Tell Me I Can Do This!

Well, you know what they say "where there's a will, there's a way"! Looks like you're gonna HAVE to make it happen! Good luck!

Absolutely ask for help from some other mom you know. If my daughter were in your daughter's class, I would be MORE than happy to bring your daughter to school with mine and back for a few weeks. I'd also stop by to see if you need help/groceries, other errands, someone to chat with!

You CAN do it. Just gettin' close and your nerves are makin you worry!

Congratulations on your new addition!!

:)

Reach out at school -- you'll be surprised how quickly people react, people like to be useful. Send out an email saying you're looking for after school play dates and rides home for the 6 year old, explain you' re having a c-section and a new baby, and people may even rally to make you dinners. let people know you need them, then let them help!

ASK FOR HELP. Friends, family etc. I hope you get this figured out-don't stress!

M

You will need help for 2 weeks.
I am the toughest person alive, I have 3 under 5, my 3rd was a c-section, and right after surgery you CANNOT lift or drive. You can barely get yourself out of bed to the bathroom. No way. I had at least a few days if not a week where I couldn't do anything, and my husband had to hand me the baby to nurse. It was probably the only time in my life I had to just surrender to being helped and forced my husband to come home from a similar work scenario. I could NOT have done it.

If he cant' be there with you at all times for at least the first week, you need someone who can do these things for you absolutely. A friend, someone. There is plenty of time for you to stagger around sore with 3 and do everything-I did it for months, but for the first couple of weeks, you cannot do it.

If you have no one to help, you should consider natural delivery if it's medically possible. I was up doing stuff the next day for my first two, the recovery was SO much easier. Just food for thought. Hopefully you can get help, you WILL need it.

If you have neighbors or friends with an extra 30 minutes in their day, 30 minutes can go a loooong ways! There are people out there with kindness in their hearts that will help for no reason other than they want to help. I used to babysit 3 kids from Ghana, long story short, those children stayed with me for 5 days and nights while mom was in the hospital having her 4th baby... free of charge. She had no one else! Her husband was having green card issues and they had JUST moved here from Ghana... she had no friends, coworkers, church members, family, NO ONE. I don't remember how she ended up getting in touch with me, but I was happy to help. How could I not!? I'm not saying I'm a saint, but I am a firm believer in karma and I've struggled a LOT in my life... so I like to help people in hopes that one day, if things are ever really bad, someone out there will help me. I have faith in the kindness of others!! Don't feel bad asking for help if you need it... I don't know anyone who's ever judged a new mom who called crying, begging for help long enough for her to rest or shower :) You CAN do this... and you'll accept any and all help thrown your way :) Good luck and congrats!!

Take a deep breath and don't panic. Most moms have huge amounts of compassion for other moms - do not be afraid to ask for help here and there. For the first week you will need help. Hopefully someone like your mom or dad can take off from work when you come home? What about a mother's helper teen to come and play with your 2 and 6 yr old in the afternoons? My daughter is 14 and, if asked, she would gladly come and watch kids for a couple of hours a day after school for not a lot of money. She'd also carry a basket of laundry up the stairs, etc. Ask around the school yard of other moms who would be wiling to drive your daughter home each day, ask if any of them have older daughters who'd be willing to be a mother's helper.

The first week after a c-section is tough - but it gets better each day after that. As I recall I was carrying light laundry baskets by the second week. The first two weeks will go by quickly - they will be a memory before you know it. The most improtant thing to realize is that your house will be a disaster for a while - give yourself some slack - it is NOT important. I remember kicking a diaper (used, rolled up and taped shut) out of my path while trying to get the kids out the door one day - and realizing that I would NEVER have though my life would be like that!!! It was temporary - a season of our family's life that passed. (Thankfully!)(now we have other stuff to deal with...)

You can do this - you won't get to shower much, you won't get much sleep, your houses will be a wreck - but it will pass. Sleep whenever you can, buy DVD's for your 2 yr old to watch so you can lie down on the couch near him... WArn yoru husband that when he gets home form his new business the hosue will probably look like a tornado came through it. YOu are going through a stressful time in your young family's life - opening a business and a new baby all at the same time. You and your husband need to give grace to eachother - and let stuff slide. Remember to give eachother and the kids plenty of hugs. You go mama - a couple of months from now it will be a dim memory!

Find a mom in your daughters class to help get your daughter home from school. Perhaps your daughter can simply stay at the friends house till your husband gets home or drop her off to you. Also see if the school as an after care program onsite. Our's has the YMCA and Alpha best and it's at the school from 3 -6:30. ours offers 3-5 day a week. Check with yours or a local church with a sick / shut in group to help. I've had two c-sections, and I was able to walk, but not drive for 2 weeks. PLUS new baby AND a 2 y/o?? you will need the rest and help. So seek it from other sources besides your husband and parents. You CAN do this with help!

I would try to find someone who can bring the 6 year old home after school. I'm sure if you let your friends and neighbor's who live nearby know, someone will be able to help you out. I would be happy to help, if one of my friends was in your situation.

The one problem I had after the C-section was that I wasn't allowed to do any heavy lifting (the doctor said "don't lift anything, except your baby"). So you may have to find a solution for laundry and shopping.

