Terrible Twos... HELP!!

Put her diapers back on (not Pullups). When she has a tantrum, pick her up and deposit her in her room and shut the door. Don't let her know that you are outside of the door holding the doorknob. Let her think that you are nowhere around so that she does not have an audience for her tantrum. Only after she has stopped crying does she get to come out of her room.

Her behavior right now is at a critical juncture. You must deal with the tantrums and nip them in the bud. Potty training takes a second seat to this because you will NOT win here making her potty like you want. You CAN win the tantrum war.

NEVER give into her for ANYTHING when she has a tantrum. You cannot get her to listen when she is doing this. You just put her in her room and don't give her any attention whatsoever. When she stops crying, you open the door and say "Are you done?" If she starts up again, shut the door again. You must be firm and unapologetic. She will not want to be separated from you, but this is how you make her understand that she cannot do this without negative repercussions.

If she does it while you are out and about, strap her in her carseat and stand outside the car and ignore her. Stop whatever you are doing and just take her out to the car and all she can do is struggle in her carseat. be firm and tell her that if she has a tantrum, there is NO park and NO fun and you will take her home. Follow through every single time even though it messes up your fun too.

Get ahold of it now or you will be very sorry that you didn't. Once she understands that tantrums only get her dumped in her room or strapped in her carseat, she will straighten up and then you can readdress potty training.

Good luck,
Dawn

good book: Happiest Toddler on the Block by Dr. H.Karp. It looks at things from her point of view, she is just figuring out she is independent and it is natural for her to want to assert her independence. find ways she can. Never ask her yes or no questions, never act like you are ASKING her to go to the bathroom, get her shoes on, eat dinner, brush teeth. but DO give her lots of choices, red shirt or yellow shirt? do you want to sit next to Daddy or Mommy at the dinner table? Do you want mommy to help you with your shoes or Daddy? Do you want the yellow toothbrush or the pink?
Give her a decision to make constantly and she will be too busy to throw tantrums.

All sorts of sneaky tricks you can learn. Try some books like the Happiest Toddler etc..

How long does this stage last - ha ha! Um the next 20 years lol. Basically around 1.5 kids start this and then it's one challenging stage after the other. You may get some relief starting in small phases at age 4.

That's why they say "Motherhood is not for wimps".

Hang in there :)

Distraction works great at this age. So, here are some phrases to get her on the potty:

Are you going to go potty before me or after me
Shall we race to the potty and see who gets to go first
Let's go potty and then see who can make the biggest bubbles ( with soap)
Let's go see if they have a little potty here
Let's show X how you can use the potty
D you want to walk or shall I carry you to the potty

With that said, expect regressions and little battles. Don't engage. If she refuses, let her pee her pants. Don't make a big deal of it, just encourage her by saying, next time you will get it all in the potty.

They don't start listening till....never! It gets better at 4.

I'd ignore the others. She is too big for diapers, she knows what to do, so just hang in there.

This is but 1 phase... of childhood.
Many more will follow.
Childhood is a long time.
LOL

Don't worry, this too shall pass.

Don't push the pottying.
A child will do it when they are ready. Then when they are, it will be MUCH easier.
Your child is young.

I agree with what Dawn posted earlier. I often take my 3 yr old to her room or leave a store/restaurant without finishing. It sucks for me, but makes a big impression on her.

Another good book is 1-2-3 Magic.

And hold onto your hat...3 was much worse for both of my kids but 4 does get better.

Put the potty on hold for a bit and nip the defiant tantrums NOW (2 is getting set in her ways) and your whole life will be easier. Back to Basics Discipline by Janet Campbell Matson has a very fast and effective method. I've got three non-tantrummers including a born rager who is now a terrific three to prove it. Don't let her do that.