Teenage Depression

L.,
I suffer from chemical imbalance and have depression. I have had it since before I started kindergarten. I am now 45 years old. I stuggled through child hood and teenage years especially. My parents never got any help for me. I did not get help until I was on my own at age 18. I have a 16 year old son who I saw the same thing happening to him when he was about 13. He goes to the same psychiatrist that I do. He takes medication for depression and for ADD. It has made the world of difference for him, just as my meds do for me. Please let him have the medication. As long as his is in therapy and regularly seeing the psychiatrist he will be okay. He has more of a chance to have suidcial thoughts or attempts without the medication that with the medication. Please believe me from first hand experience. When I was pregnant with in 86 and again in 91 - you were not allowed to take medication, but less depression medication. 1986 was bad, but 1991 was horrible. I was pregnant and tried committing suicide because I did not have my depression medication. My feelings are, no matter what the age is, if depression exists especially with chemical imbalance, the medication is needed and will help.
B. - Jessup, Maryland

About Me - 45 years old, divorced - 3 kids, all boys, 10, 16 and the oldest will be 21 this month. Can't work due to the severe depression. An everything consultant - Avon, Tupperware, Longaberger Baskets, Mia Bella Candles, Fuller Brush Company.

Definately get him help ASAP. Depression is nothing to play around with. Perhaps some of it is related to his kidney issue. So maybe after the transplant is over and he is back on his feet he will feel somewhat better about things. But I wouldnt depend on the transplant to fix his depression. He still needs help. I might look into schizophrenia and bi-polar as 2 options. It will be helpful to narrow it down as to whats affecting him and treat the depression as well as everything else.
Just be patient, understanding and supportive because it might take some time for a proper diagnosis.
Another piece of advice I'd like to share is to keep a close eye on him but try not to hover. Its a fine line to walk...you dont want to make him paranoid or freak out, but you want to be aware of any changes he goes thru so you can get help right away. I say this because if he is suicidal now or at any point, he cannot be left alone. Please!
MY brother committed suicide at age 21. He had been thru an accident that nearly severed his arm and made it difficult for him to get a job. He sank into a depression. My folks got him help, but because he was 21 and could drive they let him be responsible for getting to and from his counseling appointments. Big mistake. He lied, he wasnt going. Had he been going he would have gotten meds from the dr. who was awaiting to dx him w/ depression and he might be here today. He was also left alone, but my parents did not see he was suicidal. That came on suddenly. They also had to work, so they couldnt "babysit" him at all times. That is all I can share w/ you right now as it still upsets me to this day, and it was 10yrs ago.
Please get help.

L.,

It sounds like you have already received some great advice, from your follow up response, but I wanted to add my two cents. First of all, I'm sorry for the difficult time you are going through right now. My family went through a similar situation with my oldest sister last summer and it was devastating at the time, but we got through it and she is doing the best she has done in years. (It was very scary, she has three children and my poor mom was terrified).

I have been in this field of work for a few years. I worked as a therapeutic wilderness instructor for kids with all sorts of issues many struggling with depression. My biggest advice is gaining knowledge, and making sure you get the best child psychiatrist in the city. The hard part is getting into the best ones, but do all in your power to do that if you have not already done so. If your son needs meds you want to make sure he gets on the right ones. The day my sister got into a great psychiatrist is the day that saved her life. (She was a very extreme case). I have seen time and time again kids on a huge cocktail of meds and it can get out of control. I also have seen kids on certain meds that have made all the difference. This is where having a good doctor comes into play. I have seen miracles, and it doesn't mean he has to stay on them for life, it might be to help him get through this hard time in his life. 15 is hard, and 15 with a need for a kidney transplant is even more difficult. One word of caution, please do some serious research if the Doctor suggests putting your son on some type of Benzo. (Xanax, Clonazepam, Klonopin etc). They are anti anxiety meds, and in my experience, they have done more damage than good in every case I have seen. Maybe I am biased because that is the drug my sister became addicted to, but I would stay away. This is where research comes in.

I think it's great that he feels safe enough to talk to you about voices he is hearing. From what it sounds like it is negative self talk to himself. We can be our worst enemy with tearing ourselves down. This is something I have struggled with in my life when I was younger. It is a huge part of depression. When people are depressed they tear themselves apart. It's great he is in counseling. Is there anything he is passionate about, or that he gains confidence from by doing? For me it was horses when I was an adolescent.

I hope I haven't overwhelmed you with this LONG response. This is just something I am passionate about. I am no longer working there because I am sitting here 4 days away from my due date with our first baby, but I LOVED working with kids and seeing them learn to love themselves through hard work and challenge. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. You sound like a loving parent, and I hope with all my heart your son finds peace and joy in himself and that he knows he is adored by his family. This too shall pass, and it might take some time.

Good luck and may you and your family be in Gods loving arms throughout this difficult time.

Sincerely B. Hoopes.

L.:
I have a 12 year old who has suffered with depression and has had issues of harming himself. A friend of mine who has a Bi-Polar 16 year old son, told me about a regimen she has used with huge success, that has alleviated her son's depression and has allowed him to be healthy and even come off his meds. The company can't claim to cure, diagnose or treat illnesses but the products have worked wonders for both of our sons. I truly feel it has saved my son's life - and the best part
is now I have my wonderful, loving son back! I am a single mother, full time RN, and our relationship was being challenged to the point of where I wondered if I would even have a life that included him. Therapy did nothing for him either and I didn't want him medicated with antidepressants due to the studies of potential suicide in children. Now, thanks to the regimen my friend shared with me, we spend time together and again enjoy being together. And I have lost the worry of worryihg about him harming himself as he is HAPPY and is actually making friends again!

If you would like to contact me, please feel free to email me at ____@____.com - just put something in the subject line so I will open your email.

I have been in your shoes and will be praying for you and your family.
Blessings,
E.

L.,

I wish you well in whatever decision you make for your son. It is wonderful to have so many suggestions. However, I know so many suggestions can also make it hard to pick the "one" that you will decide is best for your situation.

I have worked with many clients who were depressed and even bipolar. Some had good reasons for the depression and some didn't. In all the cases that I have worked with, I have always found that B vitamins along with a good multivitamin were what the individual needed. Be careful, because all vitamins are not the same. In fact, most are worthless. Here are my recomendations:

Multivitamin: One Daily, Herbal Healer OR Multiple Vitamin Without Iron, New Sun, Inc Take 2 in the morning and 2 in the afternoon.

B Vitamins: B 100's, Herbal Healer OR B Complex New Sun, Inc. Take 2 in the morning and 2 in the afternoon.

Please understand that B Vitamins that are not made to respect the balance that is found in plants can make a person worse. I have used the brands that I recommended above for many years now and they have always worked. Within 24 hours my clients are happy and able to cope with lifes painful situations.

L.,

I did not see your request until today, I know that god brought this to me were I could share how depression has personaly effected me since I was a young child. A little history about me I am 36 yrs old and haver suffered from chronic chemical depression since I was a small child. It was finally diagnosised at age 15 when I took 175 extra strength tylenol and went to bed praying not to wake up. The good news is I did.

To be honest with you I have tried every single anti-depressant on the market. After 16 weeks in a in patient hospital I was released with no medication and some of the most amazing skills to deal with life that money could buy. The problem, I am allergic to one of the main ingrediants used to make anti-depressants. They tend to work approx. 3-4 months and then I have experienced every single side effect warned on the lables.

