Teenagers - Sioux City,IA

Hi A.!

Boy! Do I know teen girls! LOL!! The opposite sex thing is normal. Unfortunately, it's gonna stare you in the face from now til forever. (A bit of humor there.) Keeping the line of communication open is extremely important during this time. I've been through unimaginable things with teen girls. At times, it didn't seem to matter what I said or did, it just wasn't getting through to them. But just keep at it. They do listen and digest the words and actions that come from you, even if it doesn't seem like it at the time. Actions, at this stage in their lives, speak louder than words. I've found "girlie" nights to be most helpful. Pick an activity (ie: movie, shopping, or kickin' the man out of the house and doing nails & make-up), set a time and date, grab some munchies and let your hair down. Share some your adventures as a teen with your girls. Let them know you've been there and you still remember what it's like. Listen to them. Don't make a big deal out of it, just relax with them and have some fun. Giggle. Tell jokes. Tell secrets. I've found that after a "girlie" night, somehow, it brings you together. Every small step leads to the big picture...trust in each other and respect. Yelling and screaming won't do it. Listen from your heart and guide with wisdom. I did "girlie" nights at least twice a month. The difference in the girls came a little more slowly than I had hoped for, but it did come. And when they realized that I not only loved them, but trusted and respected them too...well, let's just say that it made all the difference in the world. Read my profile and feel free to write me with anything. I'm here for you.

I would get the kids help in dealing with the suicide of their father. Even if it was just the stepdad. My husbands mom committed suicide and he hasn't gotten over it yet. His first reaction was too act out. He started drinking and doing drugs, just because he didn't know how to react. He's been sober for over ten years, now. thank goodness. The older kids may be acting out because of that. As for good kids turning wild, I'm worried about that too. Right now my oldest is very good. He never fights(except with his brother) and he isn't destructive. He's almost 11 and I'm dreading the teen years. I was told to enjoy it and not think that it will be all bad. Good Luck!!

Hi A.!

I feel for ya, as I've been there and done that! My oldest 2 daughters are now 22 and 25, and my youngest daughter is 8. Jenna and Sam acted out because their Dad and I got divorced, and we pretty much lost our beautiful home, and they lost "their life" and had to start all over. I've had my car stolen, underage dui's, stealing, money stolen, my oldest would give me black eyes, bloody my lip, and even pulled a knife on me once. It sounds to me that your girls are acting out. They may not want to cooperate, but the best thing that you could do for them is to get them into counseling, either one-on-one, family counseling, or both. These are tough years, but I promise that it will get better. My girls and I are extremely close now, and they talk to me about how bad they feel about the things they did back then. Just talk to them til you're blue in the face, and try to get them to open up. Teenage years are so screwed up with hormones changing, peer pressure, etc., so sometimes it takes a lot more listening to actually hear what these young adults are saying. Tell them that they can tell you anything, and that you will not yell at them, or judge them. Please let me know if I can do anything for you.

We have a 15 year old girl who has been pretty rebellious until I had her watch a DVD called "The Secret". It's changing her whole attitude. You can find it at www.thesecret.tv Our 19 year old son, has a new attitude and is really positive about his future after watching it, and my brother no longer talks about suicide, but about the positive things he is going to do in his life. It's amazing what this movie has done for our kids. Check it out.