All of my children are very involved in sports. My 12 yr daughter is currently playing on a 7th grade bball team with about 14 other girls. The coach only plays 5 to 6 of the girls per game so my daughter who I know isnt the best ball player on the bench usually gets to play about 1minute to 30second of the entire game. She LOVES basketball and I hate that this coach is making it drama. I try to say encouraging things to her after the games but she seems to be turned off from it. You know it sinks that everyone says that kids should be active and then when they find something that their passionate about it gets snuffed out. Just wondering if anyone else has been it this situation.
Thank you for all of your advice and knowledge. My daughter is still dressing for bball with only a couple of games to go. We have had some serious talks the last couple of days and she is feeling better about the situation. She decided that just being with her friends and getting the extra exercise was worth it. She also wants to play in a couple of camps this summer hopefully that will help a little. Just PRAY for us volleyball is in a couple of weeks.
I had the same problem with my daughter, except with soccer. I just kindly talked with the coaches and explained how my daughter felt and they were very understanding. From then on they played her double the amount of time as they were before. So before you try to change coaches, give them a chance and just talk to them.
I agree with the other mom. find something to supplement for the time she's not getting at school in basketball. if that's what she wants to play then darn it, she should play. at this age no one really takes them seriously especially with that many girls on the team. my lil bro plays with the YMCA, he's really young and they don't have basketball yet. outside programs can cost but i think it would be better for her so that she builds her confidence. this might be your lil WNBA player. do not let a coach deny her of trying something out that she wants to do. hope that helps.
i know you mentioned that your child is not the best at b-ball so maybe you or your husband should work with her on her skills. there are also b-ball camps she can go to as well (sorry, i don't have any info on where some is). once her skills improve she will get more playing time. i know right now it should just be for fun, but some coaches take it a little more serious than others. i wasn't so hot at b-ball in high school at first, but my skills improved and i ended up playing varsity in 10th grade. i didn't really care for b-ball, but i did play it to get me prepared for track season. maybe she might be better at somrthing else?
I had the same thing happen to me when I was your daughters age. My mom spoke to the coach in Jr High but it did not help much, I ended up quiting in high school. It was not fair, I practiced the running etc like everyone else.
I would suggest you try to find like a local team that is not with the school. Some churches have them. Your school or YMCA will be able to help you.
Unfortunately it is this way with all sports, especially in the first year. The coaches want to win, that's how they keep their jobs so they will play their best players most all of the game. It sucks!! My son plays football he is in his third year and he is just this year playing during most of the game. There were times I would get so frustrated and hurt for him that I would cry myself to sleep at night over it. Tell her if she really loves playing to just enjoy the practices and the few minutes on the court. Over the next few years as she has more practice and gets better i'm sure the coach will begin to play her more.
i have to wonder now if our girls play on the same team!
my 12 year ild is also in b-ball and loves it, however, we have had tears after a few games. she too isnt the greatest player, but dam she sure tries her heart out!
it bothers me that she doesnt get to play most because i know she will never have the chance to get better if she doesnt...when she plays with her firends, she does fairly well, but its the whole trying to remember who to gaurd, coach screaming at her, nervousness that gets her....and whats worse, she wont make it in high school where they have to try out. now thats sad.......basically the coaches are smashing all hope for her and the 3-4 other girls who sit the bench with her.
my husband has come close to telling the guy off, my daughter has come close to quitting. i wont let either of them...yet. we only have a few weeks left.i hope she still wants to play next year, but i have to say i will understand if she doesnt.
I think all the kids should get the opportunity to play. Afterall, it is about them. The coach should try and get every child to have the chance to play in each game, win or lose. Talk to him about it
Queen
This can be frustrating for both you and your daughter. I had a similar problem with my son and switching coaches was the solution. The Coach that he has now is wonderful with the kids and my son actually asks to go to extra practices! This coach does have girls teams, although I'm not sure what grades. You might check out www.warriorhoops.net. The Coach is Gary Newsome and the approach is fundamentals and Christian based. If you'd like to talk more, give me a call 913/706-6926.
DO NOT GET BENT OUT OF SHAPE ABOUT IT. LOOK FOR ANOTHER TEAM . THE YMCA OF AMERICA USUALLY HAVE TEAMS. TEAMS SPORTS THESE DAYS ARE ALL ABOUT WINNING BUT WE DO NOT WANT OUR CHILDREN THINKING THAT BECAUSE THEY SHOULD BEA LEARNING TOOL. ALSO, PRACTICE WITH YOUR CHILD TO SHOW HER THAT YOU ARE WILLING TO SEE HER IMPROVE. IN ALL SPORTS THESE DAYS ONLY THE BEST CHILDREN PLAY MAINLY AND THAT IS NOT FAIR BUT IT REALITY. SO IF YOU CAN NOT PLAY WITH HER , ASK A HIGH SCHOOL BOY ON A TEAM TO HELP HER INT HE AREAS SHE NEEDS HELP AND WATCH PROUDLY AS SHE IMPROVES. GOOD LUCK AND GOD BE WITH YOU.
I don't really have any advice for you other than what everyone else has already said, but I wanted to give you my support. I HATE the way some coaches are so competitive, picking the kids they think have the best chance to WIN. This is the time for developing a love of the sport, an "I Can" sensibility and a good self-concept. Since when did winning become more important than all that? I'd maybe write a letter to the league managers when the season is over, saying you'd like to see the league a little less about winning, a little more about learning the sport and having fun. I'd wait till after season in case your coach takes it the wrong way and takes it out on your daughter.