So my advice is watch your son. Besure to watch for a decline in effectiveness. Even the silghtest of change needs to be reported to his doctor. Make sure that your son likes his doctor. If he doesn't he will not develope the skills to manage the depression. He will still have what I have always called my blue moments. Moments being the key word, he should be allowed to have them, keep them brief. Let him know that it is ok and that there is really nothing he can do to change them, except to keep them brief. I pray that your son responds well to his medication, but know he can learn to manage it if he doesn't. Remember, he needs daily reminders that he isn't going through this alone even though he will feel as if he is. That is the nature of this beast, to create a feeling of hopelessness and to leaving you feeling that this is the way you will feel forever. If your son isn't already in some kind of adolescent support group, get him in one. He needs to realize that order normal teenagers are experiencing the very same thought, feelings and concerns.

I know that God will hear the many prayers being said on behalf of your son. He will reach down and place his hands on him and heal this medical problem. Just know that if he doesn't correct the depression with the transplant of his new kidney then your son is meant to go on and touch the lives of many through the struggles that he has endured. It has been a blessing for me and I have had the fortunate opportunity to minister to many youth struggling just as your son is. I know that your son will have the same opportunties when he is grown with his own family.

It has made me a better wife and mother of three 17, 16 & 12. By the way, I am also a Mary K. Independent Beauty Consultant. May God continue to bless you and your family. You will be in my prayers indefinitely.

K. K.

I just came across your story today. My daughter has suffered from severe migraines for 3 years now. She is in pain almost on a daily basis. She finally couldn't take it anymore. We had been talking about her being so down and sad and she couldn't stand it. She has been on Celexa and it is helping. We did have to increase the dose once so far with good results. So don't worry if that happens. It is still a low dose of 30mg. The doctor says it is important to stay on this med for one year for optimal results. Meaning less chance of falling back into the same depression. Her brain shouldn't produce too much seritonin after the year. I was worried at first also but have been reassured with her doctor and results. The last thing we want is for our kids to be in pain of any kind. Good Luck to you and your family, D. G

Hi L.,

First I want to say my prayers are with you. My sister is currently dealing with her son, 19, who is very depressed.

I have 3 children, all still young, and I can only imagine the heartache you must feel on a daily basis.

When I read your story, my first thought was to suggest that you get in touch with Dr. Laura. She loves and cares so deeply for children and I believe she has the resourses to direct you in possitive, constructive way. You can go to her website and get a phone number. I would do this if I were in your shoes. Give this a chance.

Prayers for your dear son, for you and your family.

M.

L.
I know this is late, I am just now seeing this, but I did want to respond. My son was diagnosed with anxiety, depression, and ADHD at the age of 7, he is now 23. We have a wonderful doctor that has treated him from the beginning and is still doing so. Right now he is on Zoloft and Wellbutrin for depression, and has been for several years. One works one side of the brain and one works the other side. He also takes dexadrine for ADHD. He was in counscling and under the 504 for all his schooling. He has graduated and has a full time job with fantastic benefits. Teens can have suicidal thoughts just as well without the help of medications. It sounds like their could be other problems besides depression, but they are all closely related. Do not be afraid of medications. I do not think my son could functions without his. When he was 21 he wanted to try without meds so we took some time and took him off. It lasted about two days. He said he needed his medication to be able to function like everyone else. We are very private with his medical issues, he takes meds only in the morning, and most people do not know he takes anything at all. He has learned that it is simply part of his life and has moved on with it. Everyone has a different opinion. I say, find a good doctor, and do what he says. Make sure your son has some what of a say in things, it makes it a lot easier for him to accept and deal with. After all, this is about him. Tell him to hang in there, things will get better. His age,15, is a hard age by itself. I think 6th to 9th grade were the hardest for my son. I am so proud of him, but it has been a hard, long struggle. Give tons of LOVE, SPACE, PATIENCE, and CARING. Sometimes just some one on one works.
My prayer are with you all. I know the struggle. Lift it up to the Lord and ask for His guidance.

S. Miller

Hello L.,

You got so many great answers to your post, but of course, I had to ad mine *Smiles*. I can't even imagine what you all must be going through with your son's upcoming transplant, especially your son. I know it must be very scary! To add on depression makes it even worse for you. *Big Hugs*

My son who is 20 now is severe Bi-polar, ADHD and OCD. We started seeing these problems when he was in Kindergarden. To say it was easy or not to bad would be a lie. My son has been on all sorts of meds through the years. It usually takes sometime to find the right med for your child, because everyone is different. After everything I have been through with my son, I would tell most to avoid meds if at all possible, but in your case I would say that is not possible.

My son gets very depressed at times and has cut himself. He took a knife to his wrist when he was 8 and tried to hang himself when he was 10. They finally found meds that worked for him when was 11 1/2. He was like a totally different child. I think the med risperidol is the one that did it for him, it is a anti-psychotic. He has been on the same meds pretty much since then and is out on his own and working.

I think my the main thing I wanted to tell you was to watch your son. YOU know him better than anyone, as to what is normal and NOT normal for him. Do not be afraid to tell the doctor NO, if you don't feel a med is right or something needs to change. They had my son on 7 different meds one time because of one side effect after another. I put my foot down, and made them strip him of his meds and start over. I just told them, Apparently what you have him on is not working and we need to find something that will. I agree that you should hold off taking him off the meds after the kidney transplant, he may still need than and you wouldn't want to throw him backwards in his treatment.

I wish you and your family all the happiness you deserve, and some peace in your lives so you can all relax and enjoy eachother. I am sure your son will come through this just fine having a mom like you! Great big hugs from one mom to another. Best of Luck

T.

Hi L.,

Go out immediately and buy or check out from the library the book "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne or go to your local movie store and rent the movie. Have your son read or watch it with you. It is incredible and has changed our lives. We are a family of enormous faith and the book was sent to us in a time of need and has answered prayers.

Secondly, I was on massive amounts of antidepressants and things got worse instead of better. They were giving me meds to treat the side effects of other meds. I went to womentowomen.com and joined their program and use their supplements and exercise 5 days a week and have been off all meds for three years and am very happy! I realize your dealing with a son and a site for women might not help. But, you could go to the site and read about things like depression to open your mind to other ways to treat the problem. They give good suggestions that can apply to men or women. I am just saying never underestimate the power of a good supplement, exercise and a little sunshine (no matter what Drs say). I will be praying for you and your family. Now run and get that book!!!!!!!!!!! M.

I suffered from depression for a long time [and technically still do]. I was evaluated and given a couple different meds and ended up on Zoloft. I don't remember the others. I took it, felt like a new person, but had side affects and a concern about taking a medicine that you had to be "weened" off of. I happened to be watching Oprah [I rarely watch] and a woman mentioned she took a dosage of Flax seed each morning. I was curious and researched it and discovered it helped with depression.

Under my doctor's supervision, I weened myself off of the Zoloft and gave my body a break. Well, of course the depression returned. I started taking one Flax Seed Oil Capsule and that day felt better. I took it every day for a while then I would only take one when I "needed" it. But I find that my day goes better and when I start it off with Flax seed.

Then theres my daughter. I've been taking her to all kinds of doctors to evaluate her for anxiety, autism, ADD because I realize something is wrong. I kept asking about Depression and was told she wasn't depressed. Long story short, I took her off the meds (which 99% didn't help) and starting giving her one Flaxseed Oil capsule a day. Her days are so much better now. I notice she is happier and we aren't having the same social issues we used to have. Some of that may be she is outgrowing whatever was going on but I KNOW when I don't give her the Flaxseed Oil capsule for a few days, she has difficulty and as soon as I give her one, the day noticeably starts going better so she gets one capsule everyday.

I'm not a doctor but this worked not only for my daughter and I but also for another friend who started going through depression. It is a natural herb. Ask your doctor if there is any problem using it with whatever other medications he is taking. I would ask both the doctor and a Holistic doctor because I found Doctors who are quick to prescribe meds don't believe in natural remedies. I have a doctor who tries both. I hope this helped. Read up on Flaxseed. (It's early and I didn't feel like proof reading so forgive any difficulties.)

