Temperment

Hi D.,
When my now 11 and 9 year old girls were that age, we experienced quite a bit of this behavior. What we did ( out of desperation) was to video tape their behavior (when they were at their worst) and the play it back for them so they could see themselves acting terrible. They were shocked at their own behavior and it really did work! We would also say to them while they were throwing a tantrum " you can do that all you want....we will be over here when you decide to stop". They soon realized how foolish they looked all alone :0) Last, do not ever give in while this behavior is going on. I used to say " I may give you what you would like, but once you start crying for it, you absolutely will NOT get it". We left many stores with a screaming child, but they learn quick! Good luck D.. I hope this info helped.
Take care,
M.

I feel your pain. We've been going through this with our 4 year-old. Generally we ignore her until she stops and can ask for what she wants in a calm voice. She's at the point where her fits are less about being able to communicate, and more about her trying to exert control. If you take away the control and attention, she'll stop.

We've also dealt with it with humor. My husband will say, "That's not a proper fit!" and then get down on his hands and knees to show her how to "properly" kick and pound. She typically looks at him as if he has a screw loose (which he does!) and then lose interest in her own fit. We've only had to do it a few times and she realizes she's A)not getting her own way and B)looking ridiculous.

Good luck!

OK, he's 28 now with a boy of his own, but my son didn't seem to care if I had a time out in the corner or not.. i just didn't know what to do. Then, I tried this and it worked like a charm:

When needed he would have to sit at the table, amidst all the family activity, and I'd set the timer on the stove for about 2 minutes. When the 'timer' said he could be done with his time out he could get off the chair. It worked. Took the onus off me, and it worked. I'd just say to him "do you need to sit at the table with the timer?"... lol... too funny now that I'm a Grammy.
Have fun......
L.
www.lbpureromance.com

I don't have much advice different than what is here, but I just want to say that I think this is a 4-year old trait! We are going through exactly the same thing with our four year old son and it is tough. His preschool teacher told me that he is very set in his ways and to keep trying to switch things up so he doesn't think he is in charge. And definitely never give in. We have been trying time outs on the bottom stair and a sticker system as well -- he can earn a sticker for the morning, the afternoon and the evening if he has no fits. He gets to pick some place fun to go like the zoo when it is full. That has been helping. Oh, the other thing I have found is that time outs for his toys work better than time outs for him. Yesterday he got a new computer game but he had a fit when it was time to put it away so the game is in time out for today -- he can get it back tonight if he has a good day. He already told me this morning how good he is going to be because he wants to earn it back. Good luck and I will be reading the replies eagerly!

E.

HI,
I Don't have quite the same problem as you but similar. My daughter keeps waking up in the middle of the night and comes in our room and has a fit. So I decided, after much screaming at each other, to try something different. I use a check system. If she stays in her room all night and doesn't bother us she gets a check, or sticker if you want, on a wipe away calander. If she gets a check every night for a week she gets a small prize, or whatever your daughter's favorite thing is (like ice cream, trip to the park, etc). This seems to have worked quite well. She has only had one fit, that didn't last very long, and its been almost a month. Good Luck!
-A.