Teen - Night Time Accidents

This brings so many memories for me - the trauma I went through because I wet the bed (til 13). I went from wearing diapers (clothe diapers with the plastic wrapping) to having to sleep outside with the dog. I am probably a little more sensitive about it, but I think that you are on the right track though. I definately agree with you having him taking care of his sheets and blankets. Since you are being patient with him, he should atleast share the same respect. He should take care of his little problem. His bladder is probably fully grown yet. Or he is just a deep sleeper and doesn't realize that he needs to get up and go to the bathroom. Kudos again on being patient.

Hey A.,

I had a cousin who took a long time to sleep through the night without an accident.

If you haven't already, I would take him to see his doctor just to have everything checked out. It is normal for a child to continue to have night accidents for some time - their bladder has not matured, they're heavy sleepers, etc. But I would still have a doctor rule out any other problems (I don't think they would be serious, but perhaps it's something that can be fixed by a doctor).

Other than that, I would definitely have him take care of his sheets. NOT as a punishment, of course. Announce it in an unemotional, nonjudgmental way - just state the facts. He's 13 years old and if he has an accident, that's OK, but he's old enough to strip his bed and take the soiled sheets to the laundry room as well as remake his bed with clean sheets.

I know you have no control over this, but shame on his father for chastizing him. As if the poor kid isn't embarrassed enough as it is! The last thing he needs is an insensitive father.

Good luck and I hope (for his sake) that he outgrows this soon.

M.

I do not know if it would be something you would want to try or not but, I do know it stopped my cousin from wetting the bed in a six month period of using it. He too was older similiar to your son. Here is a weblink for the product

http://www.medicalsupplygroup.com/INCONTINENCE/BED_WETTIN...

My cousin used the wetting control device and kept a journal for six months. This also is good as it wakes the person up and they can then change the sheets. hope this helps!

Oh my goodness...I have SOOOO been where you are right now!!!!!!!!!!!

When we got our teenage son (he came from the foster care system) he was doing the exact same thing only it had NEVER been caught by any of the group home's he was in. It was caught by us, though and he constantly covered it up. He would add another blanket as well and sleep on pee covered sheets.

We took him to the doctor and everything checked out...it was purely a mental thing and he was sleeping so hard he really truly didn't realize it was going on. The doctor actually suggested us setting an alarm for him to wake up 1/2 way through the night to force him to get up and go to the bathroom. It actually worked! He got into the habit of getting up to go to the bathroom that now he does that when he needs to. It also taught him bladder control...

I would definitely start with seeing the doctor, though to rule out any kidney/bladder issues. If you want any more advice or just someone to talk to, feel free to e-mail me.

Good luck!

My 6 year old still wears a pull up to bed and my father-in-law told me that when he was growing up he had bedwetting problems too. FIL told me that besides not drinking before bedtime that he couldn't eat late either because the food put pressure on his bladder. Good luck - hope it helps!

Hi A.,

Please get your son into see a doctor. It is not good that this is happening. Something else could be going on in your 13 year olds life to cause some emotional trauma. Don't know for sure, but do you know what takes place while he is visiting his dad's or other places or other people in his life. Please for your son's sake seek some help for him, do not delay on this no matter what anyone else says. Find a good pediatrician that can help, if it is just an immature bladder then the doctor can adivse also, but be honest with the doctor about what your childs living situation, etc. Take care

K.

Hi A., I am L. and a mother of 10. A couple of my boys went through this. There are various reasons why a child still has accidents at that age. One being that they are very sound sleepers and just don't wake up. No food or drink after 8pm is a good idea. Also maybe an alarm that goes off at around midnight so he can do a bathroom run.
but sometimes the problem runs a bit deeper and maybe he is bothered by something and this is a form of depression. If this is the case an outside source might be needed.
The one thing NOT TO DO is let anyone make fun of him or judge him, parent, teacher or otherwise, because this can cause serious damage.
Good luck and hang in there.

My brother had the same problem growing up. My dad got up in the middle of EVERY night to wake my brother so he could go to the bathroom. If he missed a night, he wet the bed. Some kids just sleep hard and can't wake up. My parents also didn't let him have anything to drink too close to bed time.

You should probably take him to the doctor.

There may be something relatively minor wrong, like(and I am by *far* not a biology genuis, but...) maybe he has bladder issues, kidney issues, muscle control issues, and this is just off the top of my head.

A doctor can look things over and tell you all if something may need to be addresed.

In the meantime, cut out any caffeine several hours before bed along with drinks. Might help him.

Good luck.

Poor kid, this has to be hard on him.

K. W.

You might try taking him to a chiropractor, and or to a person who does body work. Sometimes the nerve that helps with that control is blocked and causes problems, and just one adjustment can fix it.

Also body work can often help. After my 2nd child was born I could not hardly even blink with out peeing my pants. ( yes I had done my kegels) but when I went for body work we found my bladder was in a bad position where it could not empty all the way One 30 minute session fixed the whole thing!

Perhaps you can tell him that you don't agree with his dad and that wearing a Goodnight is not a big deal. Then give him the choice to a)wear a Goodnight or b) change his own bed. Remind him that this isn't a punishment but that you just really need his help in dealing with the wet linens issue. Maybe having him checked by a specialist would be a good idea if you haven't done so. They could help to figure out if it is physiological or if something else is going on. A doctor probably could help you come up with an appropriate plan. Sounds like your son's dad is somewhat difficult to deal with. Maybe if he is presented with a plan from a doctor he will be able to be more of a support for his son. Good for you for being so supportive and helping your son through this.

One of biggest symptoms of a milk allergy is bedwetting. This may not be the case for your son, but when my 8 year old had this problem, I heard milk could be the cause, and within 2-3 days of being off of milk the bedwetting was gone forever! He ended up being able to tolerate goats milk. As big of a challenge it is to have a dairy free diet, it was well worth it.

I remember those days and thank God they are over. The doc told me that the boys were heavy sleepers therefore I needed to wake them up, no water or liquids past a certain time of night. The matured and so did the size of thier bladder. I know this sounds hard but you have to make him change his sheets, the second blanket thing is teaching him to be lazy, also not getting up at night is also lazy. There are so so many reasons, we did the urologist thing the alarm thing the goodnight thing... it was endless and exhasting. Also if he is going through some stress it could be his shut down time... so much that he is out when lights out. Sorry there is never an easy answer bt know there is light at the end of the tunnel. Don't ignore the warning signs, stress or UTI are two players beyond your control and need medical attention.

Hope that helps....