Hi S.,
I HIGHLY recommend reading "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. It gives you great info on biological sleep rhythms and what is needed for each age group. He does talk a bit about the "cry it out" method being the easiest and quickest way to correct bad sleep habits but it isn't the only method he suggests. Don't let it turn you off if you are against it as there is ALOT of great info. My daughter's schedule at this age was this: wake up at 6:30-7am, morning nap around 9am, afternoon nap around 1pm and bedtime at 6-6:30pm. Naps should be at least 1 hour to be restorative. I think your son is going too long in between naps. If you can get the daycare to put him down by 12:30-1pm and then you get him to bed nice and early you should see a decrease in night waking within a week or two. Some babies still need to eat once at night until around 9 months, but it really sounds like your little guy is overtired and unable to fall back to sleep on his own. As to teething, the pain is not that bad and a little Tylenol before bed should take care of it until his first teeth break through and again with his first molars. Make sure you start brushing those cute little teeth too. If you want to email me and would be happy to share my experiences with you about Dr. Weissbluth's methods. I have been using them since my daughter was born and she is a great sleeper. It it is hard to get the early bedtime on days he is at daycare, try having them feed him his dinner before you pick him up. It is hard to spend alot of time with them when they go to bed so early but remember that it isn't forever and the positive effects are SO worth it. I too understand what effects sleep deprivation has on a marriage.
Sincerely,
L.