Terrible One's...

I'm sure you're right about her energy level having a lot to do with it. Next time try acknowledging what she wants. Simply say "I'll bet you really wanted to play in the sink didn't you?" Depending on her response you might want to follow up with trying to reach a solution together - "It's bed time now, but would you like to help mommy wash dishes tomorrow (or splash in the bath or whatever)" if she's too worked up you could always come down to her level and ask for a hug - if she refuses say ok, I'll be waiting when you're ready. This is not 'rewarding' her behavior but letter her know you understand. At 17 months she is having a tantrum to communicate with you. You mentioned in you post she doesn't understand many words, but at her age she really is understanding a lot more than she can verbalize.

It sounds simple enough but it's amazing how well it works. Stops my 13 month old in his tracks every time.

Dear Riley,

I agree with Kristen about the timer. This is just the start of a lot of battles. They always want more time for what they want. One thing that I have also used the timer for is time out. My daughter just turned two and started acting like a screaming banchee around the time of 15-16months. I would set her on one end of the couch and I would sit on the other end. I would set the timer for one minute. Then I would get down to her size and I showed her how to take deep breaths. Now I went from haveing her follow me around the house to her going to her room or sitting on the couch for about 5 mins and then she is fine. Some times we still have to use the breathing to help her calm down. I like this method because sometime they forget to be upset because they want to do what I am doing. Most of the time she can calm down by herself. I even use they methods on my daycare kids. Good Luck. Girls seem to do things sooner than boys.
B.

Yep, for girls especially, the terrible two's start around 18 months. My daughter had the same type of melt down around that age when bath time was over. She screamed for almost an hour and was soo out of control I couldn't even force her in to her jammies. She also came down with a cold the next day, so that is often a factor when they act totally out of character.

For how to deal, keep ignoring. Suddenly become very busy. Start cleaning, read a book, etc...She may scream for quite a while but if she sees that she is not getting your attention she will eventually stop. If you see that she is going from a screaming temper tantrum to a softer more sleepy cry then you can pick her up and soothe her, give her blankie or favorite stuffed animal and talk to her about how to calm down. At this age they don't know how to calm themselves very well, we have to teach them that too. At that age she should be understanding the basics of most things that are said to her at an age appropriate level.

Lastly, a kitchen timer is a godsend. Use the kind that you can actually hear ticking. Set it for however many minutes she has left and tell her when it rings it is time to stop playing in the water, get out of the tub etc... Its amazing how kids will argue with you till they're blue in the face but it doesn't even occur to them to question the almighty timer.

Good luck, you'll need it the 3's are even worse!

If you get any good suggestions let me know. I have a 21month old that is and has been horrible with tantrums for sometime now. All he does is scream. He doesn't talk very much or at all yet and it is so frustrating to both of us because I don't know what he needs and he can't tell me. We have tries sitting him in time out because I don't know what else will work. It sometimes does the trick pretty quickly but then other times he just screams there too! Ask your babysitter what she does when she throws a tantrum. We have one come one day a week and my son responds to her so much better than to me. I almost wonder if he is trying to see how much he can get a way with me. Good luck!

Ahhh, the joy to be followed around by a screaming child. For a tantrum that has gone on for over 5-10 minutes for such a little one, I will help them calm down by holding them and talking to them. She probably didn't really remember what she was upset about, but just couldn't calm down. I know my almost two year old usually needs me to hold her to get fully calmed down. I do the same thing with my three year old after her time out, I always hug her and let her know she is still loved. I'm 33 and I still want a hug after I've been upset! As long as you don't give in and give her what she wants, I don't think there is anything wrong in helping/teaching your little one how to calm down even after a punishment. Just don't apologize for your action (unless you were wrong) and explain why she can't do or have what she wants. I do ignore a lot of tantrums, especially when it comes with fake tears. YOu will learn which ones to help with and which to ignore. Enjoy this one because it gets worse, wait until she meltsdown at the store!

I have an almost 16 month old, and we have been having this problem for a while now. She is SO strong-willed (my mom said is serves me right!). We usually try to ignore it, although distracting her can also help. I was surprised how much talking to her can help. I assumed that because she has only a handful of words that she wouldn't understand much, but, wow, does she ever understand. Once we noticed this, we started warning her when it was almost time to stop whatever and do something else. That has made a huge difference! Good luck to you! Let me know what works out!
E.

I have a 15 month old daughter who just started doing the same thing closer to her bed time. We don't wan't to put her to bed too early since she will be up way too early so we ignore the tantrum and distract her by looking for a book to read or playing a game. At this age they are pretty easily distracted so it works a lot of the time.