Teeth Brushing Nightmare

We have the Firefly toothbrushes that light up for 1 minute to let the child know how long to brush. It is fun and the kids like the flashing light. You will still need to brush her teeth after she does it but maybe the neat light will keep her distracted so you can do it.

I would do as much as she allows you to do. I would also give her one and allow her to brush her own teeth after she lets you finish. I would take it away when you are done. So have her allow you to brush her teeth for a small amount of time then let her do her own then slowly up the time and see if that helps. Giood luck!

I don't know what works for most. But for me if I sing to her while we brush it distracts her just long enough to get the job done.

K. - I have had two very strong willed boys and two is very independent, as we both know. I am also a dental hygienist. Please hear me . You don't need to use a tooth brush to clean her teeth. Let her hold it, play with it whatever. During her bath, take a washcloth and as you are wiping her off, sneak it around her teeth. A washcloth will be far more affective than a brush at this age, and you can choose your battles. Trush me. It works, and it's one less problem you will have. But please! No sodas! Deadlyespecially for primary teeth. - J. F.

K.:

I am a wife of a dentist, and a mother of a toddler. I live and breathe both of those professions. My daughter was awful, so bad we would lay her on the ground and hold her arms as we straddle her with our legs. She would cry and that would let us brush her teeth good. We did this for a good 4 months 2 times a day. It didnt phase my husband who did almost all the brushing. During that time we would always have her watch us as we brushed our teeth. Let her pick out a fun toothbrush and toothpaste. If she can spit give her floride toothpaste, if she is not spitting get her the floride free "training toothpaste". We buy both, and my daughter uses her toddler toothpaste to brush as I brush and when I am done I then do hers. I also got her a vanity mirror that magnifies for her too play with and watch herself brush her teeth.

Tomorrow my husband and I are doing dental health day in my daughters preschool and we have a treasure bag of fun things for the kids to take home. A couple toys, a sand timer to time the brushing and some toothbrushes and parening guides. If you want me to send you a bag too assist you let me know and I will get it out to you right away. Please no matter what brush her teeth.

Poor Oral Health is almost 100% preventable, outside of accidents and broken teeth, and congenital birth defects and chemothearpy reactions and most often heart disease, there is never a reason to have a cavity or gum disease. There is no such thing as "soft" teeth or many other things a dentist will tell a patient to make them feel less responsible for their teeth and gums. Brush and floss and listerine. All of those things can be purchased for about 10 dollars a month. and its not how often you brush, its how often you coat your teeth with sugar. You can brush 7 times a day, but if you sip on a soda all afternoon you will get a cavity. Drink your soda, then atleast chew some sugarfree gum or rinse with water. You can eat candy, just rinse it off your teeth when you are finished eating it.

I don't know if you're looking for more options; but this worked for me...

I took a hard boiled egg and then poured a dark soda on it and let it sit there for a little while. You can see the egg turn a light brown color. I explained that this is what happens to teeth when they don't get brushed. Then I took a toothbrush & toothpaste and let my DD brush the egg clean and explained that it's the same way to get her teeth clean...very simple.

It did take a few days to get my daughter to stop brushing an egg first; but she got over her fear of brushing her teeth. I also let her brush her teeth first then I would do a the final brush.

I hope this works for you too! Keep us posted

I read thru some (not all) of the requests. My strategy was a little different. I grew up loving to brush my teeth and didn't have a single cavity until I got to college. Even now, I have only had 2 in my life and I plan to keep it that way (and they were both from times when I stopped brushing my teeth as thoroughly for various reasons). Anyways, my first question every night was "do you want to brush or do you want me to brush?" Sometimes she would happily choose one or the other. On nights when it became nighmarish at our house ("no brush", crying, thrashing, turning away from the brush, etc), I would say "that is not an option so I will brush. Do you want it done the easy way or the hard way?" Many nights my strong willed daughter would smart off "the hard way." OK. I would sit on the toilet and hold her in my lap and kind of pin her down on my lap with my torso. I used one hand to keep her mouth open while I brushed. It was no fun but I wasn't stressed about it, I knew it wouldn't last long (that night or in terms of days/weeks/months). After 30 seconds she would say "the easy way!" and sit up and let me brush her teeth. After 2-3 nights she usually just let me brush them, or choose to try it herself and then let me "check" (go back and brush them one more time) and I didn't have to ask the question. A few weeks later we might fall back into her needing to be asked again. Now, at 3 1/2, she brushes her own teeth with supervision. And, I did have to ask the question the other night but after saying one thing, she changed her mind (Good, because she is bigger than she was last year!). Oh, I do think at one point I had to have her daddy come in and hold her head.

