee on the floor a few minutes later. I had to stop encouraging her to use it for a while, because I was so tired of cleaning the carpet!!!! She finally was fully trained at 27 months, which was the exact same age as big sis was, but it was a lot easier with my older daughter, because she was older and more "ready" to do it.

The other thing I always tell people if they are talking about potty training when kids are still young... it's a lot more convenient when they are in diapers. I can' t tell you how many times I'd be at the back of a big warehouse club, cart full, and my daughter says "POTTY!", and we had to go racing through the store to make it in time. Not fun!

Also, being outdoors, especially with girls, has it's challenges. I do recommend this... I bring it everywhere, the park, the zoo, the beach. especially when you have more than one, it's not easy to make it to the bathroom!!!
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3055781

Good luck!!!!!!

That it has little to do with parental involvement how it goes. The child will potty train when he or she is ready. We did it all -- potty parties, timed visits to the bathroom, rewards charts, etc. -- with our first, and it took well over a year for him to be potty trained. He just had no interest in using the potty and could care less if he wore diapers forever. I couldn't stand to hear the word potty by six months into the awful process and felt like I deserved an Academy Award for smiling despite dealing with peed clothes and rags and doing laundry after work every single day for a year. Once all of this friends left his daycare room for preschool, our son was finally was ready to wear underpants and try, but until then, forget it.

Second child, we did nothing to encourage use of the potty because frankly we were already burnt out on the whole thing with her brother. She wanted to use the potty, so we went along with her. Within a few months, done, at two and a half.

Don't make life any harder than it needs to be. Pay attention to your child's signs of interest and take it from there. There are so many better things you can do with your time with your kids than spend them in the bathroom and laundry room.

Wait. When they are ready it will be obvious. Otherwise you are training yourself.
I have three kids- all teenagers. They all trained between 3 and 4 years and did it within a few days. The youngest tried at 24months because she saw her siblings but it got to be too stressful with the accidents. I asked her if she would like to wait and she said yes. Once she was closer to three she handled it with ease. My middle one was almost 4- she just didn't care. I messed with very little laundry because they were ready to learn when they started. And not one of them started Pre-K in diapers. Peer pressure at mother's day out is also a very good aide in training- they see other kids learning- they get interested,too. (Except with my middle who has always marched to her own tune! She didn't care what anyone else was doing and had no shame of using a pull-up. She slept in one 'til she was 8 or 9- and needed it cuz she was a heavy sleeper- and would spend the night out and just take her pull-up and a plastic baggie along. No peer pressure for her. The oldest became dry overnight the first time somone asked him to sleep over!)

My sister is an educator and she has seen it all with children and potty training. She always told me that the one thing that we all should know is that potty training too soon is a mistake. She's had some toddlers with terrible pooping issues due to early potty training. I remember one case in particular she told me about: it was a girl who was subjected too early to the pressure of potty training and psychologically developed a "retention" that caused her to take laxatives in order to get relief from constipation no matter what she ate. This is something that could have been avoided.
There is no reason to rush this delicate phase of the children's life, when they are ready they'll do it fast...have you ever seen a 6 years old with a diaper? I haven't. It seems to me that our kids are subjected to all kind of pressures nowadays, I don't understand why we would force this issue on them. It takes time to get a hold of their little bodies and frankly at 1 and 1/2 y.o. they are still very little!
I would definitely relax on the issue and have a little more patience. Their time will come soon!

I agree with Whizzy. Most parents push their kids to potty-training before the child is ready (because the parent is).

Our daughter is 22 months and is completely not ready nor interested. She totally wet the floor the other night waiting to get into the tub and could have cared less. We'll begin working on it with her in a few months. Our 3.5 year old son was potty-trained after his 3rd birthday (per our pediatrician's recommendation) - he didn't have the physical sensation prior to that. We rarely have issues with accidents (perhaps less than 10 in ~7 months) or pooping.

I don't think you're wrong to let them in with you to understand what you're doing, but I wouldn't push them as that seems to be where the problems occur with more frequent accidents.

I'd also find out what they're interested in that interests them in going. For some kids it's stickers, for others it's a special snack. For our son, it was being able to get some of his favorite Cars cars. That was the only thing that worked, but he had to be old enough to understand the process of rewards (and how to earn them). Once that clicked, it was smooth sailing.

I believe you are doing the right thing and at the right time. All kids are different so don't get scared by some of the other Mom's who might say that 17months is too young. Both my boys were completely potty trained right after they turned 2 and they are 4 and 6 and we have had no regression of any kind and when do you think I started talking to them like you are now? That's right, same age!