Its good to see your son is getting the help he needs and hopefully this is all related to the kidney problems. However, don't be too quick to eliminate the meds after his kidneys are back up and running. Hearing voices is more than depression, and the Dr. is recognizing that w/ the mood stabalizer. I would imagine that is a VERY scary thing for a teen to go through, don't be afraid to let him know that would scare you also so he doens't feel so "weird". Keep open w/out smothering and encourage your hub to talk openly with him as well to check on how he's feeling, if the meds are helping, if the voices are continuing...
God Bless

Hello L.,
I have an 18yr old who has been in and out of depression. What has worked for me is to talk and talk and just keep talking about the positive things by consentrating his goals and keeping him focused brings him around evenually.
I know teenage yrs are a hard time anyway. Do you have your son on high antioxidants like green tea? You might consider some natural foods like yogurt, dark chocolate not milk choc, Fuse drinks,emergenC vitamin drinks, etc.
I hope this helps you can shot back any questions to FreeGasAtLast.com/id

One of my sons, now 21, has been on Zoloft since 7th grade; when he was younger he talked about the "bad" voice, would come home from school announcing his life sucked and he wished he was dead, I could go on but the point is the Zoloft helped so much. He was diagnosed as chronically depressed, I think he has a touch of Aspberger's syndrome. He is still socially inept, still has a problem with whatever is going thru his head flying out of his mouth without a filter, but is able to roll with life instead of let it pull him under. You can always stop the meds if the effects are adverse. Your son's old enough to know the meds won't make him happy, just able to cope, and sometimes that's what they need, especially when looking at a huge life trauma. Good luck and God bless.

Hi L.-

As a licensed psychotherapist who specializes in teens, you deserve a "well-done". While I like to add meds as a last possibility, it was clearly needed in this case with your son, at least for now. You listened to him, talked with him and sought the proper help. A+ for you mom. I can not tell you how many times I have witnessed parents stand by and "wait out" the depression or suicidal ideation, only to end up in a horrible situation. I applaud you mom! You did everything right.
Blessings,
Dr. B. M., MFT, PsyD.

I know that this post is late and things are looking up for you but I would like to tell what my 20 y/o daughter just discovered a month ago. She has suffered from depression since she was 14 and has been on several types of anti-depressants over the years. She has also been in counseling off and on. Recently, she spent a month at an organic farm that specialized in herbal medicine and holistic lifestyles. She read a book called "The Places That Scare You" by Pema Chodron. She experienced a breakthrough in her depressive attitude. She told me that it drastically changed her thoughts. Both my husband and older daughter and I have seen a wonderful change in her. She still takes an anti depressant but is being weaned off it. She practices the techniques when old thought patterns come up. Check out the book and see if it talks to your son. Good luck in all.
K.

Have they ruled out hypothyroidism? Many people are medicated for depression when they are actually hypothyroid & the medication makes them worse. Check out http://thyroid.about.com/ for some good info. It's always good to rule things out before medicating. My best friend was misdiagnosed w/depression instead of hypothyroidism and my daughter starting displaying ADD symptoms when she actually has hypothyroidism. Over 25% of children diagnosed w/ADHD & ADD have hypothyroidism. I believe the # is higher for people misdiagnosed w/depression. Since you mentioned the chemical imbalance I thought I'd mention this. The doctor of the woman who gives advice on the website I mentioned is very good & practices in Alexandria if you're interested in a 2nd opinion. I go to her too & she is excellent. Let me know if you'd like more info. Good luck to you.
L.

L.:
I hope that this is simply depression brought on by the difficulty of your son's life, but I am very concerned to read that he is hearing voices-I am also concerned to hear some of the advice that you recieved. While it is possible that this is all because of his kidney problem, please be very careful after his surgery when weaning him off antipsychotic medication. This is exactly the age that real mental illness begins to manifest itself and if he is suffering from that he will be much better off on meds.
My 22 year old son began to suffer from "psychotic depression" at 17 and we wasted two years on trials of different antidepressants. After those two years, he ended up in the hospital and eas diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. FINALLY he was properly medicated and now is a full time student, works part time and lives on his own. Believe me, if there is something more wrong you owe it to him and to yourselves to have him on good meds. If you take him off something that he needs, his road will be much more difficult.
As for God, who I love dearly, I have found through this that while He will definitely be here to help me get through things and while He has been watching over my son all along, He seems to have different ideas than we do a lot of the time. Praying for healing from a mental illness is a great thing to do, but I believe that God is also very glad that man has developed good medicine (and kidney transplants!!!) so that His people do not have to suffer. Pray for help and strength for yourselves and your son, but also get him good care for his mental difficulties so that he has a chance to be happy and peaceful.

What a challenge. As a mom I have no direct experience with teen depression. However, depression issues are rampant in my family. My father is bipolar. My siblings and myself have always struggled to have a sense of well being. For me, learning to cope with symptoms etc. was really helped along by meeting people who had dealt with similar challenges and learned how to overcome them.

If there is any possible way to get your son in contact with someone who dealt with at least part of the challenges he is currently facing, it may help him to see that they are in fact, not insurmountable. I pray that he and your family will find some peace and reassurance that this situation is only temporary and that you all possess the strength to face it. I hope someone comes into your lives that helps deliver that message.

Take Care,
M.
mother in Baltimore

Hi,
I have a good friend who's daughter has been dealing with many of the same issues since she was nine. She has received excellent care from a psychologist and psychiatrist. Is your medical doctor aware of all of these issues? Have the meds he is on for his kidneys been evaluated? I'm sure that's the first thing you thought of, but maybe another track on the meds could lessen any side effects that could be causing depression.
The young lady that I was referring to has been diagnosed and is receiving regular treatment combining meds with therapy. She is gradually getting better.
I will keep your son in my prayers.

L. - I am a foster carer and have been dealing with adolescents with mental health problems for the past three years. My advice to you is that if the psychiatrist is recommending medication then you should listen to what he says. Self harm in teenagers in a very common problem and can be 'catching' amongst groups of youngsters however your son is describing hearing voices which is usually as sign of something far more serious. Children with debiliatating disease do get very depressed (my own daughter died of terminal illness when she was 14). Once the meds kick in you will see a difference but you must be patient as sometimes this can take weeks depending on what has been prescribed. Of course with his medical condition great care must be made in choosing a drug which will not upset any other problems he may have. I wish you well with this and hope it all goes well for. I know how difficult this is for you - please know you are in my thoughts. G.

L.,
Although I am not a mom with a depressed teen. I am a mom who was a depressed teen. From your son's point of view: The WHOLE world has CHANGED. His "world", as a normal teen has come to an end. The meds may help. Just watch for him becoming more detached. That is what I did. The few things I still enjoyed I no longer did. My dose was too high. I was never happy nor was I sad....just flooating in limbo....that can increase suicidal thoughts as well. My personal advice without knowing every last detail, is to show him how normal his life still IS!!! Can he still go to ball games or to the movies with friends? Get him going again. If he is hospital bound, then bring the outside in. Things he enjoyed before he was diagnosed (not video games) help him learn to love them in a different way, if not the same way as before. Invite his friends over, even if he says he doesn't want them there. Make sure he is feeling well, then suprise him with a few best buds and fav food.
My mom did these things for me almost 10 years ago and I thank her for it. She saved my life and I would not be here today if it wasn't her.
Stay strong. This will pass. Pray.

