Terrible 3'S?

I wish I had some great advice but I just wanted to let you know I am in the same boat. My 3 year old has been impossible lately and she also has a new (6 month old) little sister. We did start a responsibility chart with things like getting dressed, eating breakfast and dinner, brushing teeth, etc and it started to help. At the end of the week she got to pick out a new book if she had completed all her responsibilities. It isn't working right now though because she keeps pooping in her pants and so she doesn't get her potty magnet. Anwyay, it's a Melissa & Doug chart I got at Home Goods for $10.

Good luck! Let me know if something else works!

Your daughter seems to be expressing she doesn't like the fact that her baby sister is now getting all the attention that belongs to her. She nolonger understands where she belongs in the family unity.

Rebuild your relationship with your 3 year old. Make special alone time for her as often as you can. Cuddle with her...read to her...play with her...be silly with her...talk to her...take her out somewhere special that would be fun for her. Tell her she's a special big sister and when dealing with the baby, or house chores, get creative and ask her to help you with this or that..she might not do it well but thank her for her help anyway...it will make her feel important.

In doing all of that, be patient with her when she fusses...it will take a little time for her to understand she doesn't need to use negative behavors to get your attention any more...

Hi Y.! I just wanted to say that with my daughter there were no terrible two's- but 3 was torture! Good luck!

I would have to agree with the other post, sounds like she is looking for your attention.
My 2 yr old did the same thing, acted out against everything. We have our own mommy time now. Every morning we sit down together and drink our milk. It might only be 5-10 minutes, but it has helped. She loves it when I ask for help from her too. Try including your oldest in your routine with the 5 month old.

I used time outs in the corner with my two sons and my daughter. Let me tell you it was not easy. I had to physically hold him in the corner and set the timer. I did one minute for each year. The drawback.....each time I gave them a time out this meant I got one too! After a few months of that (which seemed like forever) they learned to stay there by themselves. Everyone was amazed at that, but no one realized what I did to get that going. It's a big commitment so think about it before you start. Also, I gave time outs in my room. There is NOTHING to do in my room. I made them sit on the vanity chair and that drove them crazy. By the third one I did the time outs........but was so tired I really got laxed and he is a little bit harder to handle because I sort of gave up. That's what happens when you have your first at 37! HA!
If you think it's more than just the age, and you think she resents the baby you could do what some of the other posts suggest as well. My son was only jealous of his new sister for about two days. I lucked out there! Now that he is hitting 18 I have more problems between the two of them than I did when they were younger. Every child and family is unique. But it's always something :)

That sounds SO familiar! And it sounds like she is right on target...my older daughter was an angel in the 2's, and once she hit 3 yrs old (and also had a 6 mo old sis!) we were living the life you describe! All I can tell you is be consistent in what you are demanding and expecting from her, and also make there be consequences for her actions. Both good and bad. Some days it won't seem like it - but there is an end in sight and each time she sees her bad behavior lead to XXXX, it will stick, and each time she sees mommy SO happy with her good behavior, that will stick too....eventually, it will! Its just a tough age, and tough to share everything with a little sibling so its a double whammy. You are not alone, and just know some days you will feel like the worst mom in the world because all you seemed to do that entire day is say "no!" and raise your voice to get her to listen, but just try to slow your world (and hers) down at HER bedtime, and read some books or just sing songs and snuggle her for some one on one before she sleeps and then wakes up to start it all over again in the morning!!!! good luck!

Sounds like she just needs some good old fashioned one on one time with mom and then some time to be her and baby. You did not say what kind of quality time she has with you. but I used to make a point of sitting down to the table with color book and crayons and coloring with my daughter every day. we would have cookies and milk and just chat. she understood if the baby cried i had to answer, but we would pick up where we left off until we had our quality time. I would also cuddle her up and rock her watching tv together. when we went shopping she got to pick her own cereal and if i was buying food for the baby, i would buy her a special treat. with my grandchildren, to get thier own yogurt is the bomb. they love yogurt. Make pancakes and make faces out of them. put chocolate chips in them, make waffles, the list goes on, she helped mix up the batter, and then i made them and we would sit down and slather them with maple syrup and butter or favorite preserves. This will make her feel like she belongs and is not missing out on Mommy time, Let her know that since she is a big girl Mommy and she get to do Big girl things.

God Bless. T.

Dear Y.,

I think your daughter is reacting to her new baby sister and just misbehaving for attention weather it be negative or positive. I think as difficult as it is you may need to spend some mommy time with her so she can realize that she has not lost her mommy she just has to share her time. Being jealous of a new baby is perfectly normal. My mother said when my brother was born I pinched him so hard she had to put a sign on the door to have company greet me first before my brother HA HA!! As far as her not listening, make sure you have her full attention when you ask her to do things. Give her a warning and then if she does not listen you have to give her consequences. Once she realizes there are consequences for not listening she will come around. When she does listen be sure to praise her for her good behavior and tell her how proud of her you are. This is a tough age to begin with but adding a sibling will only make it more difficult. Make sure to not make empty or unrealistic threats she will really not take you serious. Like the saying goes pick your battles and when you do make sure you win because if you don't they will eat you alive!! I am sure this is just a phase and with extra attention it will pass. Maybe when your husband comes home you can do something special with her and then throughout the day that can be your bargaining tool. If you do not listen to mommy we will not bake cookies later etc. and then follow through. Hope this helps. Good luck on your wonderful family and have a happy holiday!!