Thank You All for the Great Advice!

Bosses don't want to hear that, unfortunately, and they don't have sympathy for mom's. You might want to look around for another job (this one may fall thru). After a baby is born, they need to go to the doctor, because they get sick. More time off. Bosses are not sympathetic. Sometimes you have to make a decision on necessity instead of wants.

Hi there, H.: It sounds like you may already have your answer from the Dermatologist you are working for in the response she gave you previously that she has an office to run and this is your personal problem. So it doesn't appear from what she has said previously that she's going to be sympathetic to your dilemma.

You didn't state whether you have to work because if you don't, you should consider staying home - your health and the health of your unborn child should come first.

I agree with all the advice so far about going to talk with your OB and getting something in writing that says you need to cut back on work. After that, I would schedule an appointment with your office manager. Don't try to catch her between patients or during busy hours. Try to get one-on-one time. For that meeting, come prepared! Given that the office is so busy they probably have an HR dept. Does the practice have a written policy regarding pregnancy and maternity leave? If so, know that policy before going into your meeting so that you will know if what you are asking for is within the boundaries of that policy. Have a plan prepared - based on your dr's recommendations, these are the hours you can work and the activities you are allowed to do, you are willing to train a temp replacement, etc. Without a plan you will have no power in negotiating your schedule and you will irritate your supervisor for wasting her time. Be empathetic to how this may be an imposition to the practice but also stress how your baby is your number 1 priority right now. This would also be a good time to discuss arrangements for maternity leave (if you haven't done so already) so that they can prepare for your absence. If anyone else in your office has recently had a baby I would also ask them what agreements were made regarding reduced working hours and maternity leave. If the office has accomodated special circumstances in the past, use that to your advantage (but only if the person came back to work and is well liked by the staff - otherwise it could work against you).

H.,

I am sad to hear that you have a boss who is so insensitive to you, your baby and your health. Unfortunately it seems as though this seems to be more common than ever. It sounds as though you have a great supportive husband though and that always helps. I was wondering if you have considered working from home, allowing yourself to rest when needed and also spend more time with your children. I made a decision just recently that I was really tired of working for and with people that were just insensitive and some that were downright nasty. I had two friends that were working with a company called Work at Home United so I talked to them to see what they were actually doing because they are both always saying how much they love it and how happy they are. I listened to a 25-minute phone presentation and was immediately sold that this was the way that I wanted to go with my life. Unlike Mary Kay, Pampered Chef or any of those companies, there is no selling and delivering of products, hosting parties or having to invest a lot of money up front.

I would love to help you make a positive change in your work situation and your life. If you are interested, please e-mail or call me. I look forward to hearing from you.

Regards,
A. - Marketing Executive III
Work at Home United
Your Life, Your Dreams, Your Business
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Definitely get a note from your doctor stating that you need limited hours. However, be careful how you approach this with your boss. You only have legal rights if you qualify for FMLA, and not everyone does, so do some research and know your rights.

Definately talk to your OB, and even take leave if need be. Look into the law as well. You'll feel more confident if you know the law, better yet...know what they are allowed and not allowed to do. Boundaries are overstepped all the time. Though with a Dr. order, they are less likely to give you a hard time.

If you are able to financially, take your leave...especially if you think you'll catch flack from the boss or co-workers for dropping to part time. Your baby does come first. Don't let them bully you!

Peace and Blessings!

Hi H. - working mom issues are never easy! I agree with doing all you can, eating healthy, water, feet up, to make sure you have as much energy as possible. I also agree that you should schedule an appt with the office manager and go in with options/plan for maternity leave. I'll go part time and we can hire a pt temp, that way the pt temp can go ft once I'm on leave, etc. If you go in defensive, "these are my rights" "you have to", etc they will automatically get defensive and the working environment will probably become even less pleasant. Go in first with options, as understand you still have responsibilities as an employee and they have an office to run, not to say that a good employer knows the value of a trained employee and should be flexible. If that doesn't work then get the drs note. If you plan to go back after the baby you want to make sure your pregnancy was on good terms so that your maternity leave and when you come back is a better working relationship.

This "advice" comes from personal experience. I'm a manager who's assistant just came back from maternity leave, and I'm also 18 wks prego with twins and a 3yo at home. There's a balance between getting the job done and being flexible for the most important job - mommyhood :)

Best of luck!

You need to talk to your OB about either cutting back your hours or taking paternity leave. There is nothing your employeer can do if you come in with a note from your DR saying you need reduced hours. If they fire you, you have a law suite because they can't fire you for being pregnant.

Good luck and congrats!
S.

First of all good luck with your pregnancy and new addition!
My suggestion would be to hang tight for the 2nd trimester at least, a lot of times you will feel better in the middle of the pregnancy than you even will later in the third trimester. Better to take it slow and easier at that time? My daughter just had a little girl three weeks ago today, and felt much the way you are describing throughout her pregnancy, she worked up until the 37th week, and was scheduled for a c-section 38 1/2 weeks. She did take advantage of a day of furlough for the last few weeks that she worked due to the economy downfall when the doctor asked for volunteers.
Again, good luck, hang in there! May the Lord bless you and keep you throughout your motherhood.
M.