L., your son is facing a life threatening illness, and at 15 he is not well experienced in living to cope with it. Add to that the fact that the toxic wastes that his body is having problems removing may be partially the cause of his depression or maybe even the "voices" of doom and gloom. Taking him to a psychiatrist is a great step, and I'm hoping that he/she can prescribe a medication to get your son through this tough time in his life. I would take any advice that the psychiatrist gives, use the medications that he prescribes, and show your son that you love him and are there for him. Having an upbeat attitude yourself may be hard, and it may not seem to have any effect, but your son may be able to lean on your hope when his is faltering.

Hi L.,

Your son is in the full blown stage of grief for the perceived loss of a part of himself. My question is:

What is causing his kidneys to fail?

Keep him oriented to reality. Keep him busy with activities to help distract him from thinking too much.

Take him to get massages at the local massage school on a weekly basis to help him with relaxation. Get him some relaxation music from the Heritage Store.

The medication is to help to calm the voices in his head. Get the Doctor to show you the effects of the medication from his Drug Reference Book.

As you already know, teen years are difficult. They are trying to figure out their identity. With this change in his body, he is having difficulty knowing who he really is.

Get him on medication to calm the voices in his head; get him some relaxing music which he can pick out; get him a massage on a weekly basis.

Hope this helps and good luck. I will keep you all in my prayers and ask the white light of healing energy to surround him and your family during this troubling time.

D.

Hi L.,

I am sorry that your son and your family are having to go through this, but most likely after the evaluation, your son WILL be on medication, and it can be a very good thing. Please do not let psychiatric medication make you nervous. It can mean the world of difference for him.

It takes a few weeks however to have them help him. I know tons and tons of people who take them. You do too, you just don't know who they are. If people would start talking about it more, it would be less "odd" and more common, and then you would see this whole thing in a different light.

Mental illness of any kind is no different than a physical illness sometimes, and needs to be treated quickly and chronically.

Hang in there, keep saying your prayers, and be good to your family. Everyone hold on tight and this whole thing can have a very good outcome.

Barbara

L.,

Do not turn down meds just based on hearsay or Tom Cruise philosophy. Your son has special needs and is crying out for help. Share all of your concerns w/the psychiatrist. Is this someone who specializes in teens or adolecents? Medicine has made so many advances in recent years. Let the doctors treat him, but don't go into it blindly. Everything has a side effect. Weigh the options. I too have teenagers. One suffered from depression for years. As a last resort we turned to medication. It really truly helped her, though it took a few different meds to figure out what worked best for her. She made it through and is now off all the meds and 19 years old and doing well. It is a tough choice to make but it sounds like you know your son well. You can watch him, monitor his behavior etc. Just remember to follow all instructions w/meds, like taking the dosage when needed, not skipping and not stopping abruptly since these can have adverse effects. Get educated, be an advocate & be strong. Remember there are no magic pills. I would strongly suggest reading up on teen depression. Keep in mind all the things you can do in addition to medication, like diet, getting plenty of sunlight (very important) etc. Watch out for herbal supplements given his medical condition. Keep him as active as possible. It's a very difficult time for you and your family. It sounds like you have a very loving household. I wish you the best. Please keep me posted.
M.

My family has a history of depression and my little brother tried to hang himself when he was 16. My father didn't notice many of the signs of depression thinking he was a rebellious teen. Luckily my brother found him before it was too late and he was able to receive treatment and medications. I'm happy to report that he is now 24 and doing great with the help of medication to balance his moods. Please don't be scared of medications especially if it's a chemical imbalance. Without intervention he may also have suicidal thoughts too.

There is a great PBS documentary on depression that just premiered last month. At the end of the show Jane Pauley, who suffers from Manic Depression, interviews some experts on the topic too. It is full of credible information and includes some great interviews with both experts and people who have coped with depression including a family whose teenage son suffered from depression.

You can watch the show online or find the next time it airs on PBS at http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/takeonestep/depression/ The website also has some links to other information on depression.

Larkin McPhee who produced the show is from Minneapolis as is Dr. Kim who started a womens mental health clinic at HCMC. It is great that mental health is getting more attention. It's too bad that stigma often prevents many people from seeking help for illnesses just because they are 'mental' in nature.

Wow! You certainly have your hands full. Have you ever considered the toxins and chemicals you use right in your own home? I'm a Melaleuca consultant and there is lots of research and many personal testimonies about health issues that really are caused by what we use in our homes and on our bodies. Illnesses to includ depression, ADHD, upper respiratory issues and more. My mate suffers from depression as well as several other illnesses. He has been medicated for years but doesn't like taking the meds because he feels it keeps him feeling like a zombie. Since I have made the change to get all the chemicals out of my home we have seen changes in his health. Has every thing gotten better?? no. But they he has suffered with these illnesses for years. However we do see improvement daily. Look at the Melaleuca website. www.melaleuca.com. If you are interested in learning more, you can contact me at ###-###-####. Good luck and no matter what remember don't every give up; stay prayerful and keep looking towards heaven.

L.- I haven't experienced this with my own children as they are very young, but we have been through this with my older brother when he was a teen. Medicine can help but be sure that he is monitored well and that you have open communication between the psychiatrist and yourself. I wish you luck and will keep you in my prayers.

Hi I am C. and your son haveing this chemical problem in his body this are toxins. read about this product OPC 3 work with your toxin on this web site www.marketamerica.com/moraru it is an very powerfull antioxidant, work with our body toxins. If you nedd more informatin e-mail me at ____@____.com.
I wish he will feel better soon.
C.

First of all, big hugs to you! My heart ached as I read your message. I remember being 14/15 and it was an awful time without any health issues.
I'm not sure where you are geographically and what resources you have available, but when my son had behavioral issues at preschool the best advice I was given was to meet with a nutritionist. I had a recommendation from another mom, a colleague of the nutritionist, and a local pharmacy/apothecary that has a strong homeopathic section and a great nutritional advisor. I met with the nutritionist - who is much more like a homeopathic doctor than the "eat from all five food groups" type that I had pictured - and it was great. She felt that my sons behavioral issues mostly stemmed from anxiety and that he needed much more in the way of calming agents in his system - fish oil and magnesium. I also read Karen DeFelice's book "Go With Your Gut". I have a great deal of skepticism about some of the homeopathic/natural foods remedies, but in this case the advice was right on and we've seen definite improvement for my son.
I'm describing all of this because a lack of Omega-3 in the diet has been linked to depression, and the average teenager probably doesn't eat much of the sources (walnuts & flax seed). It's probably not a substitute for medication if that's appropriate, but just wanted to give you another option to talk with your son's pediatrician.
Based on my very short parenting experience, sometimes just knowing there are multiple options makes the situation a little bit easier.
All the best,
SG

. Gogggle EFT and see if you can contact a therapist to help , get a free telephone session , ask all your questions. its a Energy medicine model that treats Depression and other illnesses, Down-load and read free e-book take your time, This is remarkable, elegant, kind, and it works. Go to Tapping.com to get a start. It based on Chinese meridians in the body.

I wish you the best,

Best, keep the faith , trust your heart, ask the Creator for guidance often,
L. H

Do not be afraid to try antidepressant medication. In your son's case (depression induced psychosis) the benefits far outweigh the risk. Please do not delay! The medication can literally be a lifesaver.

Be very prayerful for your family. Make sure you discuss your concerns with the psychiatrist. I am not against medication, but some do cause side effects. I've met some parents who have children with ADHD or autism and have discontinued meds when they saw their children experiencing side effects, particularly when the meds weren’t helping the behavior. If he’s already hearing voices and is severely depressed, it’s not something you can afford to ignore and medication might be helpful. I’d probably try the medications and ask more questions about his screenings. You wrote there was a chemical imbalance. Can that be corrected via vitamin supplements in addition to the meds., so that eventually he can be weaned off the meds? Has he been tested for food chemicals? Additives like red dye and certain preservatives can exacerbate hormonal problems. I'd also eliminate junk food and sugars from his diet for a month or two to see if his worldview improves. These are things you should discuss with his medical team.

