Temper

Check out the website
www.positivediscipline.com

I can not explain the "miracle" that has happened in my household since reading their book. I have to say that it sounds like her daughter is looking for attention anyway she can get it.

It would be best for her to give her daughter lots of positive attention: extra hugs, story time, special time between mommy and me, one on one activities, tickle time, etc (of course when she is not behaving in this way) to PREVENT her from hurting herself for attention and the episodes should stop.

I know one of my sons started to hit his head on the wall when he got mad and I used to tell him "Don't hit my baby!!" and give him a big hug as though someone ELSE had hit him and start tickling him, etc to distract him and he stopped doing it. But, the key is to prevent the need for attention that is causing the behavior.

The book and even the website offers lots of ideas that should help her.

Hello L.,

Tell your friend she is not alone.
When my daughter was that age she use to do the same thing. I dont know why except she had a bad temper (still does but she is learning how to control it better)

When she use to bite her self(hard) and hit her self(hard) or bang her head(again....i mean hard); I would tell her NO and tell her it was bad to hurt herself. I also use to put her in her time out bench when she would do that and she hates to go in time out.
I also talked to her about expressing herself when she got mad instead of hitting or bitting or banging.

I am not sure when but she stopped but she did and she doesn't do it anymore. She will tell you when she is mad or angry but she does not hit or bite herself any more.

Tell your friend to hang in there and stay consistant in whatever she chooses to do. and hopefully her daughter eventually stop.
thanks,
S.

A littler about me:
I am 33, married and my daugher just turned 5. I have lived in Florida my whole life.

L.
the first responder says see a doctor. well, it could be a normal behavior for a two year old to attract attention. your friend shouldm ignore her. yes, once or twice she might really hurt herself but she won't do it again, and then your friend could bring it up with the pediatrician during next visit. good luck

My son did the same type thing.

She is trying to voice her frustrations. Her mom & dad (and everyone else around her) can encourage her to use her words when she's upset.

Get down at her level (even if she is on the floor crying) and use phrases such as:
"I know that you are upset, let's talk about it." or
or
"I can see that you are upset, can you tell me how you feel?" or
"It makes you angry when Mommy says no, doesn't it?"
or something like
"Can you please tell me why you are so upset? Is it because you can't have cake?"

Good luck - and it WILL get better if you all remain calm during that time and let her know how to properly direct her frustrations.

This is her way of getting attention. Believe it or not, reverse psycology usually works in this position. When she does these things, you laugh and say do it again. She may do it once more, but then she'll realize it hurts her more than you and she'll stop. Ask her mother if she did it when she was younger too. When I was young I did and then my son started to do it and that's why I know reverse psycology works. It worked for me and him. Good luck.

I have a niece who would throw fits when she didn't get her way and often times she would bang her head on the tile floor. Usually the banging came after no response to the fit itself.... and what I have found (and what her doctor recommended) was to just let them do it but DON'T give in to the fit or they will continue to hurt themselves. They learn that we jump in if they are hurting themselves and if that's the only way to break you, they'll do it. (Little stinkers huh?) I've heard it happens a lot and she should learn rather quickly as long as your friend does NOT give in when she does it.
Good Luck and God Bless.

Hey L., my two year old was biting himself a lot everytime he got mad, after my twins came home, my doctor said as long as he wasn't breaking the skin he wasn't actually hurting himself and to ignore it when he does it.(easier said than done) After about two weeks I couldn't take it anymore. He bit himself as usual with the yelling and tears so I looked at him and I bit myself. He was shocked. He stopped. He has done it once since and the twins are 7 months old. When he did it again I bit my arm just like he did. I don't know if that helps, maybe I was just lucky. My doctor said..that young they will not actually hurt themselves, not normally.
Tell your friend good luck.

it not a temper! She needs to see a Dr about that.

It seems unlikely that a child this young can be behaving like this simply because they want attention. There could be some developmental problem. Just to make sure, your friend should take her child for a check up with her pediatrician. The child may indeed need some loving attention, but first there needs to be a medical confirmation that there aren't any other issues to address.