I would look into the fact that legally it is NOT a personal problem. You cannot lose your job for being pregnant. I would talk to your OB and see what he/she says and if you need to cut back or take early leave, they can most likely document that for your employer. I would check into it.

It's hard to give any advice without knowing your family's financial situation. Is hubby's job very secure. Can he totally support the family for possibly a couple of years?With our economy you may not find another job very quickly. If he can, simply say to her,something like this -" Iknow you have a very busy office to run but I need to cut back to only working part time for awhile. I know Iwill be out ____ weeks when my baby is born and would very likely want to start back working part time. Do you think we can work something out?" If she says no she only wants a full time employee,you need to be very gracious,offer to stay and help train your replacement. If you have a bad day just call in sick after you have turned in your notice. Talk with your husband and go very carefully over your finances before taking this step. Does he carry the family's health insurance? Whatever the outcome with your boss, please do not lose your cool, You may need her as a reference in the future. V.

Sounds to me as if your office manager is a bit selfish and in my opinion doesn't really know how to run an office at all (everybody has issues at one point or another-having a baby is a normal occurance). If she did she wouldn't say sounds like a personal problem to me especially when it concerns someones health. What good would you be to her/the office if you didn't have your health? It's either deal with it now or deal with it later and the consequences for later could cost you your life or your baby.
Okay so besides ALL of that it is your lawful right to be able to work part-time if need be while pregnant. I personally would make an appointment with my OB and inform them of the situation and ask them if they would be willing to write a note to your job telling them that you can only work part-time because you are on partial "bed rest" I'm sure they know how to word all that stuff and there ain't a darn thing she can do or say without the issue of possibly being sued for discrimination.
I was pregnant with twins and was in and out of the hospital for "pre-term contractions" they finally ended up putting me on bed rest at 28 weeks. I delivered at 36 weeks and they had to write a note to my job explaining that I was on medical leave per doctor's orders! My boss was not the easiest boss to work for and I always felt as though the guilt trip was laid on me because I had to leave work early to go not only to my regular ob appointment but also to a specialist due to the fact I was carrying multiples. It is a "personal problem" albeight however its your health as well as your unborn child-anyone who doesn't understand that is not worth working for in the first place. Women have had baies for centuries upon centuries and women give birth everyday from every walks of life. You are pregnant and they have enforced laws to protect you for that reason. Right now believe me not they wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole for fear that you would go and claim that you were "let go" because you were pregnant. Unless they are just that stupid.....any way my two cents.

I found a great solution for my employees, they job share. They work out their own hours, I don't care which one is in the office as long as the hours are covered. I bet there is another young mother in your shoes who would love to share a job with you. Good luck.

She sounds like Veronica from Better Off Ted. Have you seen that show? It's hilarious. But your situation is not. She has no right to treat you that way. Others have mentioned your legal rights. Just be careful that she doesn't force you to quit by making an uncomfortable working environment for you. Keep a record of things she does that are questionable. See if there are other women who have experienced the same treatment from her. They may not want to put their own employment in jeopardy, but it may be taken to whomever is above her in the company. Stand up for yourself & your baby. Good luck!!!

You may need to ask your dr. abouat the issues and get a written request for you to be able to have some time sitting, cut hours, etc. Maybe you could job share with someone? Get creative and come with solutions. It's not worth your baby's life for you to overdo it. We women sometimes feel like we should be able to do anything, work like a horse and mother and housework and carry a baby and guess what? You can't do it all. And not pay a price.

as a derm myself i'm a little surprised a physician would respond that way to a true medical condition. i would consider talking to your ob about the contractions, perhaps getting a note for work slow-down/restriction. could you perhaps be moved to the phones for part of the day doing nurse calls and paperwork? I also think you might need to plan a meeting to sit down with the doc and let her/him know that you are truly concerned about the health of your baby but want to work with her to perform well at work without endangering the baby. if the derm is that lacking in understanding, i'd consider looking for another job.

I understand how you feel. I worked 12 hour shifts up until the week I delivered. My fiancee losr his job, so things were tight for us, so I didn't have much of a chioce. Persoanlly, I was glad I did. With my 1st baby, I was on bed rest for a month and a half, and sitting at home was horrible!!! I was so bored. I would just say try to talk to your boss first. Tell him honestly how your feel. And if you have to just try to stick it out. Pregnancy doesn't last forever.

Lots of water, esp. now that it's getting hotter. I was drinking two liters while working during my third tri. Also sit and rest whenever you can. Good prenatals and maybe some B vitamin supps for energy? Eat whole foods, not fast foods, not lean cuisine, etc. Fruits and veggies can give great energy boosts. Cut out any sodas, even if non-caffeinated. All those chemicals can really be hard on your body.