TERRIBLE Twos and Temper Tantrums

Updated on July 17, 2007
E.A. asks from Dearborn, MI
5 answers

My 2 year old daughter had a temper tantrum for 25 minutes yesterday because I wouldn't pick her up when she wanted me to. In a gentle and soothing voice, I explained that Mama has to get ready for church, and I will hold her when she stops crying. Any communication with her only makes her more upset and hysterical. This is the second time this happened and it only really happens when she doesn't get her way. I don't want this to become a habit. Is there anything I can do? Most of the time, she's a sweet, funny little girl, but these recent tantrums have made me second-guess her personality. I DEFINITELY want to nip this habit in the bud. Is this a normal part of 2 year old behavior?

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J.S.

answers from Kalamazoo on

Yes this is very normal i have a 2 year old also and when he doesnt get his way he throws a fit also... my mom told me that i should just ignore him when he does this because if i draw attention whether its good or bad attention its still attention and thats what they want .. but i will say that the whole thing of sending them to there room when they get whiny or throwing fits is a good idea .. i tell my son to go in his room until he is done acting like a "baby" then he goes in there for a couple minutes and comes out when hes done and tells me that he is done. so good luck and believe me where all going through it .. so good luck

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L.P.

answers from Detroit on

It is nice to know that I am not the only one with a crabby two year old! My son is like an emotional wreck these days! If he does not get his way, it is the end of the world! We have done time outs and they work most of the time. But it is hard to do that in public! We try to ignore him, but he is just so loud sometimes. My husband has taken him out of stores and sat with him in the car, and that works too, but he is not always with us at the store! So, I hope these little hints help, but if you have any please send them my way too!

By the way, my son loves the Wiggles too!

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A.H.

answers from Grand Rapids on

E., I am going through the exact same thing right now! My happy, laid back little boy has turned into a monster at times! I found that there is really nothing to eliminate the tantrums themselves, but when he starts, I ignore him and let him get it out. When he realizes that he's not getting a response from me, he usually slows right down. Sometimes, when it's really bad and needs a response, I usually say, "oh, come on, you can do better than that" or "your last one was so much better!" He really doesn't know what to think of that, so he tries for another minute or two and then goes on to play with a toy. Now, when we've been in public (mostly the grocery store) and I'm trying to eliminate complete embarrassment, I've just asked him questions on another subject to try to get him to stop ("do you think that we should buy grapes or apples today?" or "do you know where they keep the toilet paper?"). Sometimes this works, sometimes it doesn't. Unfortunately, I think that this is just a phase that comes with the age. We all have to go through it, some have it a little rougher than others. Good luck!

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B.W.

answers from Grand Rapids on

When my 2 year old gets winey, and crying I send her to her room and tell her that when whe stops she can come out. It works like a charm, when she starts to get mad, she goes in on her own. She will even tell me when I peak in to check on her "no Time Out" She will stay in her room and play with her quiet time toys till she is ready to come out and use her words. It is ususally somthing really silly, like she wants a yellow cup not red, or she wanted to help mix the chocolate milk.
On big thing to curbe tantrums is to always make sure the child is feed, and rested.

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A.A.

answers from Kalamazoo on

Yep, pretty normal. :) When my little girl had temper tantrums at that age, I would take her and isolate her until the tantrum was over. Without the attention they usually last a shorter period of time. During the temper tantrum I didn't try to talk or reason with her (because it's usually pointless anyway), but I did let her know that she would be punished when she was done because that is not acceptable behavior. Then I put her on her bed, on a chair, in her pak 'n' play, etc...somewhere safe. When she was all finished, I'd go back and talk with her. We talked about how inappropriate it was, how to talk/act next time, and she got a spanking as discipline. I can't remember the last time a temper tantrum happened so that worked for us. She'll be 4 in August.

Learning that there is a world "outside" of themselves is a hard lesson to learn, but it's so important. I don't believe that anything should be done or given to a child who is whining, crying, or tantruming though. I don't believe in bribing for good behavior either. Find something that works for you, and then stick with it! Consistency is essential!

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