Telling My Parents I'm Pregnant for the Fourth Time in Five Years.

B.~

First off, wow. I completely know how you feel. My kids are 13 mos apart. My daughter was literally 3 months old when I got pregnant with my son. I didn't know what to do either. I cried for 2 days and eventually called my mom. I was scared to death and my hands were shaking when dialing her number.

But you know what?? She wasn't that mad. She did the whole sigh thing and said "oh, M.....what were you thinking??" I cried and she said "you know what? you'll figure it out and we'll love that child as much as we love your first one" birth control pills aren't really an option for me either.

3 kids under the age of 5 is not going to be a simple task, but look at it this way: You were meant to have this kid and bring him/her into the world. You will magically find a way to support it, feed it, clothe it, etc. I don't know how that works, but it does.

You can do it. Be strong (as strong as you can b/c it's hard to be strong when you feel like you are disappointing everyone-including yourself b/c you are pregnant again), and call your mom. Cry. Explain how scared/frusterated/concerned/happy/nauseous/etc you are to her before she gets a chance to say anything. You may just be surprised by her response.

And after the baby.....get that husband of yours fixed!! :-)

message me on here if you just need an ear to listen to you.

Good luck to you!

M.

My husband and I have four(4) beautiful children. Their ages are 9,8,5, and 3. I am 28 and my parents were furious when I told them that I was pregnant each time. My boys are 15 months apart and girls are 20 months apart. The difference between the two groups is three years. My husband and I came to the conclusion that as long as WE were able to care for our children, no one had anything to say. Including our parents. Our parents always like to think that they can somehow control our lives even after we grow up and do our own things. They don't want to let go. I suggest that you tell her about your new baby. Also tell her how she makes you feel like you can't share your life with her without her giving her opinion. She may get angry but it could also help her understand you better. Look, I never thought I'd have four children, a husband, and work a full time job. But I do. It has become a passion. Both of my parents tell me how good of a job that I do. They just don't want us to weigh ourselves down. I say.... you go girl. Congratulations and good luck. Babies are gifts from God and I look at things like the bible says, God will not put more on you than you can bare.(even when it seems like he has;)

You know I can understand the anxiety you are facing about telling your mom that you are pregnant. The only thing I can tell you is, you are a grown woman and mother, most importantly this is your life. You cannot go around feeling upset over a situation you cannot control. So just tell her. She only has 2 options be in you and your family's life or not. :)

I'd say you are an adult and its your life and you make the choices and you can do whatever you want. Your mother had her time being your "boss" (ha!) and now its up to you to make your life what you want it to be. I don't really see how she could have anything say about anything you do, she needs to be supportive of your decisions and the things that you do, not yell at you for them. I guess you can go and visit her, tell her you are pregnant again, tell when you are due and that you are happy to welcome another child into your lives, ask her to be supportive of the fact that she is your mother and you are going to be the mother of three with a lot on her plate. Let her know that she can either be supportive and helpful, or she can choose not to be a part of this matter, however, ask her to please not add to your stress. Say nice things, or say nothing at all, basically. Good luck by the way! Even if your mother isn't happy about your pregnancy, I AM!! :o)))

hi. congrats. i m pregnant too right now 6 months pregnant with our 4th child in 4 years. i will give birth to this baby 2 months after our 4th wedding anniversary. and my situation is that we are living in this country alone my parents, sisters n brother lives faraway in an other country. n we have no helping hands with our kids. but still i m happy. sometimes really really tired coz i m all alone for the whole day with my three very young kids. the oldest one is almost 3 1/2 years old now. so u can imagine my situation. we are living in a rented home. may be will leave this home in next year n have to find another home.

but you know when kids loves me n are happy n healthy then everything is wonderful.

at least you have your mom near you. she will be happy with ur kids by the time n kids will attract her all by themselves. so just dont worry n be happy with your kids n coming baby.

I would tell her you and DH decided to have another baby. It's none of her business, and unless she's paying for your living expenses, she has no say in how many children you have. I would just tell her that you're not having that conversation with her, and that you and your DH are excited to meet the new baby. HTH.

I also had 4 boys in 5 years. They are now 21,19,18&17.
Though my parents (especially my mom) were not thrilled at this prospect at the time. I have to say it all worked out. My parents consequently had 8 of us in 17 yrs.
My mother gave me some grief about the 4th prgnancy. I heard her out, then let her know this was my husbands and my responsibility. Reminded her SHE did not have to raise them, WE did.
In the end, when the chips were down and I needed their help, my parents were always there. They loved my children equally and after the initial shock wore off everything worked out.

GOOD LUCK and CONGRATULATIONS!!
D.

B.,
Well first, Congratulations, you sound happy about having another child and that is what counts. Now, and here is where it gets tough, are you and your husband raising your children on your own and without any assistance?? If so, then I wouldn't worry about what your mother thinks, it's nice to be able to have her in your corner and I am sure that she will be eventually, but don't stress over that, it's not good for you or the baby. I will have to say though that if she or anyone else, meaning public assistance, is helping you raise the children and you and your husband can not make it on your own, that there are many options that you and your GYN can look into after you have this child. There are so many forms of birth control and when you are with the same partner, condoms are awesome. Just let him know, no more painting the cave, he may go exploring, but he needs to wear protective clothing :o) I hope that this helps and again, congratulations!!

I had 3 boys in 3 1/2 years. The 3rd pregnancy was a big surprise. I found out the day after my middle guys 1st birthday (which was also the day before my husband got on a plane to leave for Iraq for 16 months). When I told my parents (by myself-hubbie was already gone), they were shocked-their chins about hit the floor. You could see the questions of WHY?? in their eyes. Fortunately they were very supportive and helped out when I needed it (especially after the baby was born and was very colicy, not to mention my 19 month old and 3 year old to deal with it. Give them some credit and hang in there. Even though #3 was a surprise, I couldn't imagine my life without him.

I was in a similar situation....My husband and I actually planned to have our 4th child. I am very close to my parents. However, I knew that my parents wouldn't be thrilled. I, too,was dreading telling my parents. We announced it at my brother's birthday so other people found out at the same time. While the others were congratulating, they just were silent. I never did get a congratulations from them. However, as time progressed, they did get excited about a new grand child.

While your parents might have influence on you, remember that these are YOUR CHOICES. You are an adult. If you don't think that your parents will be thrilled, then surround yourself with people who will be thrilled that you are having another baby. Since I have 4 kids (7,5,3,1...yes very close together as well), I totally understand the excitement of having a larger family and I LOVE watching them interact with each other. While it can be tough at times, all the tiredness is worth it!

Good luck.... While I know how important it is to have your parents approval, you might now get it right away but over time I am willing to bet they will get excited. I know that it doesn't mean much coming from a stranger but CONGRATULATIONS!! I am excited for you. I hope you have a healthy pregnancy.