Talk to your friends and let them know that you may need help. I'm sure they would be willing to help you.

But yes, it's doable as long as you realize that your house won't be sparkling clean for the next little while.

I'm not at all suggesting you drive, if you're uncomfortable w/ it. I' ve had 3 sections & no one ever told me I couldn't drive. I believe , I was warned not to drive if taking too many pain killers. However, I needed very little pain management, if any. I was able to drive w/ no problems ( drove to get breast pump, day I got home from hospital). Depending on your car though ,it may be hard to lift baby in the car. So maybe at very least, have someone stay w/ younger two while you run to school. Like others have suggested a teenager. This would also give u some alone time w/ 7 yr old. Again, I'm not suggesting you drive if not comfortable. I'm just giving you my experience.

Of course you can do it! YOU ARE A MOM! We are SUPERHUMAN sometimes, especially when we don't have a choice!!! I think Kate B. is dead on right and you just need to reach out. It is OKAY to ask for help. You are currently overwhelmed. Take a step back and you will come up with several solutions.
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!

It will be hard and will be crazy, but if there is a will then there is a way. YOU can do it mama!

Are there any friends that could bring your daughter home after school? Or can she maybe ride the bus for a few weeks?

Either way in the long run everything will work out and you will be super Mommy!

YOUR STRONG :-) It might not always be easy - BUT it will all work out !!!
I think your 6 year old will be a fantastic "helper" for you !!! Keep positive thoughts mama!!!!

Either you need someone to help you for a few days or he needs to have someone stay in the shop for him while he can't be there. Tough situation to be in and bad timing but it's possible to do. I would think you'd have a friend or neighbor who could help you. You shouldn't drive right away and even if you have the energy and can move well enough to get in and out of the car that first week, you shouldn't be lifting the 2 yr old into the carseat or carrying the baby in it's seat by your self. You need to heal first. At least a week so you don't strain stitches and hurt yourself internally. Call a friend, or neighbor, ask M. or dad to take a couple days off. They have demanding jobs, but what if they were sick? They'd have to take a day off so maybe they can leave work long enough to be some help to you when you need them most. If it is all so impossible and you are truely left home alone with 3 kids, then keep your 6 yr old home from school and have her help you a bit.

You can do this but you will need help. Reach out to people and get all the help you will need. When I had my c-section the first week I wasn't much good to anyone. Driving was definitely out of the question because how could I drive when I was having such a hard time walking and on heavy meds for at least the first 3-4 days at home for the pain.

It does take a village to raise a family. So call on the powers of your village. You will need someone to bring your little girl home and help with all heavy lifting. I was stitched and stapled back together (remember they will be cutting through not just 7 layers of skin but also through your muscles too. You will need time to heal and certain things you will need to do to heal properly. Not driving is only one of them.

Your parents should only be one resource available to you for help. Friends, neighbors, classmate's parents, and a host of others will be on the ready to help you but you will need to let them know that you need help. You do need the help. Get it and this is definitely doable.

If he works 7.5 hrs a day M-T, Th-F he'll put in 30 hrs a week.
If he's owning the business, he'll tend to put in a LOT more than that.
You don't go into business for yourself looking for lots of time off.
You only get that once you're big enough and you have someone you can trust who can take it over and you become a silent partner.
You'll only have about a month of school left when the baby comes.
See if there are other parents at the school (or at church) who can help you out with dropping off/picking up your 6 yr old at school, at least for a few weeks if not for the rest of the school year.
You'll get through this and summer is right around the corner.

We are all Super Mom when we HAVE to be. I am certain you are no different. You CAN do this and it sounds like you will HAVE to. Even if your husband has to be gone 25-30 hrs a week, could be worst. Most of us have to work 40-50 hours a week. Try and look at it like that....at least he will be able to help you out.

Is there a daycare (that buses to and from the school) in the area or an after school program your daughter can go to for 2 weeks? Maybe if she can stay and extra hour, your husband could pick her up?

Matting on how responsible your 6 year old is, she can be a big help, but you will need to pull her from school. Can you see about another mother driving her to and from school for 2 weeks? Perhaps you can hire a highschooler to help around the house after school at a reduced rate.

You can do this! It will be hard no doubt but if you think you can, you can. Just stay positive and think happy thoughts. I would ask some of the other moms you know to help you, or some close friends to at least stop by a few times a week to help out.

I would also write down all the major stuff that you have to do during the day and put down a time line for it all.
Like put things that need to be done for Monday. Like, laundry, dusting etc. and break up all your chores to a few things a day all week so it doesnt seem like your doing so much. I would also make a few freezer dinners too and stock up, like get a lasagna and put it in the freezer so when you dont feel like cooking, you can just throw that in the oven to bake.

Just plan a way to make this as easy as possible on yourself. Too much work load on an already tired mother is bad news. Take it easy and dont do too much (as hard as that is) Just remember to take time to take care of yourself too :)

Good luck! You CAN do this. All about time management!

I would ask another parent if they can drop off your daughter. You don't want to rip open your stitches carrying that carrier around. Be safe and careful. If you have a face book post something on there about looking for some help and maybe a friend/relative/neighbor will offer.