Other things you can do. Make sure your son is not exposed to too many outside influences, like cable, Internet, video games, etc., while in this delicate state. Or, at least monitor his exposure. What's he watching? What's he listening to? I hope it's positive images and things that make him smile. Is he depressed about the kidney disease or is this teenage depression? Too hard to know now with so many things going on. Spiritually, I'd be under the care of our church family. I'd also try some art therapy or something creative to help get him to release some of that negativity in his mind. Maybe painting or journaling will help him process what's going on inside of his own mind, and then I'd invite him to share it with me if he wanted. Finally, is he strong enough to do any simple exercises that might help get his energy levels up? Walking, yoga, prayer and meditation might release some endorphins that might help shake some of the depression and restore some of his natural exuberance. Make sure your entire family is a good support system now and that you all come together during this crisis. Don't let your son feel like he's broken or a problem. He's a family member going through something, and all of you will unite to help him through it. That's what families do (or should do) for one another. Remind him when another family member experienced something traumatic, so he doesn't feel alone. Maybe if he feels the love and continues talking with you all, that will help release the tension you all might be experiencing. Be sure to seek out a good counselor for yourself. That's a lot for a mother to carry and you'll need your own support system while going through this! I’m sure you know you have an entire cyber-community praying for you.

I'm not sure if you are a religious person, but when I was a teenager, I suffered from depression. At one point, I felt like hurting myself. I found God through a Christian Church. Getting closer to God helped me heal and probably saved my life. Also there is power in prayer.

Hi L.,
My prayers for you and your family.
Pay close attention to his diet! Eating processed carbohydrates (breads, cookies, cereals,chips, etc.)can have an effect on emotions. Lots of raw organic vegetables! Yogurt and probiotics are vital for life but most doctors do not know anything about them.

Love,
M.

There is a good depression group at the Glen Burnie Methodist Church, Wednesday nights at 7:30. It's not well known for our own wellbeing. There aren't any teens in it, but it might be helpful for you to come and share. Basically just a Christian, caring group.

Since you are a believer,if you haven't already, consider Christian ounseling at Ephesians Ministry in Silver Spring MD, and stay on your knees in prayer for your son. I will pray too.

I have a special needs son who just turned 20 and he has had to take medication for years for major depression. It is nothing to play around with. It may take a while to find the right medication but when they do, it will help him be able to live a more normal life. Cymbalta works good for my son. I didn't want to medicate my son either, but his life is so much happier and easier when we do!

L., My 15 yo son is not depressed but he is ADD and has been on meds since he was 7. They have been a life saver. I have been on anti-depressants for 8 years. They too have been a life saver. If the Doctor says to try the meds, then you should follow his/her advice. Then watch closely for signs of behavior changes. Keep the lines of communication open between you and your son. Yes, I know it is easier said than done with teens. But keep on praying and don't let yourself get rundown either!

L.,
Depression really hits home for me. I have struggled with it since the 7th grade. My parents sent me to psychologist but I never really felt that I could open up. It just simply didn't work for me. Then my parents had me see a psychiatrist. I was prescribed an anti-depressant...it took a bit to find the right drug and dosing but I am sure that it saved my life. I know that it is scary to think about giving your son drugs and what all the side effects may be. But trust his psychiatrist and if your son does go onto medication make sure to watch his mood for 6 weeks to make sure that it is working and not causing more harm.
Also, make sure to ask the dr. if it could be bipolar disorder, I have heard that anti-depressants can make a bipolar person suicidal.
By the way, I am now almost 30, I have a wonderful daughter, marrage, have a successful job and am no longer taking medication. So do not worry that your son will be this way forever, or any less successful. You are a wonderful mother for reaching out to others and for not ignoring your sons behavior.

L.
I have 3 kids all in their 20's & 30's now. Depression was not apparent in my kids as teens. From what they tell me now, they did have bouts of it. I am eternally gratefull to God for whatever got them through into healthy adults. As for drugs for teens, I would agree as long as it shows an improvement and is monitored. My oldest was always hyper as a teen; not diagnosed but had definite mood swings. You never knew if the switch would flip up or down if you asked a simple question. At the age of 21, she went to the doctor for chest pains and found out she had anxiety issues. The doctor put her on medication. I WOULD hAVE PAID A FORTUNE to realise back then how much as a teen she needed this medication. In her 30's now, she is still on this kind of drug, with the doctor monitoring the strength and changing the drug as needed. She might not have been grounded for 3 of her 4 years in high school.
Listen to all of your son's doctors. Make sure the primary doctor is aware of all drugs he is prescribed. If you see adverse reactions, call the doctor. My nephew was on a drug that cause him to be very jittery. They kept trying other drugs and strengths until they found just the right one for him.
Make sure your son knows you love him and will be there for him. You need to speak louder the 'voices' in his head.
God Bless you and your family.

L.,
As someone who has suffered from a chemical imbalance/depression since I was a teenager, and also as someone who has personally dealt with the suicide of a close loved one, please let me advise you to immediately call the psychiatrist that your son has seen, and tell him or her that your son is hearing voices that are telling him to give up, etc. It sounds like your son needs to be hospitalized for his own safety. What your son is experiencing are the same things that my best friend experienced right before she committed suicide. I am honestly not trying to scare you, but your son is in dire need of intervention and protection. He is not thinking clearly or rationally. Medication is definitely the way to go, although because he is already suicidal, he should be in a hospital for the first few weeks while they get the dosage right, etc. He is a danger to himself, and needs to be watched closely while starting the meds; this can best be done in a hospital environment. My mom and dad did not understand nor were they educated about depression, and so it wasn't until I left home at 18 that I got the help that I desperately needed. Please do all you can to educate yourself on the signs of suicide; it could very well prevent a tragedy. Please get your son immediate help, and please do not leave him alone at all; there is no shame in putting him in the hospital for his own safety. God bless you all, and I pray that your son will feel better soon.

I am a nurse of 35 years and the fact that your son is hearing voices is very disturbing. I am glad he is seeing a psychiatrist. It is not surprising that he is having situational depression due to his chronic kidney condition. However, the voices do not relate to depression.

Teenagers are impulsive and believe they are invincible. Having a serious illness such as his does not fit in this normal way of thinking for this age group. I would work very closely with the psychiatrist and keep an open diaglogue with your son.

My thoughts are with you.
A.

I know you are feeling comfortable about giving your son medication and I am all for it. There are certain things that no matter what, medication will help. My nephew had some issues and after some time, is now taking medication that helps. I just wanted to doubly make you comfortable. You are doing the right thing. These are doctors and realize that sometimes they need to see if certain medications will help so your son may have to try a couple of different kinds and potency but they will get it right in the end.

Teenage depression is very real and he is lucky that you and your family are dealing with it.

A little about me:

I have a great husband and two wonderful (sometimes) boys. My youngest is 16 1/2 and my other is 20. I am one of the owners of the Dream Dinners in Thousand Oaks.

Hi L.
I am sorry to hear about the troubles you are having with your son, but he needs immediate medical attention. Just as you took your child to a specialist for his kidneys and are doing what needs to be done about that, you must do the same for his mental illness. I have worked as a psychiatric nurse for 9 years and the symptoms you describe are serious. He may indeed need an inpatient stay to stabilize him. It is important that you work together with your son's nephrologist, pediatrician and psychiatrist to make sure that everyone is aware of all the symptoms. While his symptoms may be linked to his medical disorder, they need to be treated. No amount of prayer or herbal supplements are going to help your child if he is severely depressed and psychotic. While you should continue to pray for your child and for strength for yourself and the rest of your family, prayer alone may not heal your son. Please do not let him suffer for fear of medications. He will need to be on medications after his transplant to survive and you would not deny him those. Educate yourself on the illness, prognosis and medications and be your son's advocate. If you have any questions that you would like to ask please contact me. Find a psychiatrist that your son is comfortable with and that is willing to explain EVERYTHING to you. God bless you and your family and I will keep you in my prayers.

