Thank You Note Dilemma

He is the adult, he received the gift, he should write the thank- yous. If he doesn't, then he is the one who appears to have no manners, not you. However, I don't think many people will think much of it if they don't receive a thank you from him. For some reason, guys get off the hook with this kind of thing. Besides, if you do write and sign the cards, that looks pretty silly, too. It's like you are his mama. If he told everyone "thank you" at the party, just leave it at that. It's not your problem.

Hi Shannon,

I would write them yourself - and don't worry if your husband doesn't see the need in it. In the thank you note, first thank them for coming to the surprise party, that them being there made the evening so special and then continue to thank them for the wonderful gift they brought your husband and go on about how much he enjoys them and appreciates them. They won't care who wrote it, they'll just be appreciative to receive a thanks.

-Char

Shannon,
I'm in a similar boat, as I ALWAYS write thank-you notes -- that's how I was raised. My husband sounds a lot like yours. I would write the notes, but phrase them along the lines of, "I'm so glad you could join in the surprise! So&so had a fabulous time and will love XYZ gift..." Then, either sign just your name, or both of your names. I wouldn't phrase it as if it was from him, because the recipient will know the truth anyhow, and it is you thanking them.
Good luck!
M.
PS. Perhaps some personalized masculine stationery for your hubby might help with the nudging for next time? I've had great results from americanstationery.com with cards, notes, etc. I've been ordering from them for years!

Hi Shannon,

Since you threw him the surprise party, I wouldn't think there would be anything wrong with you writing the notes and signing them with both your name and his. A "Thanks" from you for making it a special celebration and thanks from him for the gift!

Now, had he thrown a party for himself then didn't want to write the notes it would be different!

D.

I agree with Staci - if he doesn't want to do it - that's his decision. It's not necessarily a guy kind of thing. If it is something out of character for him, his friends will know it wasn't his idea and know it really came from you. Not to mention, the only thank-you notes from men that I have received are from my brother-in-law. It was a one sentence that said, "thank you for the ..." I knew it was really not his idea to send it. I would rather he save the stamp and card. Women have more of a knack to fill up space. It ends up looking silly.

Writing "thank you" notes is so NOT a guy thing to do. In fact the other guys would think he's a little weird if he did. If it is important to you it is proper and to be expected for you to do the notes & sign them in your name.
I agree with the other mom who said to thank them for coming & mention that he loves the gifts, love, you.