Let me point out she was very uncomforable during this, but not in pain. Sometimes allowing our kids to be in temporary discomfort (the consequence) teaches them what they can and can't do. But for us, not brushing was not an option. I love her too much for that! I am responsible for her teeth and making sure they stay in good shape, as well as setting up good habits for later. And the dentist told us we were doing a great job with them! Just be firm and loving! She will get over it. She is just struggling to figure out what she can control in her life. If you let her choose her brush or you, toothpaste flavors, and/or which color, she may feel like she has some control and will not notice the actual brushing.
Good luck!

Hi K.,

Here is some web sites:

http://www.blurtit.com/q290195.html

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=2008021420400...

Hope this helps. D.

My one son hated when I would brush his teeth. It was a constant struggle that led to many difficult and loud evenings My kids' dentist told me to pretend you're the dentist at home. He said to lay them on the floor and sit behind them and put your legs over their arms. I then pretend to be the dentist looking and counting and brushing his teeth. He loved it. AFter about 2 months he would beg me to brush his teeth that way on days when we didn't need it. By laying him on the floor that way it also gave me the perfect opportunity that when he fought me I could put my legs up around his arms and hold him down better. He learned very quickly that "going to the dentist" was fun and teeth brushing is no longer a struggle in my house. Good luck!

I know your pain as my 2 year old is almost 3 and brushing has been a challenge. However, we increased our evening water intake and I find tipping him upside down makes him laugh and open and we can brush on some days. Others, he is getting better at letting me "help" which seems to be a key word at our house. His dentist says he is fine and that is common for the age. He still has perfect dental health and his dentist says that behavior is normal. Just hang in there, do what you can and quit worrying. Personally I had cavities by his age so I have been extremely paranoid so I understand your worries. T. in Delaware SAHM of 2, married almost 10 yrs
www.homemadegourmet.com/tuesday815101
www.caringbridge.org/visit/johnshannoniv

What great ideas. My suggestion is a little different. Go to wikipedia to check this out, but xylitol is a natural sugar from (i think) tree bark. A controlled scientific study was done using xylitol gum, and the children who chewed this gum a couple times a day had 50% fewer cavities. Xylitol strengthens the teeth, and coats the throat so that bacteria can't grow. The studies took place during the school year, but even after the summer of not using the gum the childrens results did not change. Wish my mom had known about this, wouldn't have a mouth full of fillings. :) I'm not saying don't brush, but realize that there are things that weaken the teeth, like acidic things.. lemonade being one, and there are things that can make the teeth stronger.
Blessings
another D.

Gosh, I totally agree with J. R. Initially i noticed that the "training toothpast" you know the one with little bear on it, was NOT working. My two-year-old's teeth starting getting stained. So I started using the Tom's Natural toothpaste for myself, flouride free, so i made my son use it, it took the stains out! But, he absolutely hated it, practically gagging while i brushed his teeth. THEN, we were introduced to the "silly strawberry" by Tom's. IT WAS AWESOME! That along with his swival WALL-E toothbrush worked!! I totally recommend it!

You have a lot of great tips here. I always let my toddlers choose their own toothbrush at the store. Make a big deal about how adorable they are, etc. They will definitely have an opinion here. More helpful though is we use Tom's Natural toothpaste, strawberry blast flavor. It's wonderful :) It does not irritate their mouths like all the other artificial sweetened toothpastes. BTW, my younger kids still prefer this toothpaste, ages 10 & 7. Around junior high my older daughter became interested in whitening types. Only my son has 1 cavity, his fault, from sneaking ring pops one summer and sucking on the same tooth.

i just had this article emailed to me from babycenter. I haven't read it yet, but it might be worth checking out. Good luck!

http://www.babycenter.com/404_how-can-i-get-my-toddler-to...

And remember........apples are natures toothbrush.

It helps if you can make it fun. both my kids went through this were I had to step it up a bit and put some creative effort into it to get them to brush.
So a couple of suggestions. Books about brushing. Dora goes to the Dentist or something like that is one my daughter really likes.
Fun tooth brushes, help.
you could put a short song on the cd player for her to listen too while you are brushing. Raffi has one, "If you wake up in the morning it's a quarter to one and you want to have a little fun - you brush your teeth" Sorry i don't remember the title.