You are doing the right thing by getting him evaluated by a psychiatrist. We as moms tend to think we have the "medicine" for everything simply by giving our love and support. My children aren't teens yet, but I have 5 kids one of whom is bipolar and on meds (she's 8), and one who went through clinical depression a 5 years old (he's now 10). I have a lot of experience with mental illness as it tends to be genetic (my brother, father and ex-husband are all bipolar with depression). YOu have to do what's best for your child, and if that involves medication to keep him stable and clear-minded then so be it. I was very against medication for my child, but the suffering she was going through without it was much harder to watch. We went through months of trial and error with her medication before we found a SAFE combination that works for her. She smiles and jokes now...she's a kid again...pleasant, has friends, gets along with her siblings. It's a blessing. Parents are here to protect their children. Sometimes we may need to protect them from themselves. Just go to the psychiatrist with an open mind. Make sure they explain everything they are doing every step of the way. They should explain the medication options and side effects. Because your son has serious kidney problems his options may be limited right now, but they will be able to help you find alternative ways to help him and teach him to help himself. God will guide you! Stay strong! May ou be blessed on this most difficult journey.

Lynn,

I don't know if you are aware of this but ADHD, debpression, OCD (not an actual label), are symptoms of something else an effect of a core problem. Make sure they are treating what is causing the symptoms not just the label some psychitrists are better than others. Keeping looking until you find someone that will treat the problem not the effect. Coping mechanisms are great but only a temporary fix. Don't be affraid to medicate. If you have the right doctor they will be able to fix the depression. My daughter has social emotional issues too. She is only six, but we have her on two drugs that are helping her with anger and anxiety (these were her core issues). We have a family history of anxiety and she had a preschool teacher yell at her. Your child could be dealing with a truama issue. Trauma can be a death in the family, divorce, anything that may cause a child to feel nervours or anxious or even depressed. Think back about the time you began to notice the depression. What was going on at that time. If you already have a family history of this it makes it double sword like. My daughter is also seeing a therpist. I also have putting her activities that will help some of her issues such as drama (she wouldn't even eat lunch in front of her friends at school-nothing where she had to perform). Things are a ton better now. When there are changes in environment, she struggles but we know more about how to help her. Her therapist is helping her teach her how to express her feelings. Do the research your self-go to the pharmacists they can help with knowing exactly what the side effects of drugs are. Hope this is helpful.

Although I'm not a teen, I can speak to the depression, because I am in an an ongoing group of people with various types of mental and physical disabilities. I am severely depressed along with phyical problems.

First of all, talk therapy is most effective, along with the meds. The meds will help him here the talk therapy. See if you can help him to find (with your son's doc) an ongoing group to help him manage things.

I would avoid Prozac...It is not good. But that is my personal opinion. Your doc knows more. A couple of the depressed people that have been in my group have heard voices. They have learned to turn down or ignore the voices. So it is possible.

The time before the operation and the recovery will probably be very hard for your family. Do you have a road map for it? A support staff?

I think your son needs to know he is "normal". There are many ways to be "normal". And many brilliant people who are not "normal". Of all the things that I have learned in this group I am in is that you don't have to be normal or even close to it. If your son can hear that from you, even if he doesn't seem to hear it today or tomorrow, say it again and again.

And I used to be suicidal until I nearly died twice in 3 weeks. And then it was really hard to come back to living. Then I learned how precious life is. So I take the drugs to stay alive. The alternative is unacceptable.

L.,
#1 your child is facing more than the normal adult has to fac, then toss in puberty, hormonals, physical illness,
#2 as a believer you know that the Lord gave others talents to heal, let the doctors do their job.
I understand what your anxieties are, but medicines can be good, especially in treating the signs of a teen going through depression. NOTE: i said through,, let him get the help and go THROUGH it. He will come out okay :D
#3 what is wrong with a medicinal aide. Pray for a boy who is starting to think positively towards healing in the summer after surgery.. Help him set goals. One by one. Suicide comes with a feeling of helplessness and hopelessness. Help him find hope.

You are right to be careful about meds. However, it's clear your son needs immediate psychiatric intervention. Get a good doctor--one who specializes in adolescents--and don't be afraid to ask questions. But some kind of medication is clearly indicated here. As for their causing suicidal thoughts: this often happens when an adolescent is severely depressed, takes meds and then starts to feel better. As he/she recovers from the severe depression, they reach a stage where they are not well yet, but do at least have more energy than they did before to act on some of their worst impulses. The adolescent brain is not good at impulse control, as I think we all know. So you need to monitor carefully. BUT: this is not a reason to avoid meds when the situation so clearly demands them.

As for "hearing voices"--this can be an effect of severe depression. It can also be other things. Another reason for seeing a good psychiatrist pronto.

p.s. You may have to go out-of-network for a good psychiatrist. It's hard to find a really good one who participates in insurance plans, because reimbursements for psychiatric services are unbelievably low, especially in this area.

Oh L., I will be praying for you and your Son...I have five grown kids 28 thru 19,,, and I have been thru alot of Spiritual,and sickness..Heres my Phone ###-###-####..Lord bless... call me if you need me R.

It sounds like your son has a lot of health-related issues that he is facing, and your family too. I met a truly inspiring person who grew up with kidney problems and he overhead doctors tell his mother that he probably wouldn't live beyond age 20. He endured two failed transplants and is now on dialysis, his name is Shad Ireland. He talked about experiencing the same depression and such when he was your son's age. He is so inspiring and has a website at http://www.shadirelandfoundation.org/

I understand hoe frightened you are my son was the tinder age og 12yo when he started acting too crazy for me to deal with. He had been diagnosed with ADHD and ODD(oppositional defiant disorder) at around 7yo. SoI was used to medicines and odd behavior. At 12 though he started talking about killing himself and others. And my straight A student was flunking every class including PE. I hospitalized him and he came out two weeks later on welbutrin. I am sure that that medication even though I didn't want him on it saved his life and he is still on it today with no ill effects. Good luck and I am prying for you.
V.

Dear L.,
I myself battled depression as a child. My husband (God love him) feels that it was all misdiagnosed as I was ADD/ADHD from age 8-17 being on Ritalin the entire time. Then by chance they said I was bipolar. Sooo not true! I had household issues going on.

With that being said, as an OB/GYN nurse, I want to let you know that I agree with what was mentioned above regarding medications affecting the renal area. PLEASE! Seek Pastoral counseling FIRST! I'm not saying all Dr's all the same but it wouldn't hurt to see what can be done from a Pastoral/Christian standpoint. In regards to medication do NOT settled for what ONE physician has to say. Get multiple opinions before deciding to medicate. Your son is at a crueltial age. Very vulnerable, growing, learning about himself, etc. Please keep close watch on him and ask him questions. As far as the renal transplant, kudos to your spouse for stepping up and taking on this beautiful donation! Way to go, Dad! As a mother we want nothing but the BEST and won't settle for less with our children. Keep up the good work, we're here for you every step of the way. I would agree that having a physical alignment will indeed cause depression (I have spinal fractures and am in chronic pain every day of my life and it stinks!) But we all are fighters in this life and with the LOVE and HELP from family, friends, God, church family-you too can make it through.
Feel free to send me a private message if you so wish to discuss this further-or we can chat on the phone. I see you're hurting and I don't want you to go at this alone. Perhaps you too can see someone. See if your Pastor has a counseling service they use. I know that Montgomery County Baptist Association has many Christian Counselors. I've been to them and they're wonderful.
Keep your chin up. We will pray for you and your family during this challenging time. You'll make it through. You've got God and so much love, L..
H.

