Teenage Sleepover at Vacation Home

I am also Catholic and cannot even imagine having a conversation with a 16 year old that ends with her having sanctioned sex with her boyfriend, or sleeping in the same bed on vacation. If it were my family, and he were allowed to go, he'd be sleeping alone in a tent or in a sleeping bag on the floor.

WOW! No chance in he$$ that would happen at my house, vacation home or where ever the topic was brought up.

I'm very open minded and lenient but that is overboard for me. Be ready for grand babies.

I have an almost 16 year old son and there is no way I would sanction he and girlfriend sharing a bed under my roof.

When I was that age my parents took us girls along with two guy friends on a trip to Florida. We stayed in a huge condo and the boys slept in the living room while the girls shared a bedroom. Um, even my liberal father put his foot down on co-ed sleeping arrangements in front of him.

So, I vote with you. Set the boy up elsewhere.

Have him sleep separately alone in a tent you set up outside the camper.

Tell your daughter on this trip she will be sleeping w/you in the camper.

If she says they are already having sex, you say "not on this trip". (they may try & sneak away to do it but......)

You say they are actively sexual and practicing safe sex. Hopefully she is on the birth control. I realize you are Catholic (I am too) but I would hate to see a surprise pregnancy. Better to err on the side of safety & ensure she is on the pill??

I say absolutely NO to the sleeping together idea.
I went through this with my stepson.
He wanted to bring his girlfriend to stay at our house and she was a great girl and I liked her, but I put my foot down about them sleeping together at our house.
My husband got mad and said he'd get them a hotel room then and I put my foot down about that too. Was he bringing her to visit or just to screw her? I know that sounds vulgar, but I didn't want any part of that. She was only 16 years old.
So....they came and stayed. She slept in my daughter's room, stepson slept in our office on the daybed and we had the younger ones share a room.

Keep in mind I had a daughter who was 11 and a son who was 1 and there was no way that precedent of sleeping together in my house was going to be set.

My husband and I had a huge fight over it, but you know what? The kids happily complied with the sleeping arrangements and we all had a nice visit after all.

Just because you have a small camper, it doesn't mean the kids have to share the same bed. Not at all. Your husband might not like it, but there is an alternative and I would certainly insist on it.

That's just my opinion.
I'd like to point out that what turned my husband around was the fact that he was thinking about his son sleeping with his girlfriend. I asked him if he would allow our daughter, at 16, to bring home a boy and sleep in the same bed and he said HELL NO! So...again, we needed to head that argument off at the pass well before the fact by not allowing any of that in our home. He agreed.
I'm a bit surprised your husband would want his daughter sleeping with her boyfriend in front of you on a family camping trip.

From my experience, if you say no, the kids will be fine with it.

Best wishes.

The solution is:
Don't invite the boyfriend.
It is a family holiday.
They are not joined at the hip.
And don't have to be.
Right?

Step-Daughter is 16.
Has been sexually active since 15 years old? Since they have been together for 1 year?
Geez.

So again, the solution to this is just don't invite the Boyfriend. It is a family holiday. AND besides, the camper is simply not big enough.
They are not Honeymooners for crying out loud.
The camper will be crowded as it is if Boyfriend comes along. And why on earth does everyone have to accommodate him? And her, in their having sex.
Of course, they will have sex there!
Its a new place, its a camper, it is novelty, it is a "fun" place to have sex. They WILL HAVE SEX there. That is a no brainer.

Again, the solution is, simply don't invite the Boyfriend.
He does not have to... come along.
Right?
Isn't it good for them to be separate for a bit anyway? It is a family trip.

My parents never dragged around my boyfriends on FAMILY trips, just because I wanted him along.
My parents would have just said NO. This is a family trip. Just us. No boyfriend. Period.

Again, they are not Honeymooners for crying out loud.
Why is everyone treating it like they are?

Good Lord no I would not allow this. I don't care if they're sexually active or not, I'm certainly not going to sanction that part of their relationship by allowing them to sleep in the same bed. There has to be some level of propriety here, even if it's just for keeping up an image of it. He can sleep on the floor or in a tent.

Do you really think they are going to have sex in your trailer? With you guys there? Sorry but the only thing more terrifying than the thought of your kids walking in, is your parents walking in....even if you have been married for years...ya know?

I would say sure but he sleeps in a sleeping bag n the floor and your daughter sleeps with you lol. not together. not in the same bedroom even. a tent away from you is a great idea. the boy in the tent and your daughter in with you.

Nope, I wouldn't allow it. Someone can use a sleeping bag on the floor or use a tent (but not together). I am realistic about what teens may do in private, but in the company of your parents and family, that crosses the line as disrespectful.

Nope. Sorry. Not in my house (er, camper) and certainly not if there are younger kids around.

It's so funny to read about this. I actually had a conversation with my husband before marriage and told him that NONE of our kids (his, or mine) would sleep in the same room as their boyfriend/girlfriend before marriage. My parents didn't allow it and I don't either.

BTW your views are not a "roadblock"--they are your views and you are entitled to them. AND she is a minor. However if they are both good kids I wouldn't mind him coming. I would just insist on separate sleeping arrangements.

Getting good grades has nothing to do with having sex.

I was in National Honor's Society and took college courses before I graduated high school. I also had sex.

If they are already sexually active I don't see what the big deal is with them sharing a bed?

I think you're outvoted.

I am with you. It is not appropriate. You don't say whether or not there are any other kids around. It would be setting a terrible example/precedent for any younger siblings to allow your stepdaughter and her boyfriend to sleep in the same bed under your nose. I wouldn't allow it either.

I'm with Mickey and the tent idea. That way, you have some control over the sleeping arrangements.

no way....I am with you. Parents should not allow this and approve of it.

Ummm... No.
Your house -- Your rules.
No boyfriends in the bed, thanks.
LBC

No way, no how. I don't care if they are sexually active or not. She is a teenager, not an adult. Boundaries are in order. If the boyfriend goes, he stays in his own tent ALONE!

If they don't like it, he stays HOME! ALONE!

Wow! I'm so glad we treated our kids like kids and not mini-adults!

No....That arrangement would not fly with me...mother or step mother.

Well gee if they sleep together all the time anyway, then one staying at the MIL site and one staying in your camper should be a nice break for a change.
Not inviting the boyfriend is certainly an option.
And your family is not a democracy - you can't be out voted.
When I visited my then boyfriend (now husband) in the Adirondacks after I graduated college (we were in our 20's), I stayed in a tent and he slept in the back of his Mom's suburban (his Mom and Dad stayed in their camper).
And it would have been beyond rude to insist or even suggest we sleep together even though we were certainly consenting adults.
With parental consent, in some states, kids this age can get legally married, and once married they can sleep together all they want where ever they want.