The Moral Implications of Shaving...?

My parents were VERY moral - so I attended school at the Hogwarts Academy for werewolves.

Then at 18, I shaved and went to a regular college.

:)

My GD has "shaved" her legs since she was 9. She's now 10. The hair on her legs was dark, long and starting to get thick. She asked if she could shave. I don't allow her to use a razor, but I do help her in using Nair. She only has to do it like once every six weeks or so but she feels much better about wearing her bathing suit, shorts, dresses, etc., when her legs aren't so hairy.

Now, if someone would have asked me when she was 7 if I would allow her to "shave" at age 9, I would have said no. But when the time came, I considered it because it was important to her and I could see how much her "hairy legs" was bothering her.

She doesn't have any facial hair or underarm hair yet, so we're just doing the legs.

I have rigid age-limits in mind, when it comes to - getting a mobile phone of their own, having e-mail IDs, being allowed access to internet in the first place, ages to start doing eyebrows and make-up, coloring their hair, etc.

As for shaving their legs, underarms, or using a deodorant, shouldn't the 'when' be decided based on how the growth progresses, and how the child feels about it himself/herself? If my daughter is too young or scared to use a razor on her own, I'd be glad to show her how to, and help her.

(Secretly, I'm hoping she doesn't have to, for a long long time....she can remain my little baby till then... :)) )

I agree. I remember asking my mom if I could shave, in 6th grade. She said no - no other explaination. We were changing for gym class and I was one of the few girls who still had hairy legs, and it was noticable. So I started sneaking my Mom's razor. Of course, it didn't take her long to find out and she said "Congratulations, now you will have to do it forever." And that was that, and it made me feel bad. No explanation on how to do it or any kind of advise. I won't do that to my daughter, I can guarantee.

I agree absolutely. I was one of those children that was constantly embarrassed. I was the youngest -both in my family and in my class, but I also developed before the other girls my age. I wasn't allowed to shave, though, because my oldest sister didn't start shaving until she was a certain age, so it became the rule in our house that no one could shave until that age either. My mother was really weird about that. It didn't hurt my other sisters in between, because they were both blonde and it was never an issue for them. I could understand the age idea for things like getting our ears pierced, but not for things like shaving, which my mother held hard and fast to because I was teased for it - A LOT, and even once I was allowed to shave -with an electric razor ONLY- I was only allowed to shave up to my knees, which was still awful because when I wore a skirt or shorts, you could still see the dark hair on my knees and thighs. For some reason, parents tend to get ideas about when things SHOULD happen, which keeps them from dealing with things appropriately when they DO happen. It is too bad because it can create all sorts of issues for their kids that don't need to be issues at all.

I'm a firm believer in it's right when it's right and there is no "set age" on things. I know my daughter, I know at 7 she isn't ready...but I'm not going to say you must be 13 to shave...if she needs to shave earlier then we will figure something out!

I will always consider options and discuss with her father and/or our family doctor.

just like we will discuss make up, dating and decide as we go.

Hair doesn't have morals.
But at the same time you have some pretty young girls who are obsessing about how they appear to others.
Others (peers) should not be picking on ANYBODY based on physical traits.
Not how many eyes they have or how many limbs they have or how hairy or not they are.
Hair is not a disability - but people go nuts about it acting like it is.
Seriously, rather than whipping out the razor/depilatory/wax/threading/laser treatments ASAP - can you speak with a school about their bully program?

The aisle in the super market for hair removal is about as large as the toothpaste/toothbrush/dental hygiene aisle.
I think we're a little over the top obsessed with hair removal and it's getting to be a concern for younger and younger kids and there is something wrong about that.

Carrying this to it's illogical silly extreme, I think we might start hearing things like
"OMG! My child was born with hair! How do I remove it!?!" in the near future.

Maybe it's BECAUSE some people associate shaving with the onset of puberty and all the other grown-up stuff that comes with it...and shaving somehow implies that you care about your appearance and how attractive you are the opposite sex - same as wearing makeup, getting ears pierced, etc.

But I agree - if a girl is 9 years old and self-conscious because she happens to be getting hairy legs, she should be able to do something about it.

I don't get it, either. If I had a daughter, she would shave when it became a topic. Not a certain age.

There are no moral implications of shaving, in my opinion.

I think it is sad for a parent to be so rigid in their rules.

There is so much going on now that negatively impacts a child's body image, etc... Why on earth would a parent continue to be so rigid and allow this to add to the humiliation already in process.

I am with you... if a child needs something, do it for your child. Our job is to help them, not help them have complexes about something we do have control over.

I agree with you.