Here is what I have known to be true:
*Talking with them about the bathroom and what you do on the potty is the first step.
*There are quite a few steps :)
*When they begin to ask questions (even tho they might not be that verbal) or even say "potty" take them to the store and pick out a potty. I suggest the SOFT seats w/handles that go over the toilet and a step stool (kids like these and I NEVER wanted to clean out the small ones, yuk!)
*When you get home put it in the bathroom and ask them if they have to go potty. If they say "no", no biggie, say "okay" and leave it alone.
*Let them see you going potty and ask them again, every time. Same thing w/your response to "no" but if they say "yes" let them sit on it for awhile(1-3 minutes, I sang them songs to fill the time) and try. Usually it takes lots of trys before they actually go, so don't get discouraged! We gave high fives and said "good try"!
*When they do actually succeed in going potty, MAKE A BIG DEAL OUT OF IT! Big praise, clapping, telling everyone in the house/family, calling Auntie & grandma and yes, we did the potty signing..."U did pee-pee in the potty, pee-pee in the potty" but you do whatever u think your girls will like, we did dum-dum suckers w/our 1st but didn't need anything w/ our 2nd (like I said, all kids are different).
*When you notice they are getting really good at going when asked if they had to AND start waking up dry in the A.M. OR when they start asking you to go potty (we are in the beginning stage of this step w/my last baby) go to the store and let them pick out pretty panties and talk w/ them about getting to be done with diapers and be a big girl! Yeah! Talk w/ them for a few days, to get them used to the idea of being in underwear.
*Ask them in the morning when getting dressed if they want to wear panties and if they do, act excited and put them on and then be prepared to ask them @ every hour or so if they have to go and be prepared for accidents--IMO, this next part is IMPORTANT!--Put them in sweats or something that is easy for them to pull up and down AND DO NOT MAKE A BIG DEAL OUT OF IT IF THEY HAVE AN ACCIDENT and JUST CHANGE THEM RIGHT AWAY! I said "Uh-Oh! lets fix you up" and put on new undies...no biggie!
*When they ask to wear the panties, don't go back to diapers!
*Make sure you have the time because you want to allow yourself and them at least a few days, if not a week with continually asking them if they need to go.
*Accidents will happen, so be prepared...no biggie!

With my first 2, I didn't introduce the underwear until they were waking up dry in the mornings...made me think their bladders were strong enough to hold it, if they needed to. Also, I never did pull-ups. They just weren't necessary but if you do not have the desire or ability to be doing lots of laundry I can see the appeal...If you think you want to use them I would do night time only and regular underwear during the day.

Hope some of this helps. When you think your girls are ready, I say "just do it'!!! It will be okay and really, it isn't that scary! Promise.

They are probably too young to start potty training but you are doing the right thing to expose them to it. My kids first developed an interest a little after the age of two. I kept a kid potty in the main living area of our house and when they were naked out of a bath, they would sometimes sit on it for fun. That's when it all started. Once they go, celebrate and make them feel good about it; then start the process. Once you know they are capable; let them run around the house naked for 2 days and do nothing but potty train!!!! Feed them full of drinks they like so they have to pee pee often. Reward them for staying dry every 20 min with a treat (like a mini M&M or something...that is, if you decide to go this route). Reward them with tons of praise when they go on the potty. After they seem to be having few accidents naked, put undies on them. When they are having fewer accidents in the undies, take them in public with undies and just keep asking them if they need to go. Take them no matter what, every 20 minutes. I keep a kiddy potty in the back of my car. Don't think there won't be accidents. Once you can officially call them "potty trained" there will still be accidents so keep loads of cloths, panties, wipes and plastic bags in the back of your car.

My first advice, don't push them. When my son was young, my grandmother started in on me telling me she had my dad trained by 18 months. I found that hard to believe mainly because I have always known that boys are typically harder to train than girls and 18 months seemed really early. But, my grandma is pushy and bossy, so I wouldn't put it past her. I then read that babies don't even develop the muscles to control urine flow until they are at least 18 months. I wasn't worried, I knew he would get there. The day care he went to did not have doors on the bathrooms in the 2 year old room. That way the kiddos could watch their counterparts going. They also gave them 1 Skittle each time they went. My son would stand and watch what was going on the the bathroom. At 27 months, they said he was ready to try. He had it down in 2 weeks. We carried over the same reward system at home.

You have the right idea letting them come in the bathroom with you. We always did with our son. I don't know how much they are understanding when you are explaining things to them, but it couldn't hurt.

