Terrible Twos

The best advice that I can give is to start setting a regular schedule now. you need to gain control over his bed time. It sounds as though he is controlling the bedtime situation. you should create a set bedtime that is followed every night (obviously there will be nights that are out of the ordinary) and create a bedtime routine. We get into Pj's, brush teeth, read books, rub back and then I walk out -- tears or not. My almost three year old daughter knows the routine and she knows that if she gets out of bed, that I will come in and take one of her binkies away for the night. I have had to do it twice, many many months ago and she got the picture and has not gotten out of bed since. Your son could be waking up because he is overtired, which I know sounds odd, but is how it works with little ones. I highly recommend "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth. It has been my sleep "bible" since my daughter was three months old, and it goes up to the age of 5, I think. For my daughter, the later she goes to bed, the earlier she wakes up. So also, the earlier she goes to bed, the later she sleeps. I know it is hard to hear them cry, but you are doing him a favor by teaching him how to put himself to sleep in his own bed, without your assistance. If you stay calm and are consistent, it should not take more than two weeks to train him. Good luck!

you and your husband should come up with a consistent bedtime routine and-here's the key-stick with it. i would stop letting him fall asleep on the couch. also, i've seen some different methods used on tv. one is give him a pass or two that will bring you in there, but after that, he's on his own. i suggest starting on a weekend because there may be some screaming. also, you can offer him to play in his room, but he can't come out. i've also seen where there is a stage process where the parent sits quietly in the room first on the bed, then next to the bed, then literally moves farther away from the bed. there is no verbal or eye contact, just presence.

mine is 19months and now realizes when daddy comes home, it's time for bed. she is first excited to see him, then starts to cry. we let her play for a little bit, but then back to our routine. so far, it's been working.

You definately have to get a bedtime routine. Pajamas, read and into the crib you go! Let him cry it out. He should be in bed no later than 8. (my son is also 2 and goes to bed at 7 and sleeps 12 hours)

He should be able to go into the kitchen. When you say no they want to do it more! The cabinet idea is a great idea. You really should not spend the day saying no. They tune it out after awhile. You should redirect the behaviour and distract him with something else. I rarely say "no" to my son.

Hi,
I keep a couple of low cupboards totally availble to my two year old (with tupperwear in one and other plastic stuff in another) and I close off the ones he's not allowed in. I also have a special stool-like thing for kids that allows him to "stand" at the counter. Once there, I give him other kitchen tools to look at, or food to nibble on while I cook/clean. It's helped us out a lot. I try to find as many "yes's" to balance out my numerous "no's". I hope this is helpful.
Good Luck.
-N.

Firt, stop being so hard on yourself! What works for one family doesn't work for all. For Sleep: Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution is great. For discipline: I think Time Out/Naughty spot are great. If done right I only have to warn her (almost 4) and if she goes to the naughty chair se is sad & mad but acts better all day. Good Luck

I am curious why he wants in the kitchen? Does he seem to go after food, specific foods? Did he seem collicky as a baby? Was he a difficult napper? And this tummy to tummy sleeping, does it also occur when he is off of you? I mean that he prefers to sleep on his belly? I had a son like this and he slept only on me, had colic, never napped, went to bed at midnite til 6Am yet awoke frequently.... He had really bad colds that would last ALL winter and his nose seemed to run forever. And the kitchen was his spot. He'd scale counters for certain foods. FOOD ALLERGIES!!!!!!!!!!! K. please read up about it. Dr. Doris Rapp is a start. Natural Drs. have helped out alot....

When the child ingests the allergen it is so hard for the body to digest their system goes haywire. Sleep is always affected. They also CRAVE the allergen. Strange I know but it is something to watch. There are websites on kids with allergies, try it. We still struggle as our son is allergic to ALOT. And BEWARE soy is a top 5 allergen and yet ABUNDANT in our food supply, Gluten white refined flour, which has no redeeming nutritional value anyway. I am not a fan of soy. There are 2 camps of belief. I side with the one that it is an estrogen and that is not good in abundance let alone in little men.... So ALot to think about. But like you I got told to try Nanny 911, you aren't being firm enough.ETC. I have 2 other kids neither have allergens and neither ever acted like Alastair. Once we discovered what was wrong what a change. So a thought can't hurt. But I do have a mini cupboard filled like you find at Target for a bathroom, filled with the kids dishes and some snacks and allow for some freedom. They help get their dishes, napkins, pour out the snack etc. Bedtime does like set structure for some kids, so do TRY a different routine but is the sleep itself is just not right. And remember the new routine can take a week or even 2. But some freedom to choose, like the food is a big one. It is really big with some kids and making the home a place they can be part of is important. And 2 years is about the time exploration really begins and they realize they are independent creatures, but we as parent set the boundries just do it in a way that allows growth, limits harm and keeps you sane too. But after all that with the illness and other comments food allergies were a big red flag.
Good Luck
N. W.