I think some parents feel that allowing their child to shave, means that they are allowing the child to make themselves more attractive to the opposite sex... What they don't understand is that it's very detrimental to a young girl's body image to be ashamed of their hairy legs... especially when they get to the age that they will be teased! (Kids can be cruel!)

I don't get it either. My youngest could have started shaving as a newborn. As it is she is eleven and still hasn't asked. Well I am not sure why she would ask I have razors and shaving cream, neither is off limits. Perhaps if they needed to ask the how?

Don't know.

Why would anyone let their child be teased just because they didn't start shaving until they were whatever age? I mean come on, you just added another gene pool! I didn't start shaving till I was 14 but I was a lot less hairy than my daughter!

I agree! I remember being teased in 6th grade for having hairy legs. I have dark hair so it really showed up. I was so embarrassed.

I think that some parents might see it as an opportunity to teach their daughters to appreciate who they are and what they look like naturally and not try to conform to what society says is pretty. Some of it is cultural. White girls in this country tend to be more into being hairless than girls of other races here. I never in my life heard such a fuss over shaving before this site. I was a bit of a hairy kid, and I embraced it. Some girls would comment on it, rarely, but nobody ever teased me. It was just who I was, and it never occurred to me to change that. I shaved once in seventh grade, only because I wanted to see what it was like. Then, I let the hair grow back. I started shaving for the long haul in about 10th grade, because I started to go without hosiery, and I liked the smooth look.

Today, I am wearing a knee-length skirt, and I looked down a little while ago and thought, "Oh, I need to shave!" but I didn't declare an emergency.

My parents were that way. I had to sneak a razor after a girl in my 8th grade PE class noticed that I had hairy legs. The consequence of their rigidity was that we never had conversations about it. My younger sister just started sneak-shaving too because she saw me doing it and thought it was a "grown-up" thing to do. Unfortunately for her, she probably could have gotten away with never having to shave. She, like my mom, is pretty hair-free, but having started shaving too soon, she promoted hair growth on her legs and now has to keep doing it.

I don't understand the age-limit either. It's like saying you won't buy your daughter a bra until she's a certain age, regardless of whether she's already developed breasts.

My daughter is almost 10 and I just bought her razors and showed her how to shave. She has thick brown hair on her legs that is fairly obvious and it's summer why would I not?

She is excited about it and feels like a big girl , she knows I'm not telling her that she is not perfect. I told her that she doesn't HAVE to shave ever. She was ready.

Sometimes shaving is just shaving

Excellent post! I agree with you whole heartedly.

You know that earlier post about people changing their opinion? This is one of those things I changed my opinion on. I used to think girls shouldn't shave until they were 13 or 14, now I agree with you.

Sometimes people just need to experience things before they drop their moral stance on the subject.

my dd is 7 and the girls she hangs out with are not that superficial to be even noticing this, so I was suprised by the original post.

i'm not saying i have an age in mind, but it sure isn't 7 or even 8.

This is were i would love to have a photo feature so we could zoom in on a close up of that poor girl and see if she really was a werewolf, or if maybe vanity is a little more of an issue in the area that poor girls lives.

I agree with your post - the summer before 7th grade I remember my sister, in front of all of the neighbor kids (and there were a lot), called me gorilla, etc. because I had hairy legs and arms. My mom never taught us to shave (nor anything that had to do with puberty - she gets embarrassed about that kind of stuff) so I grabbed a razor and started shaving - to this day the front of my shins have scars on them as I butchered them.......

I don't think there should be some set age - if they are gettin' hairy, teach them how to shave (so they don't butcher themselves like me), if they smell then get them some deodorant, and for cry eye get the girl a bra if she needs it (another thing my mom didn't do until I had to say something - I went to school one day and one of my friends was like, "you HAVE to wear a bra wtih that shirt" - I was in 6th grade).

Yes, it's sad to see our little ones grow up but it's not like we can stop time!

My parents did the same thing! It was ridiculous. We are a HAIRY family! I just started sneaking at about 10. Cut the sh!t out of my leg the first time because I had no idea what I was doing. I really wish my mom had paid attention to what my legs looked like instead of how old I was. You know, she never really talked to me about my legs OR my pits...I just figured it out on my own. I will do much better with my daughter, I promise!

I don't understand either, my daughter started on her own when she was ready. I was so scared, but my older sister told me my legs were hairy and I needed to shave, I was in the 6th grade. I told her I was too scared that I would cut myself, so she said she'd do it for me the first time, so I wouldn't be. She's always been a great big sister taking care of me. After I got over my fear, I was fine. Now that I'm an adult, I HATE it and only do it when needed. High School I did it every day, well most every day.