I often played the game that Denise suggested only i would "find" animals hidden in their mouths. Is that a rhino behind your back teeth?? kind of thing that would crack them right up.
Also we would play Dentist. I would be the Mommy Dentist and i would call their names and ask them to step into my office and have a seat on my chair, which was my lap with them laying down so i could easily brush their back teeth. If you wanted you could give them a small hand mirror so they could watch.
those are my ideas, I might also see if she is getting any molars in. It might not just be stubborness but teething pain. That doesn't change anything but just give you a little perspective.
good luck, Two year olds are tricky, but brushing is really important.

K.,

Don't fret over it. My 1st son was great about letting me brush his teeth after he did it. My 2nd son is a do it yourselfer to this day (he's 6 yrs old now). You couldn't do anything for him from the time he could start sitting up, etc. I would just tell him that he needed to do a better job then if he didn't want me to do it. I would tell him he had to watch is brother & me when we brushed.

I also let the dentist know when he had his 1st apt at a little after 3 yrs of age. His brother has never had any cavities and his 1st or 2nd visit he had a cavity. He has never had a cavity since.

Just make sure that your daughter drinks a lot of water because that really cleans the mouth out of whatever they have. Now my kids never had much in the way of candy, etc. so I guess that helped too. If he had something sweet, i would tell him afterwards that he needed to take a drink f water and swish it in his mouth really good.

Hope this helps & good luck!!

B.

We have the same problem!

Usually, my son brushes my teeth and then his own, then it is my turn to brush my teeth and then his (with our own toothbrushes!)

I think that you don't need to do a super-terrific job at first, just get your child used to doing it and it will get better each time that you guys do it. Did that make sense?
What I mean to say is that you should get him into the habit, work on that first, and then get into making sure that the teeth are all cleaned once he is used to doing it.

Good luck, I hate the "power struggle" of the night time routine!

-C.

My 23 month old daughter doesn't like it anymore either. But, I found that if I give her my toothbrush and open my mouth wide to let her brush my teeth, she will do the same and open wide for me. We do it at the same time. Good luck!

Hi K.,

My son is 20 months and I am getting there..the terrible 2 phase.He is on and off..hates to brush sometimes and kicks and screames around and sometimes he's ok. When he's hates to brush, i try to not give attention to his crying and won't ask him to stop doing anything he is doing.Then I simply ask him to chose among his 3 different brushes Elmo,cars and spider man!!That's when his concentration shifts a bit and I pretend to talk to the brushes saying " hey today who's going to have fun with my son's white teeth and pink tounge" :-).SO by now he would have calmed down a bit and then I allow him to play with water (its ok if it spills here and there).
I also keep telling him about how his other friends brush their teeth everyday to keep them white and bright.He seems to listen to that. The last approach I try to do is monster in the room and time out in that room.Even with that word or sentence he seems to be brsheing his teeth and I have had no time where I had to physically time him out in any room.That works always for me!!
Every mom have their own tricks....this is what I do and I am not an expert in any of my approach and I hope no one would judge me with my approachs.
You can try these with your daughter and I hope there is some positive changes!!
Good Luck!!

I was one who always insisted on the kids brushing their teeth twice a day and going to the denist every 6 months and spending the $5,000 on braces for the older one and even as a teen threatening to brushing his teeth myself. Know what, now they are adults and have rotten teeth because as soon as they were on their own they decided they don't have to brush their teeth anymore. I always wonder if it is because it was such a power play when they were young. Make it a game, the egg idea is a great one but holding them down to brush could back fire on you when they are old enough to decide on their own if they are going to brush or not.

You may try telling her no sugar, pop, candy and all those favorite treats because if the sugar doesn't get brushed off her teeth they will break. Kids know "break" more then "cavities" I know my daughter in law tells my granddaughter that little people called germs live in there and they have to brush them out.

Hi K.,

This will probably pass soon :) When my daughter was just 2, she HATED having her teeth brushed. She complained about the toothpaste, toothbrush, everything. I, too, had to practically hold her down and brush them. Now, she is almost 3 and she LOVES to brush her teeth. She picked out her toothbrush and Princess toothpaste. She likes to look in the mirror. She asks to brush her teeth after she eats. She doesn't seem to like the feel of any food in her teeth now. She really does do an excellent job. I bet your daughter will love brushing her teeth too!

We have all been there! Hang in there, it does get easier as they get older! Just bought musical toothbrushes at Target. That may do the trick....

I am having the same problem with my almost 2 year old little girl. She hates to have her teeth brushed. I have tried everything... singing, dancing, stickers, etc. We have resorted to also holding her down to get a few good swipes in.

