Hi, I know what you are going through. My 17 year had this last year now he is doing great. My 16 yr old was doing this in the beginning of this year. First my husband and I came out and asked him if he was in a gang at school ( Scary !!!)he said no. We have a "safe" meeting, where I get a wooden spoon and the person who has it gets to talk only, we have rules that there is no yelling and all of us listen to each other. We may not agree with the things they say but we do have the last word. We knew that he wanted his license so we told him that if he gets good grades and respectful to his elders ( like how we raised him ) he can get his license, but if he goes back being disrespectful then I will take his lincense and shred it. If he can't be respectful to me then how can he be respectful to our family car?! He also has a job now and that helps a lot. As for his homework I email his teachers every so often and then if they email me with missing homework, I show my son and ask him about it. Then he is grounded from phone, friends, now a girlfriend, and all other things until his homework is up to date and he is showing us that he is being serious about school. He is now getting A's and B's. He is a good kid ( I am sure so it your son), and like you said this is normal, just a phase that teenagers go through, I was told that if you ( as parents ) gets through the teenage years then it should get better. We have a good relationship with our sons now, it was hard at first, but we got through it with a lot of talking ( not yelling ), tuff love ( emailing his teachers and grounding ) and making him know that there are conisquenses for every wrong doing for everyone not just him. We have an open conversation not with the "Safe" zone. I hope this helps you, I know it is hard but just keep letting your son know that you love him, but not his actions.