You can go online and research the different meds that the psychiatrist recommends. If it's a chemical imbalance, no amount of therapy alone will fix that. (Not to mention that even if it's depression there's no guarantee that therapy will work and it could take MANY years and tons of money.) There are some meds out there that do not have the potential side effects of suicidal thoughts. The bottom line is that everything you put into your body has a negative side effect and you just have to weigh the pros and cons. Here's a link to an alternative website that gives advice on herbs that can be used: http://www.healthyplace.com/communities/depression/treatm... . There's also a Naturalist in Annapolis: http://www.valerienix.com/ . My cousin has bipolar disorder and had a lot of success going with the homeopathic remedies.

It's hard to know what to do as far as the medication. My daughter was on zoloft for a time when she was about 10 and it didn't help. It seemed to make her angrier. She also has ADHD so we have just kept her on those meds and luckily the depression cleared itself up. It sounds like you are doing good with going to counseling. Is that helping at all. Is he able to talk to the counselor? I think you should definetly talk to a psychiatrist and weigh the options. You mentioned:
"The other disturbing part of this is that he says he feels like he's going crazy because he's "hearing voices" telling him he can't make it, give up, you're no good. This has me really worried and I've never heard of depression causing this kind of thing."

I would definetly talk to a psychiatrist about this. These are considered auditory hallucinations which are linked with schizophrenia. You can google "auditory hallucinations" to find out more information and definitely talk to a doctor about this. Sometimes onset is due to medical reasons other times people are just predispositioned to it and certain life events can trigger it. Being depressed and stressed can certainly play a role. I don't want to mislead you since I really only have a bachelors degree in psychology and don't practice therapy. My husband, however, is a social worker at University of Maryland Medical Center in Baltimore and he works with mentally ill adults. I would definitely make this a priority and talk to as many doctors and people you can so you get the best information. You can email me - ____@____.com if you have any other questions as well.

Good Luck,
B.

Lynn, my heart goes out to you. My son has been coping with anxiety and depression and like you, I was concerned about putting him on medication. I finally agreed to it. It has been a positive experience for him...his attitude, his energy, his grades in school all improved after a short period of time. We have been very lucky and he has not suffered any of the noted side effects. I wish you all the best.

L.: I first want to tell you how sorry I am that your son has to go through such difficult situations in his young life. I don't have much experience with teenage depression but my niece (who is 10) had some depression issues. She did take meds and it has helped her tremendously. The other thing that my sister in law does is to make sure my niece knows how valued she is. Always just let your son know as much as possible, every day, how much you love him, how much he is valued in your family and how much you want him around. Tell him that you are there for him and that there is nothing you wouldn't do for him. And maybe someone will need to keep an eye on him for a while, until his situation improves. If you need a shoulder to lean on...I'm here to chat. Being strong for your son will help him be strong for himself. Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Sounds like you're on the right track with your son. Listening and observing are powerful tools anytime, but especially as he goes through all of this. It's great that he feels comfortable offering advice to other teens. It gives him an opportunity to talk with kids his own age that are struggling. Sometimes, half the battle is knowing that you aren't the only one out there. And, sometimes, in helping others, a person can realize the strengths they have in themselves. It has the potential to benefit both sides. Cheers!

Please keep us posted as he progresses. You may find that his kidney transplant may help complete the cycle of depression and he may rise above it. Sometimes, depression is episodic and once a major issue is addressed, then it's gone for life. Other times, it may return and/or is a life-long thing. My hope is that his depression ends! I applaud you for being attentive enough to know he needed help!

I have to be quite honest with you.Depression is a illness thta is really hard to deal with.Right now i am also going through depression because of a rare disorder called cushings disease and i have only heard about depression and let it go through one ear out the other but it is real.I know that it is one of the hardest things right now that your going through but no matter what you have to be there and Listen to what he is feeling and know that this is something he really feels.Theres not a single touch or a word of advice to someone with depression to make them feel all better what makes me feel a little better is just knowing i have the support of the people whom i love the most at my worst days they will give me my space but lets me know they are around and especially YOU have to have a support system whether or not its a support group, other family, friends something because not only is this effecting him it effects the whole family let him know your there and LISTEN! You might not want to hear exactly how he is feeling but letting it out also helps dont force it when its time hell talk just let him know you will always be there no matter what.I cant even imagine going through this because the thought of your child in pain well you know but try to pray and def find a support system because he def needs you.

Hello L.,

I am glad to read that your family's situation has improved. I am in a family with a long history of mental illness..on both sides. I did not start taking meds until I was in my twenties, but after "talking" with many mental health professionals, I found out I probably would have had a much better life if I had started in Middle School (maybe even earlier.) I have also suffered from migraines since as far back as I can remember. I still have had extreme depressive episodes and I have a family to take care of as well. Not too long ago I spent 3 years totally out of commission (yet somehow I managed to stay on top of the bills.) Anyway, I write because I really feel for you all. My son started becoming very depressed and antisocial in 5th grade, most likely in response to me being an emotional wreck and in the psych unit a lot. Unfortunately for him, that lasted thru 7th grade. He's been in therapy since 2nd grade which really helped him thru the darkness and we were blessed by a local college prep private school who took him in this past year (8th grade.) He is extremely happy now and is my bouncy child again. The relief of seeing your child feel better is unbelievable. They had asked me if I wanted to medicate him, but I felt that for my son talk therapy was enough. However, if he was worse off than he was, I would have DEFINATELY allowed him to be medicated. When you mentioned your son said he heard voices my first thought was for him to take an anti-psychotic. I am so glad he only had to take them temporarily. I have taken them and I have many friends and family who have as well and we all gained lots and lots of weight. I don't mean to be a damper, but my Mom is in her 60s and she just had a bad suicidal episode that was due to her not having an anti-depressant for a month. She's much better now. The point being, continue doing what you are doing. You are so great at listening and responding to your son's needs. Just remember to constantly monitor even if he changes and doesn't want to talk about it anymore. Oh, my son is taking some summer classes at Northwestern University and he loves them. Thanks for reading this. All the best, and good luck with the surgery!!
S. J., Evanston IL

I am so sad for you. What a scary thing you and your family are going through. Fortunately, I don't have experience with these issues. I was worried that your son "hears voices". If they are audible voices that he can actually hear then he must go on medication ASAP. This is a sign of something more than depression. If he doesn't actually hear voices, but is just having negative thoughts it's best to weigh the risks of taking medicine to how he feels now. He would (should) be closely monitored by the Dr. so they and you can be on look out for suicidal thoughts (probably rare).

I am a believer also and want to remind you that there is an adversary who will do anything to bring him and your family down. combat those bad thoughts with some good thoughts.

Good Luck

You wanted to hear about experiences. My daughter suffers from depression. Brought on because her father was dying, and she was graduating from high school, her safe bubble. Her depression than spiraled downward. Once I knew she was depressed, we went to her Peds who prescribed Prozac, supposed to be safe for teens. She then became very depressed, and I found out suidical. Fortunately I remembered to ask if she had a plan. She did. A very lethal plan she didn't intend to carry out, but lethal all the same. girls usually take pills, boys use guns. she was thinking gun. Very well thought out also. Anyway, they changed her meds, things began to get better. The doctors believe she is very sensitive to meds, and when they changed her, they made very small changes when they had to go up on the dose. She is now on Zoloft. My story is, when they start the meds, just monitor very closely. Don't be afraid to ask if he has a plan, a change in this could be a sign of worsening depression. You asking if he has a plan won't make him all of a sudden develop a plan or start thinking about it. I wouldn't ask him every day,but just if you see a change, this should be a question to ask. Next would be has he taken his meds, etc.
Good luck. It isn't easy and even with meds depression takes time to recover from.
R.