A few weeks ago we were at a friends house and it was time for us to leave and the kids to go to bed. I happened to have my daughter's toothbrush with us. I asked my friend if she would mind brushing her 4 year old little girl's teeth. My daughter watched as her friend's teeth were brushed... opened up and let me brush hers with no problem. Of course, everyone thought that I was exaggerating how bad teeth brushing time typically is because my daughter was brusing like an angel there. It has actually helped tremendously... every time we need to brush I tell her to open up and let mommy brush her teeth like Riley's mom does. She opens up and I can get a decent brushing in.

Hi K.,
I know how you feel. Our daughter never liked her teeth brushed from the beginning, and it reached the peak when she was turning 2. We tried everything -- reading books about brushing, making it a game, making it fun, letting her hold her own toothbrush, modeling through our own brushing and her little cousins' brushing - you name it, we've done it. Nothing worked. We ended up having to hold her down and straddle her every time so we could get some brushing in. After about 3 months, she started to cooperate and now at 2.5 yrs old she is completely okay with brushing. So just keep on trying to get her teeth brushed. I know it's hard to hear her scream and cry, it broke my heart every time, but it's better than having to deal with cavities later. Hopefully soon enough she'll get over her fear and dislike, and actually enjoy the routine. Good luck!

Hi K.

This idea sounds kind of gross but it worked with my son because he likes all things gross. It may also work for your little girl if she is a clean freak.

I told him that the germs (bugs) that stays on his teeth needs to go to the bathroom and if he doesn't brush them out they will pee in his mouth. Since we are also working on potty training the pee from you body goes in the potty and the germs on your teeth go into the sink so that they do not have any accidents in your mouth.

This way all the pee goes down the drain. We even say BYE BYE pee pee whenever we flush the toilet or wash the toothpaste down the drain.

Hi K. - I've recently become a great-grandma - and know exactly what you're going thru - however my family and I are affiliated with beautiful wellness products from a company called Melaleuca located in Idaho Falls, Idaho - since using them the tots and ourselves have experienced a much brighter experience with many daily uses - I may be contacted - Ladydiamond ____@____.com - also guests may sign in - www.Melaleuca.com and view - many of our products are Kosher - what we like for the tots is Koala Pals tooth gel,toothbrushes and flossers - also for germ fighting we like Sol-U-Guard Botanical - Thank you and enjoy - C. R. Joseph, Washington,DC

I have a similar fight with my son. What sometimes works for me is we take turns "brushing" each other's teeth. I'll hold the brush (or hold his hand holding the brush) and brush 1 area of his teeth. He then holds the brush, with me guiding him and he brushes my teeth. He really doesn't as the thought grosses me out so I make a funny noise & he thinks he's brushing my teeth. I make the same noise when I'm brushing his teeth.
Now, sometimes the game doesn't work and I just bite the bullet & brush he teeth with him screaming/crying & arms flying (I figure it also gets a little more energy out of him so he'll go to sleep faster). Good luck.

Dear K.,
Ok, I have another method to try for you. Make it a game and pretend the mouth is the washing maschine or the dryer. Turn it on by touching the ears, put powder in over the hair, select the program by tipping the nose and then start to brush and say something like "oh, here is daddys shirt, and over there is Mom's socks and Daddys pants need a real good brushing" and so on. You get the idea. My little one loved it from that moment on.
Good luck.

So, you already have alot of great responses, but this is what worked for my little girl who is almost 2. She loves counting, so we started counting when we brush her teeth. I will tell her we are going to count to 30 (I count slowly). I stop counting if she closes her mouth or puts her tounge over her teeth and continue when I can brush her teeth again. Sometimes I play dumb and "forget" what number I'm on. She loves to remind me. To switch things up on days where she is a little fussy, I'll say, "Should we count in English, Spanish, or German". She gets so excited she may say the name of the language or just start counting on her own with uno, dos, etc. Hope it helps. Also, like everyone else we have had Pooh, Snoopy and Princess toothbrushed all in our favorite colors of the week. Good luck, and remember this too will pass.

Is she getting her molars? I know my son cries when we brush any area that a tooth is about to erupt from. We very gently brush that area.

And I also use the "looking for leftovers" strategy mentioned by another mom. I will name food that he has eaten and food that he has not to make it a game.

Both my boys like their "firefly" toothbrushes -- they are 18 months and 3. They light up for as long as you are supposed to brush. To get them into it, I turned off the lights and we brushed their teeth in the dark. You could tell her she brushes until it goes off, then you. We bought them for a buck at Aldi.

Have you tried brushing your own teeth while she does hers? Doing that gives her an idea how long she must brush and hopefully she will mimic your habits. That was the only way my daughter would brush her top teeth.

