Thank You All - Removing Now.

Hi LEAP!!
Is this your 'deep dark secret'?

If so, two words....
Wait til after Christmas.

:)

Hi L. ! I Second - Wait till after the holiday!
I'm sorry your dealing w/ this, but once its Over - You Should feel a lot better - xoxoxoxoxo

I handle this situration by speaking the truth in love. Honestly analyze your motives. Choose your words wisely and make your actions line up with your words.

This year I had to share something personal with a coworker but I did it as delicately as I thought possible. She stopped speaking to me but my conscience was clear. Eventually management had the same conversation with her about her hygene as well as her treatment of me. She just believes there was some kind of conspiracy against her but the reality was the fumes coming from her body was really affecting the office and you know it's bad when male co-workers are complaining about the stench too.

At first I did feel bad about her not speaking to me and went over what I had said to her and then I determined that her response was unwarranted.

You may not need to speak to him about your situation at all. You may want to consider just living your life and let him watch you living your life but please don't lead him on if there is no future for him in your world other than being the father of your son. I hope this helps.

Practice. Write out what you want to say, and rewrite and read them out loud and change what doesn't work. I think a lot of the fear and dread comes from not feeling prepared. You certainly don't have to read from a card when you get there, but if you take the time to find the words before you are in the conversation, then you can be in the moment and deal with the feelings and reactions properly.

Also, anticipate all the possible reactions you could get. What would you do if he swears at you and leaves? Or if he goes cold and silent? The more you can think through all the possibilities and plan for them as best you can, the more solid you'll feel going into it, knowing that you can handle whatever happens.

Beyond that, be brave and take a lot of deep breaths. Everyone will be OK, even if it hurts and feels awful, there is truth and openness on the other side.

umm a tough one indeed.. However, if this conversation needs to take place then.... speak from the heart.... if your true intentions (intentions are what counts) are pure and good, then you must speak up... It's nice to consider another's life, but you must also consider yours... if you are not happy and something needs to change, then maybe you are the one needs to get the ball rolling... remember, a journey of a 1,000 miles begins with the first step... take the step you need to..... and if it's difficult.. consider this... is it more difficult to NOT speak up and if you don't, can you live with that decision??
best of luck..
keep us posted

.

Tell the truth. Everyone appreciates that and it's not something that can be argued in general. Surely you have a factual basis on which you've based the conclusion, right?
There's real guilt and there's fake guilt..... don't let fake, self induced guilt get you down.
Face the Grizzley, get it over with so you can go back to normal. The sooner it's on the table the better for everyone to prepare, face and deal.
Good luck with this mysterious problemo.

My advise would be to just get it over with. Although with the holidays coming, do you really want to ruin someone's life right now? Are you sure that you even NEED to tell this person whatever it is? Sometimes things should just be kept to ourselves. For example: His/Her husband/wife had an affair, but it is over and done with, they have decided what they did was wrong and regret it very much. Is there really any need to let the spouse know about it. Not really, what good would come from that? Of course if the affair was still going on and there was no intent to stop, then that is a different story. It is really hard to give advise on this without actually knowing the content of what you are going to be revealing to this person. I think that you should really think long and hard about the outcome of this and why you feel it is necessary to expose whatever it may be. I am sorry that you are in this situation, and I hope that you get some feedback that will help you deal with it.