My husband has had two kidney transplants. Do you think the depression could be coming from this? Please let him know that Dave has a completely normal life. His first transplant was in college - his body did not like it so rejected it but within a few months he had his second one and has had it 25 years now. The second one was from a girl and Dave jokes that she keeps him up at nights going to the bathroom. He finished college just behind his buddies. He has a black belt in karate and he is a father of a nine year old girl. The kidney transplant has not stopped him from living not one bit and Dave speaks to teen groups all the time about transplants and would love to talk to your son if you think that would help. Dave was never put on medication for depression so I'm not sure we could help with that part of it. Good Luck with the surgery.

T. Gallagher
(44 year old mother of two daughters, ages 18 and 9, full time massage therapist)

L., I don't pretend to be a medical professional, but if your son is even hinting at suicide, he needs help and certainly medication if the doctor prescribes it. My 17 year old granddaughter was first diagnosed with depression and ultimately diagnosed as bipolar. It all started in her teen years. Unfortunately, it seems that these disorders often start during their puberty. She still has a lot of problems but when she takes her medications regularly, she does a lot better. Getting them to take the medication is another story altogether, unfortunately. My have my best wishes and prayers that you and your boy get the help you need. ~~G.~~

Try chiropractic first!!!!! It is a natural solution to many of the issues people face today. Plus, a healthy diet and exercise will do wonders too. Please don't try drugs until an absolute last resort. If you start now, one prescription will lead to another until your son is on a whole bunch of meds and will probably be for the rest of his life. Please try chiropractic first. I go to Premier Wellness Chiropractic in Crystal Lake, TRY IT!

I am a Mom, of a 32 year old son. You know it might help if you seek out a pastor. My sister, years ago, did the same thing they gave her shock treatments, but when prayed for she was released from demonic spirits. These are all negative thoughts, and an experienced exorcist would help more than medicine. The devil is working big time on our children. God bless you and your family. Annoint your son with olive oil and your home. Get help from your pastor.

Okay, I'm not a doctor, I'm just a nursing student, but here's what I know about chronic renal failure:
Along with the obvious physical symptoms, it's posible that there could be neurologic changes, like inability to concentrate, agitation, confusion, stuff like that. Remember that the kidneys filter all the junk out of our blood and that junk can cause TONS of different symptoms. Have you talked to his nephrologist about this? I'm sure you already know this, but be sure the nephrologist is informed of any meds he may be put on. Many meds are toxic to the kidneys. Also, is he in a support group? That may help, too.
I wish you and your family the best and you will all be in my prayers.

L.,

I have a chronic medical disease that started when I was about your son's age. I was on high doses of steroids that caused a multitude of additional health problems, including a chemical imbalance leading to depresssion. It wasn't until I was out of college, though, and working full-time that I was able to admit I had a problem. The medication will help. He needs it to keep things "steady" in his own head and not feel like it's all his fault. The "what did I do to deserve this" feeling is hard to overcome. After my own surgery and getting off the steroids, I was able to slowly come off the anti-depressants as well. One caution, if he's going to take the medication, his counseling should continue. It's important for him to have an outlet where he can talk about anything that's going on in his life -- with a guarantee of privacy. The best you can do for him is be there and love him, which it sounds like you already do.

You might also want to consider counseling for the other children .... it was more than 15 years before I found out how much my brother resented me because of my disease. You see, I was the center of attention because I was so sick all the time. You don't want the other children to resent your son. It only adds to bad feelings.

Good luck ... hope the summer surgery goes well and your family is returned to happiness and joy soon.

K.

Hi,You may want to consult a Naturalpath as another option.

Dear L.
My heart goes out to you and your family. Before I posted a response, I wanted to read the responses you got so that I won't add on to repeated information you were getting. And I have to say you have gotten some wonderful advice already. However, as a Christian, I am puzzled by some of the advice you have gotten "from a Christian point of view." I hope I haven't misunderstood the messages but our God is not a God that opposes all medications or medical help when needed. I definitely do agree that you can't trust all medical professionals and you should be educated about any treatment plan you choose for your son and continuous prayers will guide you to do just that. You seeking medical help DOES NOT indicate your lack of faith or trust in God. As much as I believe in God's healing power, I also think that God deals with everyone and every situation differently and his wisdom is one we can't comprehend. Please pray for his guidance and He will give you the peace in your heart for the best treatment option for your son, even if it means medication.

It is true that depression and Bipolar are overly diagnosed and sometimes incorrectly. Unfortunately there is no blood test you can take do diagnose mental illnesses. But that does not mean that we should disregard all depression or other symptoms. With the symptoms your son is having, I encourage you to seek some medical advice, more than one if you have to. True, no medication is without side effects but there are also many success stories as long as the treatment is being monitored closely and parents are educated to what to look out for. You won't know what will work best until you try. I would advice that you continue to closely monitor your son especialy when introducing him to anything new (natural or medical, or none at all). The most important time frame to be watchful with antidepressant medications is the 3rd or 4th week.
Wishing you all the best, I will keep you in my prayers. God is good and able.

I don't have any advice to give you, and have not had any firsthand experience with anything you've asked. I just wanted to say how happy I am for you that you have your son back and how wonderful to see the positive change in him. I got a tear in my eye as I read your update. This must be so difficult for you and your family - of course your son! But, I am so happy that you have some "good news" amidst this chaotic time. I will keep you all in my prayers as you move closer to the surgery.

L.,

I was a depressed teen. I has some family problems and other things that began the "downward spiral," but starting in eighth grade I began to be suicidal even though I was a believer and was raised in the church.

I thought that I heard voices, but really they were me over-internalizing things. I was dwelling on the negatives so much and so frequently that I began to "hear" my thoughts of inadequacy. For me it was not an actual auditory hearing, but my thoughts seemed so loud it was as if I was hearing a voice. I am not sure if this makes sense, but it is the best way that I can describe the experience.

As for the meds I am unable to say. I know that GOD created us, then has allowed us to have the knowledge to heal, and the ability to work through things. I am biased and generally antimeds because I feel that things are over medicated to the point of causeing addictions.

I lost my mother to cancer when I was 8 and then my father past in 2004 also of cancer, and I was diagnosed with depression by my Nurse Practitioner at age 26. I was given a perscription for Zoloft and I felt like a zombie when I took it. I din't feel deoressed so much, but I felt frozen. My days blurred into one another and I didn't care. I stopped the meds on my own, I could handle the knowledge that I was not in control of my own emotions and just prayed for GOd to do a work in me.

I took St John's Wort for years through my teens and early twenties. It helped me and a freind of mine. When we took it things were not as gloomy nad our thoughts weren't as confusing. I am not certain how this would react with any meds he is on for his renal disease, but you might want to raad about it. I also have heard that flax seed helps and I would think that it is less likely to trigger a reaction with his meds.

I turned to music, drawing, and journaling through my tough times. I had a wonderful pastor and very dear friends. I was not an easy person to be around then, but looking back I realize how much their love and kindness kept me grounded even though atthe time I was unawares.

Seek the counsel of your Pastor and Deacons/Elders. I would aslo make sure that if you go to a counselor/psychologist/psychatrist that they are a professing believer.

I feel for you as a parent, for your son, and will keep you all in my prayers.

C. Prosser