Recently I needed to buy more toothpaste and only could find the crest brand. My girl went crazy over it. It is blue, sparkly, and mint flavored. She felt as though she was using 'big girl' toothpaste and preferred the taste. Both of our daughters brush more willingly now. It is worth a try. Good luck.

A holding and hugging method: stand behind your child and with one hand hold her head against your chest or the side of your head (your cheek against her ear), hum softly or sing a fun little song while you brush with the other hand. In this position, you move with her head turns instead of against them, or just hold the toothbrush stationary and she can move her head to brush her teeth. Her hands will hold yours but they will be moving as your hands are, therefore she will actually assist in brushing. You can try this with her sitting in your lap with her legs between yours if needed. She can also brush your teeth or her dolls' teeth in this "holding and hugging" way (with your hand on hers or hers on yours to help guide the brushing).
Another approach: brushing together in front of the mirror is fun while making funny faces and funny sounds/songs.
Happy brushing!

Sounds to me like a control thing. I would give it up for a while. Ask her at the right moments if she wants to brush her teeth. Like "Honey, I am going to do my teeth now. Do you want to do yours too?" And if she says no then go with it. What is the worst that can happen from her not brushing for a while. If you are like most mothers around here you are not loading your 2 year old with Candy and sugar so I think cavities are way off for the child. They have such a small amount of control over things in their life that to ease up on this one thing to show her you respect her boundaries may make life a little easier.

good luck!

I have raised 4 daughters and each was different Maybe you could try brushing your teeth together to see her watch you to might give her a little incentive and let her pick out her favorite story to read with you at bedtime as a reward. Good Luck
L. M.

I know you have a ton of answers, but here is one more, just in case.
Everyone has said how they talk about things they "find" in the child's mouth, but this was a tad different and may just work, who knows?
We talk about WHO we see in the mouth. I pretend that each tooth is someone we know. "Is Aidan (cousin) in your mouth tonight? OH MY GOSH, he is! Oh, wow, he is dirty, let me scrub him!" and move on with friends and family while I brush them for her. She loves this.
Good luck!

Unfortunately, there is no "non-brushing" option. Keep it up. She will get over it. In the meantime, try helping her like you have been and sing while you are doing it. I sing twinkle twinkle, baa baa black sheep, anything. It keeps him occupied and if you sing it slowly and enough times, you will get a good long brushing in. Remember, you should brush for 2 minutes.

Does your daughter like to brush herself, just not when you do it? If she likes it, but just doesn't want you to do it, try switching the order. I tell my son that he can only brush his teeth if he lets me do it first. Then he lets me, and his attempt at brushing is his reward for letting me do it first. It may sound silly that brushing his own teeth is a reward, but I think it works because he is very independent and wants to do everything himself.

I also let him pick out his own toothbrush and toothpaste at the store(Elmo and Thomas), which he is very excited about using - but again, he can only have them AFTER he lets me brush.

Same story with us! We were brushing in the high chair after meals.
Change the location. We changed to the bathroom sink and let her stand on a stool. She can see in the mirror and look at herself brushing, then mommy gets a turn.
Worked out much better and we are getting something done now!
T. S

Does she like any cartoon characters, like Dora or Looney tunes? If she does, she may enjoy a toddler toothbrush with her favorite character on it. My kids love their toothbrushes, because they get to choose a new character (or the same one) every 3 months. My almost 3 yr old's current favorite is Blue's Clues. They also like the character toothpaste, which usually comes in fruit or bubble gum flavors.

K.,
O. thing I used to do that cracked up my son was to say--"Oooooooo, there's a green bean over there and some turkey up there"...while I was brushing away. Let her brush first then do that. I would sit her on the counter by the bathroom sink--not the high chair--she probably feels too restrained! Good luck!

We have sort of the same problem, but our son is only 14 months old. He loved the blue gum massaging brushes, but absolutely hates the regular toothbrush. That website link posted here had several good ideas. I'm going to try the electric toothbrush and hopefully that will work, or maybe brushing their teeth while they're in the tub. Good luck with yours.

When I went through this stage with my oldest child (almost 9 now - where does the time go?!), I used a suggestion I read somewhere....I told him I saw an alligator (use animal/creature of your choice) on his teeth and it needed to come out. For each section of his teeth, I'd "find" a different creature. It became quite a fun game of "finding" the different animals and getting them out - so much, in fact, that it became hard to stop because he was being so darn cute about it! OF course, this means that you still have to do the brushing, but it beats having to take her for fillings....