I was always against pull-ups because I have seen too many kids stay in them for far too long. But I did switch to them a couple of months before my son started potty training. He never went through the stage of undoing his diaper. So when he gave indication that he was wanting to try, we had to switch to the pull-ups so he could get them up and down.

Just remember, don't push them, it will make is so frustrating and miserable for you and them both.

I was subscribed to pampers.com and they actually sent me very good advice on many subjects. One which was potty training. I don't think you are starting too early. My advice is kinda of like G.G. Put a potty in the living room and let them sit on it while watching tv with there clothes on so that when you start really training they are comfortable with it. Now in saying this it worked for my son but not my daughter. All she wanted to do was open it up and stick her feet in it! Every child is different and every child gets potty trained at different times. But unlike some moms I don't believe that "when their ready they will do it" I believe just like reading it needs to be taught. But again just like reading some kids take to it easier than others. The key is patience and keep trying. My son was about 16mths when I started training him. he was fully trained before he turned 2 but on the other hand my daughter wasn't as easy. I also didn't introduce her to the potty as early. She wasn't trained fully till she was almost 3. Definately read as much as you can on the subject. The more informed you are the easier it is. I also kept a potty in the car for my daughter because its not easy trying to hold up your daughter when she is peeing when you get stuck outside somewhere.

here are 2 blog posts with helpful info on your potty training question........good luck!
http://blogs.goddardsystems.com/Cedar-Park-TX/2009/12/13/...
http://blogs.goddardsystems.com/Cedar-Park-TX/2009/09/22/...

My advice about potty-training is always to wait until they're really ready. If they're ready, it will be an easy task; if they're not, it's just a huge source of stress for both you and the kids. If you're like me, you don't get much privacy in the bathroom anyway, so I'd say you're starting on the right track with talking about going pee or poop. My now 2 1/2 year old has long been fascinated with watching what is going into the toilet. (Gross, I know, but oh well!) I would just let them lead the way--if they start taking off their diapers and want to sit on the potty, that can be a good sign, but it doesn't necessarily mean they're ready to be completely trained. My youngest started showing signs of interest right around her 2nd birthday. She did great naked, but would wet her pants within 10 minutes of having undies on. After a major poop accident, I gave it up for the time being, but about a month ago (just over 2 1/2 years), we gave it another shot and within a couple of days she was going pee and poop on the potty. Though last summer I had her sit on the seat on top of the toilet, when she started using the potty last month, she just spreads her legs wide across the seat and does just fine without falling in. (She does have a stool that allows her to get on and off the potty by herself.)

Also, I would add that as parents we are often in a hurry to get our children out of diapers, but having a kid potty-trained doesn't necessarily make life easier. Indeed, it can sometimes make it more difficult--like when you just sit down to eat and it's announced that someone needs to go potty--even if it's only been 10 minutes since she went!! Not that we want to keep kids in diapers forever, of course, but perhaps that's some consolation if your girls aren't potty-trained as early as you might like.

Good luck! Potty-training is a major source of stress for parents (especially first-time parents!), but just relax and be assured that your girls won't be wearing diapers when they go to kindergarten!

17 ms. is the perfect age to start. All 3 of my girls 16, 2 1/2 & almost 4 were potty trained by 20 months. 18 months with the baby. My trick was M&M's 1 for #1 and 2 for #2.
I think they are more independent when they learn earlier.
Too many parents keep their children in diapers for too long out of convenience, IMO.
Also, I would totally recommend keeping a portable potty in your vehicle. I despise public restrooms! especially when you have 2 little ones, one is on the potty and the other one wants to touch everything and run around, no thank you!
I have an SUV and I keep one in the back of my truck with wipes, TP and gallon size zip lock bags and a garbage bag. I also keep a bag of an extra change of clothes, socks and underwear, JIC.
I do agree that it is easier tho to PT in the summer, as all 3 were trained when we lived in Fl. I'm sure that PT would be more difficult in the winter. The less clothes they wear, the easier!
Good Luck!

As you have noticed from all the various responses, there are many theories in regards to what is too early or too late to start potty training.

I am still in the process of potty training my 2.5 year old daughter which is why this post caught my eye. I started her on the potty around 18 months because she was showing interest in it.

We bought a small potty but often she likes to go on the big potty so I guess my only thing I wish I would have known before potty training would be to just buy a stool and have them sit on the big potty. It would have saved me money. But then again, in the beginning, my daughter liked sitting on her potty?