My daughter even shaves her arms, not under her arms, of course she does that, but she hates hair on her arms so she shaves it. I called her out on it, she lied first to me, then admitted she did. She said she hated dark hair on them. I told her since she started doing that, she'd have to do it all the time, she does ever blue moon she says. She's 17 now, been doing it since middle school at least. I never told her she couldn't, said it was a bad idea, but it made her feel good about her appearance. I really thought it would come in thick, but it never has, and according to her, it doesn't grow that fast anyway. She's happy, I'm happy, there is no reason I feel I should stop her.

Totally agree. For some reason my youngest has a lot of darkish hair on her back. She's blond and not hairy otherwise so it's odd. Not an issue yet as she's not old enough for kids to look at stuff like that but I don't think the hair is going away and as soon as it starts to bother her, we'll address it. Of course appearances should't matter but that's not realistic.

I couldn't agree with you more. My daughters are 9 and 11. The 11yr old is an expert shaver at this point and my 9yr old (with her extremely high level of pain tolerance) has used the electric razor, but prefers waxing. If they ever ask me for laser hair removal (and if I can afford it when they do), I will HAPPILY let them do that.

I haven't followed this totally, but here is my answer to the basic question.. First, I don't see any 'moral' issue in this question at all. Second, and this is only my own personal experience - which certainly may not apply to every situation - When I was first starting to have hair issues, my mother told me that I shouldn't start shaving too soon because it would only encourage more hair growth. I listened to her, and waited, then didn't shave often. Now, in my adult years, shaving is almost a non-existent need. Perhaps we emphasize shaving too much and cause more problems than we prevent.

I don't think this is about "morals". I think this is about young girls becoming sexualized WAY too soon. I saw a little 6-7 year-old girl at my daughter's orthodontist's office yesterday doing a 'booty dance' in the game room. Shaking her but like a tiny stripper. It was... disturbing. I see young girls dressing scantily, acting older than they are. 1st and 2nd graders "dating". It's ridiculous. I don't blame any parent who wants to preserve their daughter's innocence for a while.

That said, if one of my daughters had really noticeable hair and it was causing her to feel self-conscious, I wouldn't have a problem with her shaving. I just don't see any need for an 8-year-old to shave.

Lol Jo, my daughter could have shaved as a newborn too, she was one hairy baby. She's still hairy, but not as bad. She's 8 1/2 and asks about it every now and then, but I think it's more because she want to hurry up and be a teenager than that she's getting teased. If she gets teased or self-concious I will absolutely help her learn how to shave. My reluctance at this point isn't really about age but about maturity - it's a commitment to a routine that I know she is not ready to keep up with no matter how much she thinks she is. So that's my reason for saying 'no' right now. She hasn't given me a good reason to say 'yes' and I know she doesn't understand the full ramifications of the decision (it gets old fast and she doesn't get that, lol)

Seriously??? There are moral implications?????

Sorry - but Wow!! It never occurred to me that somone wouldn't let their daughter shave if they needed it....

Maybe they don't want to admit ther baby is growing up? As soon as she needs to I will teach my daughter how to shave... I will get her her own electric razor and teach her how to use it (sorry hate conventional ones, love my electric). If she is too young to do it on her own, then I will help her. That simple...

Can't wait to read other repsonses!!

I agree. My daughters both have blond hair on their legs, so it's not super noticeable, but if and when they become uncomfortable with it and want to remove it, I will absolutely allow them to shave. I don't think it's a big deal. (My daughters are 7 and almost-10.)

Frankly, I would prefer DD not shave til she is 10 or 11 but if she came to me before that, we'd discuss it. She does have darkish leg hair already. But I'd really sit down with her and find out what prompted it because if it's an overall self-esteem problem, she needs more than a razor. And maybe it could be helped with a product similar to Sun In to lighten it vs shaving. I don't see it as a moral issue. But I also don't want to encourage DD to grow up too fast or put too much weight on a random comment.

For my parents, and maybe for others, I think they knew that once you start, you have to keep doing it, and it's a pain. But also, I think they hoped that boys wouldn't be interested as soon if we were too hairy!

Great question, I agree.

I wasn't allowed to shave until I was 13 and it was embarrasing. I made a promise to myself that as soon as my daughter started asking, I'd let her shave. She's blond and was a late bloomer so didn't start shaving until 14.

I agree! Other than having them start unnecessarily which is silly, who cares.

My daughter was/is VERY hairy - she gets it from her dad's side of the family.

However, her father and I BOTH told her that if she started shaving too early - that the hair would grow back darker and faster (even after divorce we were on the same page about this).

She waited. She also surrounded herself with friends who accepted her as she was and not forced her into doing something "they" were doing...

After she turned 14 - the hair lightened and changed. She did start shaving and now she feels like she needs to shave every other day in order to keep the hair under control. She does wax her lip and eye brows and that works for a week - more or less depending upon her hormones...