She had some regression when her baby brother was born so we honestly just dropped the subject and have not really revisited it much (I ask if she's in the bathroom with me if she has to go but other than that don't make a big deal out of it). She told me today she wanted to wear big girl underwear to daycare so she is! She had two accidents and went potty 2x this morning. So we'll see. I'm not sure if she's physically capable of knowing when she has to go before she goes, but I guess we will find out! I'm lucky because her daycare teacher is more than willing to help train her, including lots of accidents and washing her underwear and clothes at daycare while she's learning!

1. start now & really tune into them and their habits. ie... how long after they eat, before they go? What is their usually time to poo, etc... these clues will help you when the training really begins. I think another poster said it best that it really is harder to train the parent than the child. :) Then try & work out a schedule of placing them on the potty before they go in their pull ups or diapers. This gets you trained to be more aware of their needs & you will catch them going on it more often to give them the praise. 2. let them play with the potty as in flushing. lots of kids are scared ot it, but if they can play a bit it helps to not make it so scary. If the auto flushes scare them, then carry post it notes in your purse & place over the sensor when out & about it will stop it from flushing unexpectedly. 3. I used puppy pads in the car seat while out shopping. if we had an accident, then I could wrap it up and throw it away & seat wasn't ruined for the rest of the day. carried 2 set of clothes along in case of accidents so child would not have to walk around nasty & be humiliated. Start getting used to going to the potty upon entering store & leaving store. I also carry germX in my purse. I had a friend that dislike the chemical & bought gloves for her daughter to wear then she would fold them up and wash them at the end of the day. 3. Do not make them sit for hours on it or get angry about accidents. 4. I read with daughter to get her to stay there, but not with son & I wish I hadn't with daughter. She seems to just take forever in there while son is more get in & get out. don't know if that is just them or if it was the habits I established, but something I've noticed.

Now for nightime, I used pull ups for daughter & it took her forever to train. Did not use for son & he got it quickly but he did have sister as example. anyway, I had them go at 8:00pm then at 10 I would wake them up & have them go again. Then I set my watch alarm & would wake them at 2:00am to go again. they would then make it till 6:00 am where I would have them go again. This seemed to night train them where they both told me not to wake them anymore about 3 weeks in and they would do it themselves. This also cut down on laundry as we rarely had night time accidents. My daughter was fully trained by 4 and son was fully trained before 3. The biggest thing for the kid is to be able to relate the sensation of needing to go to telling you or going by themselves,.... hope this helps you. tried to give you some hints & tips. Good luck.

I think a child CAN be potty trained at 17 mos. But at that age, it's frustrating and hard work for both the parent and the child. Don't rush it - wait a little longer.

Your daughters will let you know when they're ready - diapers will become uncomfortable, they'll tell you they want big girl undies, things like that. My youngest son is 22 months old and we're barely starting him on the process - meaning he's sitting on the potty when I do (but still in diapers), we're just letting him get used to the concept and what the steps are. He's WAY too young, even at this age, to understand what he needs to do - he can't tell his body signs quite yet.

I waited until my oldest was 2.5 before we started potty training him. It took 3 weeks and he had maybe 2 accidents - and not a single one since then (he's now 4.5). It was super easy because he was old enough to understand what was happening and why we were doing things.

It seems a lot of people are in a rush to get their kids out of diapers. Knowing what I do now - ENJOY the diapers! Because potty training - especially the first few years - are HARD. Even with no accidents, your child will have to go potty at every single inconvenient moment you can possibly think of. When stuck on a freeway with no exits. When you've just paid for a cart full of frozen groceries and it's 100F outside and you're 40 mins from home. When you're next in line at the bank, after an hour wait. And you have NO choice but to find that child a restroom. I swear, every single errand I did with my son while he was newly potty trained took 5x longer and put us in some bad situations (yes, I now know which gas stations have the worst restrooms in the worst parts of town). It got to the point it was easier to stay at home! So don't rush things, let your babies be babies for a little longer - until they can HELP you make the decision to potty train. And there WILL be a point - no kid wants to be in diapers forever.

S.

I agree with zoomomma 100%. The earlier the better. babies are born with the ability to control their bladder and poop. Ever been peed on by a baby boy? Babies pee all at once and with forc.e Its only after sitting in an ultra absorbant diaper for years that a chld looses that ability. The prime time for training is between 10 and 19mos. My boys were both out of diapers by 18mos, we used elimination communication (www.diaperfreebaby.com) and it was stress free, easy, and a great bonding time for all of us. We used sign language at first, but both were verbal enough by a year to say 'potty', my youngest was out of diapers full time at 12mos. Its not hard, and you have to change a diaper anyway, and if you start when the baby still has bladder control, its so easy.